Underground
by Tabitha craft
Summary: Pacey is a doctor living in Boston. He hasn't seen Joey Potter since they were 18 when she and her family disappeared. On his way to work one day he finds her with a severe head injury beside a dumpster. Joey and Pacey never dated. He used is feelings for her and directed them into school.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a new story. I would really appreciate reviews. I know people read my stories but reviews are motivation! **

**So please review!**

**Chapter 1**

It was raining when he found her. The fact that he found her was a surprise and nothing short of a miracle because he hadn't actually been looking, but one look and it was clear she needed to be found. Pacey hadn't seen Joey Potter since he was eighteen and he had headed off to study medicine at Harvard. They'd been friends at school, hell, they'd been friends since they were in diapers, but at eighteen she'd disappeared, apparently cutting all ties. It would be a lie to say they weren't close. They'd been extremely close, especially in those last couple of years. Joey may have been from the wrong side of town, from the wrong sort of family but there was no mistaking how gorgeous she was, nor how she had the ability to stir him up inside. She was an opinionated girl, that never failed to get his attention. And on the few occasions she had let her guards down, she hadn't only been gorgeous but she'd also been nice, really damn nice. He had wanted to stay in touch, more than anything, he'd considered himself in love with her after all, utterly head over heels, but after Bessie moved away he had never seen her again, she and her family just disappeared. But that was all years earlier, when she'd had clear bright eyes and, in addition to a disregard for the rules, a steely determination to succeed.

It had been seven years since he had seen her and he didn't immediately recognize her. Pacey dropped to his haunches in front of the young woman huddled in the alley behind some dumpsters. It was a miracle that he'd even stumbled across her. He was using the ally as a short cut to the hospital from his apartment, but his doctor instincts kicked in and he stared at the young women trying to ascertain what was wrong with her.

'Hey...are you ok?' his eyes scanned her arms for the tell tale track marks of needles but he found none, and then he looked at her face. 'Joey?' the air went from his lungs. She didn't look at him, she gave no indication that she'd heard him at all. All of his instincts told him that if he touched her she would flip out but he was unsure what else to do. That was when he noticed there was blood dripping down from her hairline and every doctoring bone in his body urged him to check the injury. Looking her over he couldn't see any other obvious injury but half of her body was hidden by the dumpster. She was dirty, thin, pale, and her clothes were old. However, she didn't smell. Well not obviously, the way the hobos he cared for did. There was no obvious stench of urine but it wasn't like she smelt of Chanel either. 'Joey,' he repeated softly but she continued to stare at nothing.

Realizing he had no other option he dropped to his knees beside her,

'I'm going to touch you Joey. I need to look at the wound on your head,' he spoke softly as if she were a scared animal. She was scarier than a scared animal because her blank expression remained unbroken. Reaching his left hand forward he gently touched her head, his expert fingers working their way around her skull. The wound was in her hair and was serious enough for him to pull out his cell and call ahead to the hospital. He was tempted to call for an ambulance but her non reactive state had him worried and he decided he could manage to carry her there, it was only half a mile and she couldn't weigh a hundred pounds. It would be a lot quicker than waiting for an ambulance.

'It's Doctor Witter,' he said when he reached Maria on reception. 'Call emergency and tell them I'm bringing in a woman. She has a serious head injury, she's conscious but unresponsive. I can't see any further injuries.'

'I can send an ambulance,' Maria offered.

'I'm only a half mile away. I don't want to wait for an ambulance. I know this girl Maria. I need to get her there,' Pacey hung up and searched through his bag for a clean dressing. Cursing, he bunched up a clean t-shirt he had in his bag for his post gym workout and pressed it against the wound. It must have hurt but she made no reaction. Standing up Pacey pushed the dumpster out of the way and then looked at Joey again. 'Fuck,' it was unprofessional for the expletive to rush from him the way it did but the dumpster had hidden what appeared to be a stab wound though he couldn't be entirely sure. There was a lot of blood. He hit redial on his cell,

'Look Maria, send the ambulance and make it quick. She's worse than I thought.'

'Will do,' Maria immediately put the call through remaining on the line with Pacey,

'Get Jack to run over here with a kit please,' Pacey added, 'I'm in the lane that runs from my street at the corner of 15th,' he explained. 'He knows the route I take to work,' Pacey explained not caring that this somehow implied that he and Jack were an item. He didn't really care what the hospital rumour mill kicked up.

'Sure,' Maria agreed and Pacey hung up and immediately peeled the t-shirt off his back, and kneeling beside Joey ripped the blood stained vest away from her body. He frowned and swore again. Carefully and with infinitely gentle hands he tried to move her hands from her knees but she resisted, the first sign she had noticed his presence at all.

'I need to lay you down Joey. I want to help you with that wound on your side,' he spoke softly, kindly, as if he were still her best friend, and moved his hands to hers gently running his fingers over hers and lifting her fingers. This time her hands came away and he saw the dark bruises on her wrists. Trying not to let his mind run away from him he lay her down. She was too thin, her ribs jutted out and the wound was bigger and bloodier than he anticipated. He pressed his t-shirt against it and looked up the lane for Jack who was thankfully running towards him.

'Here's the kit Pace,' Jack dropped the kit to the floor and gasped. 'Is that Joey?' he immediately began assisting Pacey in the medical treatment of her injuries.

'Don't give her anything until we've done a tox screen. I can't see any evidence of drug use but...' he didn't need to say more.

'Joey, this will sting,' he warned her before cleaning the wound. There was no reaction.

'So you just found her, here Pace? Just by some fluky luck?' Jack frowned at his friend as they worked on putting in an IV.

'Half hidden behind this dumpster,' Pacey leaned over Joey, 'hey sweetheart, Jack's here,' he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear but Joey's eyes stared ahead blankly.

'What the hell has happened to her?' Jack asked rhetorically, he knew Pacey would never theorize in front of a patient who might hear.

'We're gonna make it better honey,' he whispered as the flashing lights of the ambulance approached. The EMT's jumped out and helped Jack and Pacey load her onto the stretcher and nobody stopped them when they wanted to ride in the back with her. On the ride to the hospital she flatlined, but by the time they got her to the hospital her heart was beating again but Pacey immediately scrubbed in to lead the operation that was to save her life.

* * *

Pacey stood at the foot of the bed watching as Joey awoke from the anesthetic. She was hooked up to a ton of machines, a rape kit had been used as signs pointed towards that having occurred, but she was breathing and her heart was beating. Pacey moved to the side of her bed as her eyes fluttered open.

'Hi Joey,' he took her hand. 'It's me Pacey... remember, the arch nemesis of your youth ' he smiled but she frowned, 'Can you tell me what happened to you?' he attempted but the frown deepened.

'Where am I?'

'You're in Boston General Hospital. I'm a surgeon here.'

'I know you?' she didn't seem convinced.

'You did, when we were kids.'

'No...' she shook her head.

'You don't remember?' he lifted her lids to look at her eyes and she pushed his hands away.

'But...'she trailed off.

'What happened Joey?' he asked.

'I don't understand,' she stared at him with bewilderment.

'Do you know who I am?' he asked at length wondering whether the wound to her head had caused amnesia. It was totally plausible.

'Pacey Witter,' she spoke softly, her voice scratchy.

'And you know who you are?' he asked.

'Josephine Potter,' she agreed but then a tear leaked out of her eye.

'Hey, it's ok. I might be your doctor but we we're friends or we were once... you can talk to me.'

'I don't understand,' she repeated.

'What don't you understand? Can you tell me what happened?' he leaned back in the chair trying not to overwhelm her.

'You...you don't remember,' she was frighteningly pale.

'Me?' Pacey couldn't help but be taken aback. He was used to people's confusion, often people didn't recollect what exactly had happened to them, but he'd never been accused of not remembering.

'You'll think I'm crazy,' more tears leaked out. 'I'm not but you'll think I am.'

'Joey, look at me,' Pacey's voice was deep and calm, she turned frightened eyes to him, 'something happened to you. You were stabbed, from what I can gather you were forcibly held and you had a serious head injury. I won't think you're crazy.'

'Where are they?' she asked at length.

'Who?'

'The children,' her breath caught in her throat and her face crumpled.

'You had children with you?' Pacey paled.

'Jake and Alice...' she nodded. 'My...children.'

'Ok, look I'll go get the police in here and we can get an APB out on them ASAP.'

'No Pacey wait, you don't understand,' there, she'd said it again and Pacey was beginning to feel frustrated.

'Start at the beginning then, make me understand. I want to help,' he took her hand and she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

'I have to start way at the beginning,' she hung onto his hand.

'Ok,' Pacey nodded wondering what was going on.

'You remember how we met?' she asked.

'In diapers at the park. Our moms made friends.'

'Yeah,' she seemed relieved. 'They were friends...for a long time, up until my dad was arrested by your dad, you know that first time, before my mom was really sick.'

'My dad had issues,' Pacey grumbled.

'Your mom was good - she snuck care to my mom when she could, things you'd never realize. They used to mail things. They wrote letters to each other until my mom died.'

'Wow...I had no idea,' Pacey was surprised by his mother who talked about little these days except the grandchildren. She had yet to say she was proud of him, if she even was.

'When do you think you last saw me?' she asked. Pacey remembered it clearly.

'That party at Dawson's. You and I, well we made out. We'd been talking out on the dock and I kissed you. We kissed for hours. You left the next day, though I asked you to come see me at Harvard. You were supposed to be starting Worthington. You were so excited. You were planning to show them all. I just never heard from you again. I tried to get in touch, but I couldn't find you. Jack, Jen and I went to Worthington a bunch of times. Dawson didn't know. You just disappeared, I guess we all thought you were making a fresh start.'

'Ok...after high school...I met up with you at Harvard...I was visiting Jen and you and I got to talking, to flirting actually,' she looked at his bewildered face and stopped.

'Joey, I haven't seen you since high school,' he frowned. 'Nobody has. I see Jen and Jack all the time. Even Dawson. You just disappeared and as Bessie had moved...' Pacey was worried about her.

'No,' she shook her head. 'You... you said you had fallen in love with me. Over the course of a weekend, well I'd laughed in your face but you said it was over the course of a lifetime. You kissed me and I yelled at you, then you kissed me again, and I kissed you back. We dated Pace, for four years. Four years of banter and fighting, of sex, oh my god the sex, of being in love. You asked me to marry you and you knew you didn't even have to ask. Jack was your best man, Jen was my bridesmaid. Bodie and Bessie gave me away and you kissed me in an entirely inappropriate way - I didn't care. We spent a month sailing in a little boat you named True Love. We finished our training and got jobs and when I got pregnant you didn't stop smiling for a week. You boasted that you'd knocked me up twice you were so pleased it was twins and when they were born you held my hand the whole time even though I swore to castrate you,' she trailed off. 'Like I said, you don't remember.'

'Joey,' Pacey said gently, 'none of that happened.'

'Are you trying to tell me I imagined my entire life?' she frowned at him.

'You've got a serious head injury, you died for a few minutes in the back of the ambulance. I'm not saying that what you remember is imaginary, just that the traumatic experience you've clearly been through may have blurred real memories with those of me and Jack finding you.

'Look, if you think you had your children with you, we need to find them. You said their names were Jake and Alice?' Pacey felt guilty when her eyes flooded with tears.

'They're babies Pace,' she whispered and his gut rolled. Maybe it was the absolutely distraught expression on her face or the way she said his name so intimately, with years of familiarity behind it but he felt suddenly unwell. He hadn't heard her call him Pace since that party years earlier, and it was far to familiar. It spoke to her delusions.

'How old are they and what are their full names? What name do you go by? If you want me to help you, I need information,' he spoke kindly. It was Joey Potter after all, and as he had said to her he was her doctor and her friend.

'They're eleven months. Alice Lillian Witter and Jacob John Witter,' she didn't miss the spark of scepticism in his eyes, 'those are their names whether you believe me or not,' she told him. 'And I go by Josephine Potter - always have, always will.'

'Look, I'll get the cops in here and I'm going to get a doctor down here to talk through all this with you...' he made to stand but she caught hold of his hand.

'I don't want another doctor, I want you Pace,' her eyes were wide. He squeezed her hand but shook his head,

'I know you do sweetheart, but I can't help you. None of it happened. I don't know where you've been for the last seven years but it wasn't at Harvard. We aren't married and we don't have kids. I live here in Boston, alone. No one has seen you. I'll see if the police can track down Bessie.'

'Bessie's dead,' she said unexpectedly and then frowned, 'no wait, no...' she trailed off looking confused. 'No,' she shook her head.

'Joey,' Pacey watched the confusion write itself across her still perfect features. 'Tell me what you're remembering?'

'I remember her alive. She... she just visited with Alex...oh Alex,' her hands covered her eyes and she began to rock back and forth, the word no muttered repeatedly. Pacey hit the nurse call button and reached for Joey's hand but she hit out at him.

'Don't touch me,' it was real fear that emanated from every pore. 'They're dead, they're dead...' the level of her voice was rising and she seemed to grow ever more frantic.

The door opened and the nurse looked in at Pacey holding Joey who seemed to be exploding with insane yelling and immediately drew up a shot of sedative and inserted it into Joey's arm. It took only moments to work. Pacey settled her back onto the pillow and looked at her peaceful face. Without really thinking he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, then stood and exited the room with the nurse. Jack was waiting for him and was stood with Jen, in her police uniform. He gestured to them and they followed him down the corridor to an empty room.

'What the hell is going on?' Jen asked and he arched his eyebrows at her. 'I mean, tell me what appears to have happened?' she rolled her eyes.

'She was stabbed, I'm pretty certain of that. She was held for some time, bound at her wrists. She has a serious head wound, inflicted with a blunt object - it appears to be affecting her memory. It appears that she was raped. There is no DNA on her body but there was lots of physical evidence. We've kept her clothes for you guys,' he nodded at Jen. 'She was scrubbed clean before she was released. I believe the injuries are a day old, although she has a stream of previous injuries - fractured ribs, skull fractures, bruises, that could have been inflicted days or weeks, months or even years ago.'

'What does she remember?' Jen asked.

'She seems to have blurred real and fake memories together. She thinks we're married, that we're all still friends, that we have two kids,' Pacey shook his head with a frown.

'Wow,' Jack put a hand on Pacey's back. 'Thats extreme.'

'Well maybe she is married with kids, and she confused me with her husband because I found her,' Pacey shrugged feeling uneasy.

'Did she give you names?' Jen had her note pad out.

'She says she still goes by Josephine Potter. The kids are Alice Lillian and Jacob John. She says Witter, but if they are it's obviously not me. They're eleven months old according to her, so if they were with her they need to be found.'

'Can we trust this information?' Jen asked.

'It's all we've got. The most real thing that happened was when I said I would get you to find Bessie. She said Bessie was dead. She got extremely disorientated but I believe she thinks Alex is too. That's why we had to sedate her.'

'I'll go see her if that's ok?' Jen needed Pacey's medical approval.

'If it were anyone but you I'd say no. You'll need to give her a couple of hours. Her clothes are with Maria.'

'I'll get the station to put out an APB for the kids and begin seeing what we can dig up on her.'

'Thanks Jen,' Pacey smiled at her.

* * *

Jen cornered Pacey in the hospital lunch room where he was sat with Jack and a couple of other doctors.

'Excuse us,' she said bluntly looking at the two unwelcome men.

'Catch you later guys,' they grinned and left. Jen had a reputation at the hospital and no one wanted to mess with her.

'So if Bessie and Alex are dead there have been no bodies found. On the other hand there has been no active use on Bessie's SIN for seven years and to all intents and purposes they are officially missing people.'

'So she may be right, they may be dead,' Jack felt queasy.

'Well they may be, but Joey is officially classified as a missing person, well not now, but there has been no evidence of her existence for nearly seven years either.'

'Any children by the names I gave you?' Pacey frowned at all the information. Jen shook her head,

'But the names could be wrong. I have the force looking in case. It wouldn't do not to be prudent.'

'No,' Pacey agreed.

'So the bad news,' Jen leant in closer to them. 'Bodie was murdered. They found his body in upstate New York five years ago. He was shot,' Jen was used to murders but she hated the thought of someone she had personally known being murdered. Someone she had liked.

'Ok I don't get it,' Pacey was glaring at the table. 'We all grew up in Capeside. We lived in this sheltered, perfect place. It was beautiful and we had friends and we were nearly innocent.'

'Not Joey,' Jack reminded him and he glared at him,

'I know not Joey. But her dad - he was a criminal but it was small town. How did an entire family disappear.'

'Mike Potter wasn't such a nice guy Pace,' Jen informed them.

'The guy was a douche but he wasn't involved in more than drugs.'

'Yeah but the guys he was involved with we're involved in a lot more than drugs.'

'So maybe he had something to do with the families disappearing act?' Pacey suggested.

'That's what we were thinking,' Jen began.

'Were?' Jack prompted.

'Joey has popped up twice in the last seven years. Both times in New York, both times after her family disappeared but nearly seven years ago.'

'In what manner did she "pop up"?' Pacey asked.

'Using a bank card to buy two items of clothing at the Gap.' Jen let the information sink in. 'So I'm going to talk to her now. I've referred this to the FBI but they haven't reviewed it yet so I'm going to talk to her whilst I can.'

'The FBI?' Pacey knew he could probably figure out why if he really tried but his head was turning all the information over in addition to a small portion of his brain that was still thinking over Joey's injuries, the expression on her face when she told him he'd fallen in love with her. An even smaller part was remembering that night at Dawson's.

'Yeah. This has drug ring written all over it. I don't think it's any coincidence that Mike Potter was released from prison seven years ago. They may have information on her father, even on her, that we're not privy to.'

'Ok. We should call Dawson,' Pacey stated feeling the pressure of time and things to do.

'You do that,' Jen nodded. 'Ill catch you two later,' she ruffled Jacks hair causing him to snarl at her. 'Trying to lighten the mood,' she shrugged easily.

'The only thing to lighten anything is the fact that she's safe.'

'Yeah...' Jen interrupted sheepishly, 'we're going to keep an officer outside her room for the time being and we better limit who we tell about this.'

'But Dawson is ok?'

'Not yet. Just hold off for a bit I think.'

'Gotcha.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jen pushed open the door to Joey's room and stared at her one time best friend. Whilst her waistline was enviable, the rest of her was not. Jen could immediately see that the intervening years had not been kind to Joey. She was too thin if anything, and her face was bruised, though line free - she looked young but not in a good way. She had a bandage on her head and a number of tubes and wires. Jen walked over to the bed and could see the rope marks around her old friends wrists. There were other bruises on her arms and when Jen looked closely there were marks around Joey's neck.

As if she could feel eyes on her Joey opened her eyes.

'Oh thank god,' she gasped the words and her hands flew to Jen's. Jen's brow pursed.

'You're here, so you know I didn't make it all up. Pace keeps saying my memory is tricking me, but now your here. Please tell me it was all a bad dream?'

'What was?' Jen took her fragile hand automatically.

'Pacey saying we're not married. Please say you found the twins?' Joey's expression was desperate. Not mad, Jen decided, but desperate.

'Joey, where do you and Pacey live?'

'You know where we live,' Joey frowned.

'Humour me here Jo,' Jen said as if they were still sixteen. It worked,

'About a block from you - 4395 west nineteenth,' Joey croaked as Jen memorized the address.

'And what do you do for a living?' Jen asked again.

'I..' Joey frowned. 'I...um...I guess I don't remember. But I have a head injury, I think that's ok.'

'And how long have you and Pacey been married?'

'You were there Jen,' Joey exclaimed but Jen just arched a brow, 'two years ago.'

'Tell me about the wedding?'

'Ok,' Joey pursed her brow, 'you're not going to make me think I'm crazy too are you?' she asked but Jen just gave a dismissive shrug. 'Ok, fine. You were my bridesmaid, Jack was best man. Pacey, you and I, we set up Doug and Jack. They've been together ever since! It was a beautiful fall day and we held the ceremony back in Capeside. We used the yard at Dawson's.'

'And Dawson was ok with you and Pacey?'

'Well he tried to talk me out of it, you know that as well as you know he could never have succeeded. I love Pacey and last time I checked he loves me,' she frowned, a wave of visible doubt crashing over her.

'Jo...' Jen wanted to tell her it was all her minds fabrication but she didn't know what she would achieve so she pushed that desire aside. 'How did you get hurt? Who hurt you?' she watched closely as Joey's face clouded over and the sprinkling of doubt weaved across her features grew larger. She looked at Jen.

'I want Pacey,' she stated clearly and firmly. Jen had no doubt that if Joey didn't get Pacey everyone would know about it.

'I'll get him for you,' Jen sighed and stood up leaving the room. A few minutes later Pacey entered the room. When Jen had found him his first feeling had been that he wanted to be irritated. He had a lot to do and whilst he wanted to make sure Joey was ok, he had many other patients. But he didn't feel irritated because part of his mind was with her. She looked up when he entered and her whole face lit up with a genuine, beautiful, smile.

'Thank you Pace,' she breathed a deep sigh of relief and held out a hand that he took without thinking. She threaded her fingers through his as if it was the most natural thing in the world, so natural that Pacey didn't even think to stop her. It was only when she squeezed his hand that he noticed what had happened. He told himself off. He had to stop staring at her face every time they were in the same room in what he was sure was a doe eyed manner. He hadn't thought about Joey in a few months. But he'd thought about her constantly for the first year after that party when he'd finally got to kiss her. He'd tried to find out what had happened to her, they all had but she simply vanished and they all concluded she wanted to disappear and not be found. The following six years were full, of medical training, romances, fun, friends and family. There were thoughts of Joey, probably too many, but she was a bit of a question mark, a mystery that couldn't be solved. And she still remained the most beautiful girl he'd ever met. And one of the only girls to ever get under his skin, to make him really, really want her. Of course it was years ago. He didn't want her any longer he told himself, but he did want her to be ok.

He watched as she pressed her forehead against their joined hands, wincing slightly at the pain but clearly she wanted to be close despite the discomfort. She pressed a kiss to his hand and then tugged him into the chair beside her bed.

'Pace...' she began her eyes large.

'Joey,' he returned.

'I trust you. I trust you more than anyone. I'll believe you if you tell me. Is my mind all messed up? I feel so confused.'

'Aaah Jo,' his heart constricted, 'it could so easily all have happened - just the way you describe it, but it didn't. I haven't seen you in seven years. We aren't married. We don't have children together. Jen is a cop here. Jack works here as a doctor. We see Dawson every thanksgiving. He always comes over from LA. We never see you. You vanished. Your whole family vanished.'

'So Bessie and Alex?' her voice cracked. 'They're really...' she let go of his hand and covered her eyes, for a few minutes they remained together in silence, her eyes covered, until she took a deep breath and looked at him. 'I'm clearer now Pace,' she looked up with wet eyes. 'I still have those memories I described but there's something else... like an echo of discontent, something that's causing me to doubt my memories. Something that says they might be a dream and that the nightmare might be a reality,' she turned her eyes on him and his heart pounded.

'Tell me about the nightmares,' he urged her but she shook her head.

'You aren't my husband,' it was a statement, more to herself than him.

'But I care about you,' his blue eyes were startling to her.

'You used to care about me,' she clarified.

'If I were really your husband what would you say to me?' Pacey attempted and her eyes softened and her hand snaked across and took his.

'First I would tell you that I love you. That I really love you,' her face crumpled, 'and that I'm sorry...' she broke off as tears ran down her face.

'Jo sweetheart,' he caved at the sight of her tears.

'He...he...forced me and I hate that I couldn't stop him.'

'It's not your fault,' he immediately knew she meant the rape they had theorized had occurred. 'And you don't have to be sorry.'

'It's all so unclear but he hurt me and I'm sorry,' she choked a little, 'I mean I would say I'm sorry.' She pushed her tears back and took control of herself surprising Pacey. She had just admitted she'd been raped and yet she had the self control and wherewithal to centre herself and continue. 'I get flashes, bits and pieces. I'm not used to not having perfect recall and a clear head,' she gave him a small lob sided smile, 'at least the me I remember isn't. I remember having a big IQ, even better than yours, I just don't remember if it's true.'

'Cant be,' he wrinkled up his nose. 'I'm definitely smarter than you,' he wasn't sure what drove him to the tease but her whole persona changed, her eyes even sparkled a little.

'Only in your dreams,' she smirked, apparently at home with the teasing.

'Like you know anything about my dreams,' he scoffed as he might have done at sixteen.

'Lingerie clad girls dancing around you with beer I'm sure,' she arched a brow at him and he laughed.

'Ok so you have my dreams straight, but my smarts...'

'Are clouded by alcohol and girls?' she interrupted and he laughed again.

'I never mix the two actually,' unaware he leaned in towards her.

'Thats not what I remember,' she rolled her eyes.

'Well your memory is useless otherwise we would never have been having this conversation - you are deluded enough to make up a memory where your IQ is higher than mine,' he rambled on a grin on his face.

'I have an absolutely crystal clear memory of a high school graduation party at Dawson's,' she smirked at him and he chuckled,

'Now Joey, that's not fair...'

'Totally fair, you were drunk on beer, I was lingerie clad and you definitely liked it.'

'I was the one that rid you of your clothes, of course I liked it,' he smiled, 'but all you've proven is that on a very rare occasion I've enjoyed booze and a girl.'

'I've proved you lie, or extend the truth.'

'Ok, let's hear it, what does your brain tell you your iQ is?' he knew his voice had turned flirtatious but he couldn't seem to stop it.

'Well now, how do I know you won't just take my IQ and add to it to ensure you beat me?'

'Apparently you trust me,' he smirked.

'I'm probably less intelligent than I imagine,' she gave a fake sniff and Pacey grinned.

'Ok, on the count of three,' Pacey appeared to have forgotten where they were.

'Whose count?' she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

'Mine and we say on three,' Pacey gave her an equally suspicious look.

'Ok.'

'One, two,' Pacey arched his brows at her. She arched hers back. 'Three...' He said three and then said, 'one hundred and forty,' at the same time as Joey said,

'One hundred and eighty,' and promptly smirked.

'Lies,' he scoffed, 'that's off the chart.'

'Then I'm off the chart baby,' she informed him.

'I'm sure you are but we're discussing IQs,' he quipped leaning in towards her.

'Hmmmm,' he watched her eyes drop to his lips and his heart began to hammer wildly.

'If we were married this is when I would kiss you,' she informed him.

'Is this how your mind told you being married to me would be?' He found his eyes fall on her lips.

'In my fake memories it always goes something like that,' she nodded.

'You mean I let you get away with kissing me before I kiss you, doesn't sound like me,' he scoffed a little.

'Depends what mood I'm in,' she shrugged and then winced. 'Wow...'

'Wow?'

'Yeah wow. You made me forget, for a minute there. I forgot what I remember and what I don't. Are you sure we're not married?' She sounded resigned yet hopeful.

'I think I'd remember. Especially the sex,' he was teasing again.

'In my fake memories it was pretty fabulous. Extremely so.'

'As it would have been in reality,' he smiled at her and she smiled back.

'I should give Jen a description of the man,' she abruptly shifted the mood and Pacey leant back in his chair. 'I also...I don't know, there's more. Will you keep coming and talking to me? Things seem clearer when you're around.'

'Of course. It's fun to remember being around you,' he said rather awkwardly and pushed to standing as there was a knock at a door and a man in a suit entered.

'Hi,' he stared at the man and appraised him. He must have been in his late thirties, good looking, strong and he was staring at Joey.

'Doctor Witter?' the man stuck out a hand as Pacey nodded, 'I'm agent Greene from the FBI.'

'Ok, hi,' Pacey frowned.

'Can I have a word outside?' Greene asked and Pacey nodded. He smiled at Joey and he and Greene stepped outside shutting the door to her room.

'I was hoping you could tell us what condition Potter is in?' Greene motioned to a woman who joined him, 'this is my partner Adele Cortez,' Adele Cortez took his hand. She was a plain lady but all business.

'I found her this morning. She's been raped. She was clearly bound, possibly strangled. She had a severe stab wound and a head wound,' he gave them the detailed medical analyses of each injury.

'The police report said her memory has been affected?'

'I should explain that I knew Joey Potter when we were kids,' Pacey explained. 'She disappeared when we graduated high school but she and I were good friends. The cop that filed the report, they were best friends and Dr Jack McPhee and she were also close. It was complete chance that I found her. I think because it was Jack and I that found her she must have merged or fabricated memories. Her head injury was very serious and she was in bad shape. Whatever she has experienced was clearly traumatic. She was under the impression that she and I were married, that we have children together. She may be married and have children but not with me.'

'She's not married and she doesn't have children,' Agent Cortez sounded as no nonsense as she appeared. 'We've been looking for Potter for some time.'

'What did she do?' The question was entirely inappropriate and in many ways unprofessional but it slipped out in his surprise.

'Nothing. She's one of our agents,' Cortez gave him something approximating a glare before stalking into Joey's room.

'They were partners,' Greene summarized as if that somehow explained Cortez's attitude. The he too entered Joey's hospital room, 'we can take it from here.'

* * *

Pacey wasn't concentrating as well as he should and was thinking about arranging early cover for the end of his shift. He couldn't stop thinking about Joey and the situation surrounding her. Joey as an FBI agent seemed ludicrous and yet it also made some sense.

'Pace,' Jack interrupted his paperwork.

'Whats up Jackers?' Pacey turned to look at him noting that his friend looked as exhausted as he felt.

'Joeys freaking out. She's asking for you. We'll have to sedate her again unless you can calm her down. I thought you'd want to know,' Jack gave him a pointed look and Pacey nodded wryly wondering how Jack could know him so well.

'Coming,' he joined Jack as they breezed down the busy corridors. They reached her door and could hear her shouting.

'Please get Pacey, no stop,' on repeat. Pacey was surprised by the surge of anger, both professional and personal.

'What the hell is going on?' he growled pushing into the room. Agents Greene and Cortez were on either side of the bed.

'We're just asking her some questions,' Greene glared at him, but he saw Joey reach for him.

'She's been through a lot and you're clearly distressing her,' he physically moved Greene aside and checked Joey's vitals. Or tried to but she grasped a hold of his hand and seemed to sigh in relief.

'Actually the problem appears to be that she won't talk to us without you present Dr Witter,' Cortez growled at him.

'You ok Jo?' he looked at her and she gave him a positively sheepish look.

'Medically I'm fine Pace,' she looked down. 'They keep asking me things and I can't seem to think clearly. I still remember you and me and yet there is so much other stuff.'

'That is medical,' he assured her, 'as I keep trying to remind everyone your head injury was severe,' he tugged at their linked hands and she released it allowing him to finish checking her vitals.

'But I feel ok. I only want you because my brain tells me that I always want you. That I love you. I know in a rational way that it's not true, you've told me as much, but I can't stop that feeling yet,' she sighed as he sat down and took her hand this time.

'I'm your doctor and your friend,' he reiterated. 'If you need me, Jack, or Jen, we're here for you. I've pulled you from a burning building, deposited you home drunk on your couch, annoyed you, kissed you and danced with you. If you need me I'm here.'

'Thank you,' her eyes were wide.

'Thank you Dr Witter,' Cortez was watching the scene with apparent anger and she didn't sound very thankful. She was scornful and apparently expected him to leave.

'Josephine, we need to talk privately,' Cortez stared at the younger woman.

'I don't know who you are, I don't remember,' Joey stared at the woman.

'You were raped,' Cortez stated and Pacey caught a flicker in her eye. Cortez was angry that it had happened and it seemed to Pacey that she may perhaps care more about Joey than was immediately apparent.

'Yes,' Joey nodded seemingly torn between emotional and what Pacey could only assume was FBI training. 'His name was Stephen Flax,' this came out of nowhere and Joey seemed as surprised at the information as the two agents who exchanged a look. 'I can give you a description to go with the name. I told you I'm clearer around Pacey,' she sighed. 'Not that I know why, when I apparently haven't seen him in seven years.'

'Still means you knew me for eighteen,' Pacey supplied, 'and I found you.'

'Yes you did,' she looked at him with such genuine affection that Pacey found himself choking up a little much to his surprise.

'Are Bessie and Alex really dead? And Bodie?' her face was a mask of calm, but her finger nails were digging into Pacey's palm.

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' again the unexpected softness from Cortez.

'My father?' Joey seemed to be reaching at something through a fog.

'His associates,' Cortez confirmed and Joey seemed resigned.

'Why is it all the bad memories are true?'

'Do you remember what happened?' Cortez asked and Joey shook her head.

'My mind tells me I'm a happy person, married to this guy from my past with two kids. You all tell me that none of it's true. These flashes, like nightmares come through and I feel certain about them but it's like I know and don't know them.'

'Let me give you the basics, see if it triggers anything,' Cortez offered and Joey nodded. 'You scored off the charts on your SATs. You were flagged a potential recruit, especially when there was terrorist chatter around your father and his associates upon his release. He went off the grid. We were going to let you go through college but when we interviewed you, you consistently scored above a 180 on the IQ tests.'

'Aha,' Joey turned to Pacey in triumph and he chuckled softly, but his attention was on Cortez. 'I remembered that,' she explained flushing red. The blush made her look healthier.

'Things went kind of crazy after that. Somehow your sister found some sort of evidence linking your father to a terrorist cell planning a string of bombings along the Mexico border in an effort to import heroine on an extremely large scale. That's as much as I can say on that. Your sister, Bodie and their son all disappeared so we took you into protective custody and began an excellerated training programme.'

'Did my father kill them?' it didn't make sense to Joey. Her father was a crappy dad but not a murderer.

'We believe your father was in too deep. We have evidence to suggest he killed Bodie, some sort of test by the other men. Bessie and Alex were found in a different location,' Cortez stopped at the expression on Joey's face, one of shock and horror and disbelief. She shook her head a couple of times but winced in pain. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. Cortez watch as she pulled the young doctor towards her and observed the willing affection he gave her.

'I know,' Pacey murmured into Joey's soft hair, feeling tears burn his eyes as well. The three members of Joey's family had always been around. He'd held and rocked Alex. He'd teased Bessie, hung out with Bodie. Joey's family had always been a lot nicer than his. He felt his heart literally ache at the thought of Joey being twenty five and entirely alone in the world. At the thought of Alex being killed, maybe watching his mother and father die.

'It's ok,' Joey pushed him away but kept her hand threaded through his. 'So I'm taking it I contacted my father after getting in with another group? I was the key to bringing the plot down?' Joey arched a cynical brow and Cortez nodded.

'Something like that. And you did succeed. It took a year of infiltration, your brains appealed to them, your connection to crime was heavily constructed. You were well backed up. It didn't hurt that you were beautiful and looked so innocent. The men loved that you could achieve things they never could and you were welcomed with open arms. You kept your father alive, his association with you. But when you brought the whole lot crashing down a small group of men escaped with you. We thought they'd killed you, but they must have been holding you.'

'For how long?' Joey frowned wondering what her body may have endured that she simply didn't remember.

'Four years. I guess it was punishment. No one could have betrayed them more than you. They were certain of your loyalty.'

'Can you test me? For everything?' Joey turned wide eyes on Pacey,

'We already have Jo. We'll give you the results when we get them.'

'Ok,' she nodded and cast her eyes to the blankets. 'I kind of hope those memories don't come back,' she sighed, 'I guess I remember the last incident but there were probably more.'

'You probably retreated into yourself, and that's probably why you have these false memories. I probably became the man featured in this fantasy world because I found you.'

'I guess,' she nodded. 'So what now?'

'We need to know everything you remember. From the false memories to the real. Sergeant Lindley passed us on an address. We need all the information you can give us. We'll get our artist to visit you and see whether we can get a likeness for Flax and any other individuals you remember.'

'But where do I live?' Joey frowned. 'I mean where do I go? Do I have any money? Clothes? I have nothing.'

'The FBI paid for the first year you were missing, then as is protocol they stopped paying and froze your assets. We can set up a bank account for you. They'll backdate your pay. You have money. We can set up a safe house and ensure you have clothing and anything else you might need for when you're released.' Joey couldn't help that her eyes flicked to Pacey's. She squashed the fear down and nodded.

'That sounds great, thanks.'

'You'll be protected until we find out how you got away.'

'You could stay with me?' the words escaped him by mistake but he didn't really want to take them back. It just felt wrong sending her off to a house by herself.

Joey looked to Cortez who shrugged.

'It's up to you,' she said.

'Do you really mean that?' she looked at Pacey, trying to not look hopeful but unable to hide it.

'Yeah I do,' he nodded. ' Jen lives a block away and Jack three. I have a spare room. My place is big. And I have a dog.' Her eyes lit up,

'A dog? What kind?' she tilted her head to one side and her eyes ran over his face as if absorbing each detail.

'A husky.'

'Your place,' she stated and Cortez and Greene made to stand.

'Clothes? I...' Joey didn't really want the FBI to choose her clothes.

'Jen can pick you up some basics,' Pacey told her and she breathed out.

'Josephine. I know you don't remember me, but I am glad you're ok,' Cortez had stopped at the end of Joey's bed. 'I was your partner and your friend.'

'Thank you,' Joey gave her a small smile.

* * *

'I come baring clothes,' Jen pushed into Joey's room after knocking.

'Wow, thanks,' Joey eyed the large bag.

'Don't thank me, it's just underwear, a couple of t-shirts, hoodies and track pants. I don't know what you like,' she smiled trying to remember their friendship, 'I mean I could have got you the baggy jeans and oversized sweaters you wore when we first met.'

'I'm glad you didn't,' Joey smiled.

'This will get you started. When you're better we can go shop together.'

'If they'll let me,' Joey stated.

'Yes,' Jen had heard some of what had been said. 'Your description was good and maybe more will come back to you that will help them locate this cell.'

'I can only hope.'

'I missed you,' Jen stated. 'I have girl friends, but not many. My profession is male centric and I hang out with Jack and Pacey when I want a break from cops. I did miss you though. I was angry when you disappeared but I guess that anger was wrong. It would be good to hang out when things are...more normal.'

'Yes,' Joey agreed simply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Pacey and Joey smiled at the FBI agent outside of his apartment door.

'We've done a check inside and it's all clear,' the guy told Pacey.

'Great thanks,' Pacey felt kind of awkward about the guy in the car out front and the guy outside the door, but apparently the information hidden inside Joey's head was considered extremely crucial. As they pushed into his warm sunlit apartment he felt self conscious. He loved his place, he did, but he didn't always put a lot of effort into it. It was clean and comfortable, the furniture almost tasteful. It didn't tell a person a lot about him, or so Pacey thought. There might be a few pictures stuck to the fridge with magnates but that was about it for personal touches. The throws across the couch and the big cushions spoke to his fondness for that particular article. To Joey it was perfect. She loved everything about it, the throws and cushions included. The fact that a large husky dog immediately padded up to the front door and gave them both affectionate nuzzles made it perfect.

'Hey Bub' Pacey greeted his dog ruffling his ears and patting his flank. 'This is Joey, you need to look after her,' he informed his dog who's ears had perked up.

'Hey Bub,' Joey didn't even question the name but let the dog sniff her before dropping to the ground in front of him and running her hands across his head and ears. 'You're lovely, you are,' she told the dog who looked like he felt the same way. She awkwardly got to her feet and Pacey shucked her bag onto his shoulder and led her through the apartment, unsurprised at Bubba who followed them.

'Its all fairly obvious. That's my room and this is yours,' they were across the hall from each other. The guest room was a good size with a comfortable double bed and plenty of storage. Joey nodded,

'This is lovely. It's perfect,' she whispered the words as she went and sat on the edge of the bed.

'Ok, I'll leave you to settle in,' Pacey smiled awkwardly and headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

* * *

He knocked on her door but there was no answer.

'Jo,' he called through the wood and then shrugged looking at Bubba. Bubba looked back at him and he nodded, 'you're right.' He cautiously opened the door and peaked in. He was surprised to see Joey exactly where he had left her two hours earlier, perched on the edge of her bed. The bag was where he had dropped it. 'Joey,' he repeated when he realized she was asleep, perched on the edge of her bed and upright. It made him wonder what she might be used to.

Slowly, and as quietly as he could manage he (and Bubba) entered the room. Moving to her he opened up the covers behind her and then weary about putting his hands on her, eventfully settled for pushing her back onto the bed by her shoulders. Her eyes opened but instead of fear she smiled at him and closing her eyes again leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He resisted and took a hasty step back.

'Joey,' he said her name louder and Bubba whined. Her eyes shot open and she looked startled.

'Oh my,' she put a hand to her lips. 'I...I must have been dreaming,' she looked mortified.

'I wanted to put you into the bed,' he tried to explain over the pounding rhythm of his heart.

'Oh. I thought...well...' she didn't need to explain what she had thought. Her mind had clearly been back in her fantasy world.

'You're safe now Joey. You don't need that world any more. I'm really here, the real me,' he attempted sitting down beside her.

'I feel like I've been with the real you every day for the last seven years,' she sighed.

'This is the real me. I'll never be as good as the one in your head. Fantasies always beat the reality.'

'The real you seems pretty nice.'

'The real me made some pasta if you're hungry.'

'Sounds good.'

* * *

'Pacey,' Joey approached the living room dressed in a pair of pyjama pants and a hoody that Jen had got her.

'What's up Jo?' Pacey paused the show he was watching, observing her quizzical look.

'Did you just pause the tv?' she asked and when he nodded she laughed. 'Maybe some things in reality are better than my imagination.'

'You've missed a lot,' Pacey summarized succinctly and patted the space next to him. Carefully she lowered herself onto the couch and he stretched the throw to cover them both.

'Oh this is nice,' she sighed. 'I could get used to this.' She squirmed a little in her seat knocking against him. He laughed.

'Wait until you see this,' he passed her what appeared to be a slim black leather book.

'A book,' she gave him a disdainful frown. 'I remember books.'

'No, an iPad.'

'A what pad?' she smiled as he flipped open the cover, pressed the home button and the screen lit up. Loads of icons appeared over a picture of Bubba. He leaned across her demonstrating how it worked, not that she needed help he observed, as her superior brain power clearly kicked in along with the intuitive nature of the device.

'Now this is cool,' she said a while later and passed it back to him.

'Feel free to use it whenever,' Pacey said easily putting it on the coffee table and turning to the tv put on netflix. 'What do you want to watch?' he asked.

'Whats on?'

'Anything. You can choose any show they have loaded on and watch any episode. There are a ton of films too.'

'I haven't watched tv in...well years.'

'Something light then,' Pacey decided and flicked on How I met your Mother. 'I think you'll like this.'

The show started and she seemed to huddle into him, making him smile when she laughed out loud.

* * *

Pacey pushed through the door of his apartment and laughed to find Joey and Bubba on the couch watching How I Met Your Mother again.

'This is dangerous technology,' Joey turned to him with messy hair and a grin.

'It's not so bad when you're under house arrest,' he conceded.

'No, but it's absolutely deadly to productivity.'

'I think we all agree you've earned some down time,' Pacey was still stood at the door.

'Are you coming in?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for my damn dog to greet me,' Pacey stared at his dog who after perking his ears at Paceys voice dropped his muzzle back in Joey's lap. 'Hmmm.'

'So I should have cooked...' Joey began.

'But you were to busy watching tv?' Pacey chuckled and flopped down on the other side of Joey as Bubba was occupying the majority of the couch. Bubba looked at him before closing his eyes contentedly.

'Actually I completed Candy Crush for you.'

'What do you mean?' he frowned.

'That strange game on your pad thing. You were on level 147 so I completed it.'

'Thanks - that level is a bitch.'

'I meant all of them,' Joey clarified with a frown. 'I mean you can do them again, I could see that.'

'All of them?'

'Well all of them as of now, until there's an update,' she shrugged.

'Ok,' Pacey mouthed as she turned her attention back to the tv. He looked at her profile. The bruises had all but gone and her STI tests had thankfully come back negative, as had the pregnancy test. She was clean. They'd found traces of a drug in her toxicology report. A sedative with hallucinogenic side effects. If it was used for a prolonged time and combined with her head injury it went some way to explaining and understanding her memory issues. Pacey looked at her messy hair and her large eyes, the slant of her cheek bones and the set of her lips. He still found that her beauty could make him ache deep inside. He told himself many times that it was ok that he found her pretty. And it was ok. But Pacey could see nothing worse than involving himself with her. It would be a train wreak and so he was decidedly hands off. Friends was good he had decided. Friends was good, he reminded himself when she snuggled down beside him, spreading the throw onto his legs too and leant her head on his shoulder.

* * *

'Ok, ok...no more tv until we clear up or you remember something that will get Jerry off my front door,' Pacey turned off the tv and stood up.

'I like Jerry,' she defended.

'Yeah, but the threat to your life - not so much,' he teased as she put yesterday's pizza boxes in a pile to recycle.

'I read your recycling articles,' she smiled at him as she put the leftover crusts into his food compost.

'I have recycling articles?' he frowned.

'On your favourites. I took it that you were that way inclined. I liked it,' she gave him one of her soft smiles.

'I am that way inclined,' he agreed.

'I think that maybe when this is all over, if I have enough money, I should go to college, maybe study medicine,' she stated. 'I was reading some of your medical research articles.'

'Thats a great idea, though when I said you could use my iPad...'

'You didn't mean for me to pry?' she looked a little worried, 'I think it's inbuilt for me to pry. I'm inclined to blame the FBI.'

'I'm sure you are,' he teased.

'Well I've decided that as I don't really know who I am, I may as well blame all my flaws on them.'

'Your flaws?'

'My new found tv addiction. My inability to keep from prying through your stuff,' she shot him a guilty little look as she folded the throw and patted Bubba.

'You went through my stuff?' his voice squeaked a little as it did in his youth and he cursed the Joey effect.

'Just your iPad. And your room. I don't know what came over me. It was like I was compelled to explore every nook and cranny of this apartment,' she was so sincere that he laughed.

'You find anything interesting?'

'Not really. Some underwear that was so old I thought it saw you through puberty, an extremely lame porn DVD and an astonishingly small credit card bill.'

'I wondered where that DVD went,' he mused and this time she laughed.

'With those nasty old undies, you'll be needing that DVD!' she was making fun of him and he liked it.

'Anything else of interest?' he wondered how far she had gone.

'You had a box in your closet from high school,' she smirked and looked almost coquettish.

'And did you go through it?' he took a sip of beer, handing her one and dropping onto the couch beside her.

'Of course,' she looked at him like he was crazy. 'Wouldn't you go through a box of my high school junk? I mean especially if you falsely thought you were married to me?'

'If I thought you'd never find out, yes,' he tapped his beer against hers.

'But if I pretend I didn't do it, how can I make fun of you for what I found?' she asked and he shook his head dropping his head in his arm.

'Do I want to know?' he peered at her over his arm and she stopped laughing. She reached a hand towards him and ran a finger down his cheek, then just as suddenly pulled her hand back.

'So I found this,' she shoved an old photo of the two of them with Dawson at him. He was giving her a piggy back and she was sticking out her tongue.

'Oh wow, look at us. We're babies,' he chuckled.

'Oh there's tons of those to cringe through.'

'Anything really juicy.'

'Poetry,' she raised a little notebook and he flushed red.

'They're not poems, they're songs,' he attempted but Joey was already giggling.

'I would love to say they're brilliant but I'd be lying,' she practically snorted through her laughter. 'I actually think Bubba was worried about me. He started to howl and Jerry burst in with his gun drawn. Oh man, it was a fun hour.'

'And you never wrote poems?'

'I did, but they were good Pace,' she sniffed back tears and ruffled his hair.

'You're a cruel woman.'

'You kept my postcards, all three derisive postcards,' she gave him an affectionate look.

'I kept your bra too,' he teased, his cheeks aching from smiling.

'Yeah I found that. But who did the panties belong to?'

'Tamara,' he shrugged with a cocky smirk.

'It figures,' she leaned towards him conspiratorially, 'you do know what the best thing was though?'

'Tell me,' he leaned towards her to.

'These,' she pulled two DVDs from behind her back with a broad smile.

'Let me guess. Monster from the deep and my first time?' he practically rolled his eyes.

'Oh how I laughed. I was surprised how well you did for a fifteen year old boy!'

'In which one?'

'Both,' she giggled. 'Though only one was a truly magnificent performance.'

'I don't want to know which one,' he grinned. 'Any other discoveries?' he was surprised how little her snooping bothered him.

'Aside from dodgy clothes, an embarrassingly large stash of gossip magazines and that bookshelf full of comics?'

'Yeah,' his eyes sparkled.

'Hmmmm. Your very own comic - Dr H and the invasion of the Purple Pod People, story and art work by Pacey Witter.'

'Oh man, where did you find that. I had totally forgotten about that,' he snatched it from her hand and began eagerly reading it.

'That was quite the find. It was in the back of an extremely out of date atlas - that is, out of date according to the wonderful internet.'

'Look, look, he has purple space boots. Man I thought that was so funny.'

'I don't get it,' she frowned and he looked at her incredulously.

'Space boots as in they've gotta lot of space in them space boots and he's from space.'

'So not funny,' she shook her head.

'I will admit a lot of my jokes in this hung on the double meaning of words.'

'No kidding,' she wrinkled up her nose at him. 'So, Thai or Chinese for dinner?' she shifted the topic at break neck speed, something that Pacey still wasn't used to.

'Thai, and we can't keep eating take out. We'll get fat.'

'You told me I'm underweight. You said I need to gain at least thirty pounds.'

'Not all in one go.'

'I used your work out stuff so I can afford to eat take out. I set it all back when I was done.'

'Your arm and chest though, your head,' he fussed but she have him a get real look,

'I'm not stupid Pace,' she merely said reaching for the phone and dialling the Thai place by heart and ordering all his favourites.

'How?' Pacey stared at her as she hung up.

'Oh, I found their takeout menu on the fridge. I remembered the items you marked,' she shrugged.

'Were you this smart in high school?' he reached across her to stroke Bubba.

'Yeah, I just hid it better. You have to remember that i have memories of us together, doing this.'

'Is that what your mind tells you? That it was like this?'

'Something like this. We were feistier in my memories, but I guess in high school we were. Now you're careful of me. I also seem to remember a lot more sex. And we'd be closer, like always touching,' suddenly she paled and turned to him with wide eyes.

'What? Are you ok?' Pacey took her hand and ran his other along the top of her arm.

'You don't think the sex in my fake memories was to blot out them raping me?' she looked like she might be sick, 'oh god,' she abruptly stood up knocking the remote to the floor. 'No,' she shook her head and looked widely around the apartment before stumbling across him and heading to her room where she slammed the door behind her. Pacey watched her go, as did Bubba before he heaved himself off the couch and ambled across the room before dropping to the floor across Joey's doorway.

* * *

Pacey had decided to leave her for a while. He wasn't sure what drove the decision. Having Joey in his apartment was confusing him. After her three days in the hospital he and Jack had both agreed it would probably be best if Joey's social interactions were kept to a minimum whilst she tried to regain her memory. To that end in the five days since she had moved into his apartment every night had been spent just the two of them. Joey didn't leave. The FBI didn't want her to, it was to much of a risk. Pacey came and went as normal and aside from Jerry and Todd, the two guys who alternated duty out front, that was it. What confused him was how great it was. How natural and fun it had been. Aside from her sleep driven almost kiss and this evening, it had been like two old friends, two flirtatious old friends. And that was the problem. She was fun, she made him laugh and she was gorgeous. She was absolutely his type. She had been his type in high school and she was his type now. But it was more than that. She was his type but it was Joey. Joey had always had something, something Pacey could never quite resist. An appeal beyond other girls who were also entirely his type. Simply put, in a room full of girls as attractive, as smart, as funny, as unique as Joey, he would always want Joey the most. It was a fucking mess.

Pacey could admit he wanted her, in a screw ball, no way in hell, way. But she wasn't just some girl. She had a distorted amnesia. She was an ex FBI agent. She had been held captive for four years, she had been brutally raped and beaten and nearly killed. Her entire family had been murdered. And cherry on the cake she had false memories of them being intimately involved, that she recognized weren't true but led to moments like the one earlier, when she'd do something so intimate, so sweet that he could almost imagine he was her husband. It was fucking screwy.

When the food arrived Pacey knocked on her door. There was no answer, but she never answered and he'd always walk in.

'Hey Jo, the food is here,' he looked at her sat on the floor.

'I was held in a basement. Of a house, and they didn't repeatedly rape me. I wasn't always a prisoner. Flax was nothing to do with the cell. He was the only one to rape me.'

'Ok,' Pacey immediately sat down opposite her.

'They had me bound in the basement and they were mad. I wasn't always tied up. I had a room with a toilet and...it was dark. It was always dark, so there were no windows. I can't get the timing of things. They tortured me. Physically and with sensory deprivation, I think they wanted information...I don't know what information or if I gave it to them, or whether they eventually accepted I was on their side. I can't remember. It feels like this was before, and then with Flax...They had a device. Something I could make work. I don't know. I don't remember the details. I spent nearly all my time alone. They'd make it hot and deprive me of water, or make me freeze. They'd block out the noise and light, they used drugs. They kept me sedated for long periods.'

'So who was Flax?' Pacey had take her hand.

'I don't remember. That's all I've got.'

'I'll call Cortez, she'll want to come over.'

'Ok. Sorry for freaking out there, it kind of all rushed over me. The thought that I could have turned something as horrific as what Flax did into memories of you and me...' she paled again and so Pacey squeezed her hand.

'It would have been understandable.'

'No Pace,' she gave him a searching look, 'I know those memories aren't real. I'm sure one day it will even feel like those things didn't happen. But I would hate for those fantasies to be tainted.'

'Fantasies eh?' Pacey raised an eyebrow and the mood. She thwacked him across the shoulder and blushed.

'Well in my mind you were amazing. But that's in my mind,' she smiled.

'I've never had any complaints,' he smirked.

'That was evident in your little home made porno,' Joey teased.

'It is kind of weird that your brain tells you and provides you with imagery so real of you and I and yet nothing happened. It's like you've slept with me but I haven't slept with you, does that make sense?'

'Absolutely. Let's not forget I've seen you pee and fart as well in these fake memories of mine,' she grinned and he chuckled.

'Well we're married,' he defended glibly.

'Yeah. It's fading though, if I'm honest. I've been clinging to it a little. You know like you cling to a good dream even after you're awake. It's like nothing and everything. This fake memory of you simply holding me, it does something to me inside. Until that day you found me, no one had shown me any kindness, any affection, not for many years. I must have gone years without being touched, well except to be hurt. So I keep trying to keep it real, to keep it feeling like it happened. The emptiness is closing in, it's like I know it's not real. I can't hold on to it anymore.'

'Thats rough Joey. Come eat some dinner now and we'll talk more,' Pacey stated and held out a hand to her. She allowed him to pull her to her feet but instead of turning for the door he pulled her close against him and wrapped his arms as tightly as was comfortable around her, bringing her head against his chest and pressing a soft kiss to her messy hair. For several minutes he hugged her close and then took her hand and led her to the couch where served her up some Thai food. They ate in silence watching Friends but when they were done he moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her, shifting her so her back pressed into his chest and his arms met across her stomach.

'Thanks Pace,' she turned her head pressing her ear to his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Pacey had a day off and as was usual he went for a run with Bubba, cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and lounge, vowing yet again to get someone to come in and clean for him. After cleaning he usually ran to the store, or stores and picked up groceries for the week. Before Joey had been found he had plans to cook dinner for Gretchen and Doug, Jen and Jack. He'd put Gretchen and Doug off but Jen and Jack were coming over.

Entering the apartment from the store, Joey, and thus Bubba, came to greet him. Joey reached for some of the bags,

'I was going to clean today,' she told him bashfully. 'Then I wake up to find you've done it.'

'Routine,' he shrugged, 'and I'd have hated for you to do it with your injury.'

'I'm going out tonight,' she stated. 'They want me to go into the bureau. You'll get a night off from me,' she watched him closely.

'I don't need a night off from you, I like having you around,' what he said was true though he did think some space might be good but not for the reasons she though. As Pacey placed the last of the bags on the counter to unpack he was surprised to find Joey stepping up to him and wrapping her body to his, face pressed into his neck.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered the words against his skin, the warmth from her mouth spreading through him, 'I'm scared I'll fall apart if I can't be close to you. It's so unfair and so I'm sorry,' she didn't let him go. Pacey couldn't help but wrap his arms around her, not when she needed it, and especially not when it felt so nice to have her there.

'Thanks,' she took a step back. Her hair was neat today he noted. Well brushed and pulled back in a pony tail. Her face was still make up free, he wasn't even sure if Jen had picked makeup up for her, or if Joey would wear it if she had it. She was of course in sweats and a hoody, but she looked beautiful. Still far to skinny, because even though they were eating takeout, Joey never ate a lot of it.

'Would you like some lunch?' he asked.

'That sounds nice. Shall I make a salad?'

'Great,' he smiled as he began putting away the groceries, observing her eyes following where everything went. 'So you looking forward to getting out of this place?' he got himself a glass of water.

'Not at all,' she frowned as she worked on his dining table chopping peppers and cucumber for the salad.

'Seriously?' he chuckled.

'Your apartment is perfect Pace,' she smiled warmly and nudged her foot into Bubbas as a sign of affection. 'You must forget how light and spacious it is, how warm and homey and safe. I love it here. You have tv on demand, an iPad that's connected to the whole world and the worlds best dog.'

'I never really looked at my place like that before,' Pacey didn't smile, 'but then again I've never had four years of my life taken from me.'

'And I hope you never do,' Joey said darkly.

'Have you remembered more then?'

'You noticed the extra protection?' She arched a perfect brow.

'No?'

'Yeah they're trying to be subtle. I had a bit of a breakthrough. I remembered what the device does. I want to tell you but it's classified. I can give them physical descriptions, they'll probably be able to put names to the men.'

'Wow,' Pacey gave her a smile.

'The memories came at a price though,' she gave a small shrug.

'What was that?' He couldn't help the concern.

'The false memories, that beautiful dream world, well it feels like a dream now. All the bits of it that felt so real, they're all disappearing. And the reality is coming back. Each minute of enduring what they put me through is coming back. I'm scared Pace,' she looked up surprised to find he'd pulled up a chair and was sat beside her.

'Scared?' he echoed the word, his hands on hers.

'These last couple of weeks with you, with my delusional brain, I've felt almost happy. But the reality is dark, the world I live in is dark. There's no space for laughter and affection. I haven't known anything else for six years. I've been tortured, tormented, beaten and raped. That doesn't fit in this apartment, with you and Bubba. What if I'm never happy again when it all comes back?'

'I know all that happened, but I've seen bits of the you before all that. Nobody can change the fact that what we experience contributes to who we are. You were fighting the good fight Jo. You were trying to save lives. Focus on that.'

'But I can still feel the pain,' she looked at him and he took the knife from her hand and surprised himself by pulling her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her. He pressed a kiss to her hair and her shoulder and when she tuned to look at him with wide eyes he pressed a kiss to her lips. It was spontaneous and not thought out in anyway, though he did know that deep inside he really wanted to do it. But wanting to do something and doing something weren't the same thing.

Joey parted her lips and it felt to Pacey as though she melted into him. Whatever inner desire had broken through his careful plan to keep his distance from Joey went into overdrive and he tugged her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her, deepening the kiss between them. And then her lips parted from his and she slipped off his lap.

'Bad idea Pace,' her hands fiddled together nervously.

'It was more of an impulse than an idea,' Pacey gave a little shrug and she smiled.

'I get it, more than you think,' Joey sat back down on her chair. 'I can't do it to you.'

'Do what to me?' he frowned.

'Confuse your kindness with more,' she said simply. 'I'll give you some space and get Jerry to take me to the bureau now.'

'You don't need to do that. I'm pretty sure I kissed you and not the other way around.'

'I know you think I'm pretty. I read your poetry remember? And I know enough about body language to know you still find me pretty. I've been taking advantage of that because it feels so nice to be close to you. I think I'm good at manipulation. I guess I'll blame the FBI for that.'

'Back to blaming the FBI?' he tried to smile.

'For all my flaws,' she agreed.

'I don't feel manipulated,' Pacey stated.

'I'm glad,' she stood and moved to the door. Bubba followed her, looking at her expectantly.

'I think maybe my dog has been somewhat manipulated.'

'He just loves me,' Joey buried her hands in the dogs fur and pressed her face against his head. 'I'll see you later I guess.'

* * *

'What the hell is with you Pacey?' Jen said the words both she and Jack were thinking.

'You know,' Jack was in teasing mode. 'He's looking at the door more often than Bubba.'

'Oh you didn't,' Jen shook her head.

'Didn't what?' Pacey frowned.

'Fall for Joey all over again?' Jen really couldn't understand her friend sometimes. 'You actually have the first clue what she's been through. The last thing she needs is a love sick puppy...'

'I am not a lovesick puppy...' Pacey protested.

'I was referring to your dog and was about to add, and an idiot besotted with her.'

'I am an idiot,' Pacey agreed, 'but you don't understand.'

'What don't we understand Pace? We all know how messed up she is. Don't forget I was with you that day.'

'I know it's all screwed up but when it's just me and her here she's so, so... Joey. You know she's funny, and annoying and she makes me laugh. She went through all my stuff and I didn't even care because she teased me about it and made me laugh.'

'So your saying there's been nothing unusual in her behaviour?' Jen gave him a knowing look.

'Ok,' Pacey rolled his eyes, 'of course she's not "normal" but she never was. I have caught her sleeping sitting up...'

'I do that,' Jack waved a dismissive hand.

'Not perched on the edge of the bed.'

'Well no, I don't do that,' Jack conceded.

'But mentally...unless she's remembering something we talk...'

'And flirt,' Jen interrupted.

'I know it's a bad idea. I mean I was not interested. I asked her to stay because her entire family is dead and she's been kept, who knows where for four years. We were friends. I loved her once. I loved her a lot.'

'We all would have had her stay,' Jack stated and Jen nodded.

'You know that.'

'Well it wasn't because of anything ulterior. I know it's a screwy situation. I remind myself a million times a day. I mean I can't even begin to imagine how a life with Joey could work. She must be entirely fucked up. She is. She's there and she's not there. She can be distant and cold and yet craves me touching her. Who knows what they did to her? What might set her off? She's a loose cannon and I could never be involved with that. It's screwy...'

'But?' Jen prompted.

'Oh there's a but is there?' Joey's voice spoke from behind them. She stood looking at them, impossibly thin, hair pulled back, face void of makeup. She looked about fifteen. Her eyes were large and she kept biting at her lip as if holding back tears, the effort of keeping the tears inside written across her face.

'Joey,' Pacey instantly jumped to his feet knocking over a glass of wine, but she held up a hand.

'No sit,' she shook her head. 'It's fine. It's true.'

'No, that's not what I meant,' Pacey took a step towards her, Jen and Jack making guilty eyes at one another.

'Look it's fine,' she held up a hand to him. 'I wanted to collect some things so they brought be back here. I also wanted to thank you for everything. For saving my life and allowing me to stay here. I need to change and pack up,' she nodded curtly.

'Where are you going?' Pacey felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped out.

'Back undercover,' she nodded and looked at the ground, shifting from foot to foot.

'But you're not healed,' Pacey protested taking another step in her direction. 'After what they did?'

'Surely you can't do that?' Jack was blunt and to the point.

'Well you see I am healed. My wounds might not be, but my memory is now crystal clear. It's all a lot more complicated than we thought and I won't bore you with the details. Despite all that occurred, I don't really have a choice but to go back undercover. If you knew the consequences of my staying out of this you'd push me out the door yourselves,' and with that she picked up a bag and headed to her room, Bubba on her heals.

'I'm a fucking shit,' Pacey dropped onto the couch looking pale. 'She heard what I said. I feel sick.' And he did. His stomach rolled both at the thought of her going back into the situation that led to her broken and bleeding in an ally and the thought of what she heard him say. 'I...I...' He stood up and paced, then sat down. 'Jen...tell me what to do?'

'Go speak to her,' Jen suggested.

'She must hate me,' Pacey hated the idea of that.

'She doesn't hate you,' Jack could tell.

'And you had a but in there. What was the but?' Jen forced it.

'But I can't stop thinking about her, and when she's here it feels like she should always be here.'

'So go talk to her,' Jen reiterated.

'There's really nothing to say,' Joey appeared again, Bubba at her side.

'Wow,' the word slipped past Pacey's lips before he could stop it. Joey had changed her persona entirely. She was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans tucked into biker boots, she wore something black and figure hugging up top and her hair was in a loose bun down low and on the side. She had on a touch of makeup. She looked exceedingly young, extremely sexy and like she was trying to hard to be tough.

'The men expect this. To play my part I have to look young and dumb, like I've bitten off more than I can chew,' she explained. 'This is a disguise they created. You may meet the normal me one day, though maybe not.'

'Can we talk?' Pacey asked but she shook her head.

'I have to go,' at the word go Bubba stood and walked to the door. 'Sorry Bub, too dangerous for you,' she looked at the dog and sighed. 'Thank you for everything Pacey. I'm sorry I screwed with your life,' she gave him a soft smile and headed for the door. Pacey pounced,

'No wait,' he called tripping over furniture.

'What?' She turned to look at him and he could see the innocence, the vulnerability, all the things that probably made her so appealing to the cell she infiltrated.

'There was a but.'

'Ok,' she turned to leave.

'Those things you heard me say. There was a but,' he took her hand and she turned back to face him.

'You want me to listen to the _but_, huh? Does the _but_ change anything? No. I don't need to hear it,' she breathed in and out. 'I understand Pace. I am entirely fucked up, _but_,' she emphasized the word, 'I loved being here. I love this apartment. I love your dog, I loved it all. You don't need to feel guilty because you said the truth, I just feel a little sad that I seemed that way to you, because with you is the only time I don't feel fucked up, just my life feels fucked up, but me, I feel ok,' she squeezed his hand and turned to leave.

'I want to kiss you,' he only whispered the words, 'and I don't want you to pull away.'

'I have to go,' she tugged her hand from his and opened the door to join Jerry and a number of other agents who seemed to have been waiting for her. Bubba whined and moved through the door. 'Go back in Bubs,' she told him.

'We want to know what happens to you,' Jen was stood beside Pacey, 'you tell them to inform me as your next of kin.'

'I don't have a next of kin,' Joey seemed sad so Jen moved out into the hallway completely at ease amongst the agents.

'You do have people that care about you and you have them inform us,' Jen said again.

'I want that to be true Jen. I want what you all have. I really, really want it. But this is all I know and I don't have a choice. I told you that. What they're planning is so despicable...I know Pacey is torn. Steer him away from me.'

'I'm not going to do any such thing Joey, because if he likes you it is because you're worth it. Now you tell them.'

'Ok, ok I will,' Joey conceded and rather abruptly hugged Jen before letting her go and taking the non protocol weapon she was handed. 'See you sometime,' her eyes locked with Pacey's. She tucked the weapon she'd been handed into a holster on her hip and then took the flick knife she was handed pushing it into her back pocket. Pacey stood watching it all and in Joey's words he was torn. He knew what he wanted to do, but he knew it was an extremely bad idea. When she looked up at him, her eyes rapidly flying over every bit of him, he did what he wanted and not what was for the best. With a furious glare at the men around her, he stepped through them all and pushed her against the wall and kissed her with all of himself. His entire body pressed against her, his mouth swallowing her gasp and then taking delightful advantage of the way she kissed him back. His kiss was wholehearted, hers was urgent, desperate in the affection it took from him. It was like no other kiss for either. Her hands snuck up his t-shirt, grabbing at his body, his skin and pulling him closer. At length, his heart pounding in his ears, he felt her push him away. He resisted for a nano second, keeping his body close to hers. His eyes opened, hazy with longing and took in her innocent face tilted up to look at him, her teeth biting down on her lower lip, her large eyes almost coquettish in their adoration of him.

'You said you didn't want me to push you away, but I have to go,' she stared at him. 'Believe me Pace, if I didn't have to go, I wouldn't be pushing you away, but I do so I am. It's probably for the best,' her hands were on his chest but instead of pushing at him they were carving paths across his muscles, his ribs, his stomach.

'For the best?' He couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence, 'I can't see anyway in which you leaving at this minute could be construed as for the best.' He wrapped his hands over hers.

'I need some time Pace. To fix this problem and to...to...be not "entirely fucked up,"' then she frowned, 'I'll miss you.'

'I never saw you as fucked up. You're not you know Joey. You've handled everything so much better than others would. You are still you. When you said that before, about feeling like it was the situation and not you, that was right. That was spot on. Why else can't I stop thinking about you?'

'I'll see you Pace. Remember, no news is good news,' she gave him a lopsided smile and a kiss on the corner of his mouth and headed down the hallway talking to some FBI guy. He felt Jen come up behind him, felt her hand on his back but all he really felt was bereft.

'What the hell just happened?' his words echoed hollowly down the empty hallway.

'Just like in high school you fell for her. To be honest Jack and I should have seen it coming. Just as Dougy should have, after all, we were there the first time.'

'I wasn't so bad,' Pacey defended knowing in a moment of self awareness that it wasn't true, 'ok so I was a total sucker for her, but have you seen her? Have you met her?'

'Come on Pace,' Jen took his hand and led him back into his apartment.

'What now?' He asked.

'We wait I guess. And hope nothing bad happens.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

And so they waited. The waiting nearly killed him, as did the incessant news watching and reading. There were moments when he'd read things that he felt hinted at something but nothing concrete ever turned up. But there was no phone call either, no one on the other end of a phone telling him she was dead. It struck Pacey as unfair that this girl from his past, this girl who was so normal, so moral and upstanding, should end up playing the bad girl. But then that was what appealed to the FBI and the cell she infiltrated. The unassuming, wide eyed innocence. Pacey now often thought of their days at school. Thought back to the deep longing and love he'd felt for her, that blinding desire that he used to further his studies when it seemed she didn't feel the same way. He remembered anew the night at Dawson's graduation party when he'd actually made a move, thinking there was no longer anything to lose.

* * *

_Pacey would never have admitted it to anybody but he was looking for Joey. Dawson was drunk and going on about how in love with Joey he was. Pacey didn't doubt it was true but was pretty certain by this point that the love Dawson was proclaiming was fairly innocent and it was only the booze causing Dawson to think it was more. Pacey knew his love wasn't innocent. His love had never been innocent. It had been good - he'd helped her and supported her. Spent hours helping to convert the B&B, secretly falling in love and longing for more, but it wasn't innocent, he knew he didn't just love her as a friend, he loved her as a whole lot more. She drove him crazy, literally crazy with her high ideals, her stupid college guys, her affection and her complete inability to realize how utterly gone for her he was. No, his love wasn't innocent. He wanted to kiss her, touch her, see her in lingerie, without it too._

_He found her sitting at the end of Dawson's dock, never one for parties, though there was an empty cup beside her. He dropped to the deck beside her and sighed, putting his beer down._

_'That's a rather large sigh for the guy that pulled off the grade turn about of the century, though I still do not understand how you managed to get into Harvard.'_

_'Apparently I have a smooth tongue and can talk the meanest of deans into seeing the world my way,' he grinned, feeling relieved to be exactly where he had wanted to be all evening - with Joey._

_'Well you sure showed everyone,' Joey gave him a look, a look that made his heart ache, a sort of sideways look, a small smile, large shiny eyes._

_'I did huh,' he gave a self deprecating chuckle._

_'I'm proud of you Pace. You did an amazing thing,' she smiled at him again._

_'Would you be less proud if I was just scraping by?' he arched his brows and she gave a pout._

_'Hmmm...never,' she answered certainly, 'you, and I mean you not your academic achievements, are a truly wonderful person. Just look at what you do for everyone around you? Look at all you've done for me! You bought me a wall!'_

_'More like rented...' Pacey interrupted._

_'Pedantic as always,' she rolled her eyes and his heart skipped a beat._

_'You want to know something Potter?' he shot her a sideways look._

_'Sure,' she was clearly enjoying the conversation._

_'All this motivation...you know where I found it?'_

_'Where?' she gave him a frown and he moved a hand and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She shivered, she actually shivered._

_'I got it from denying myself the one thing I've always wanted, the one thing I wanted but could never ever have,' he looked at her lips, then her eyes and then her lips again._

_'Which was what?' He wasn't imagining that breathless tone, and could see her eyes had softened._

_'You,' he stated simply, 'I have wanted you for such a long time now, and I told myself it was a bad idea.'_

_'Why was it a bad idea?' She frowned again and moved her hand, a small infinitesimal movement, but her finger brushed his. His whole body felt it, like she was electrically charged, his stomach swooping wildly._

_'Right now, I have no idea,' he stared at her and she gave him a wide eyed look, but then her eyes fell to his lips and so he kissed her. The one thing he'd day dreamed and fantasized about. It was tentative at first, he was just waiting for her to push him into the creek but then she gave a soft sigh and she pulled him closer, her hand at the nape of his neck. Pacey groaned and kissed her harder, but it was awkward, what with them both sat on the edge of the dock. His lips parted from hers, but then she surprised him,_

_'Pacey,' she complained and pulled him to her, laying them both back on the dock, pulling his body onto hers and kissing him more, kissing him with everything. 'You...' she kissed him 'are...' another kiss, 'an idiot...' And then she was kissing him like she'd never stop which was just fine with him - he didn't want it to ever stop. After a few minutes her words filtered into his hormone befuddled brain,_

_'Wait,' he pushed himself up on his elbows and away from her, she opened her eyes and pouted. 'I'm an idiot?'_

_'Yeah. Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you for?'_

_'How long?'_

_'Well longer subconsciously than consciously, but for at least the last year.'_

_'Why didn't you?'_

_'Why didn't you?'_

_'Dawson... And I didn't think you'd want me to.'_

_'Ditto,' and she smiled and slid her hands under his shirt._

_'We're allowed to touch under clothes now?' He gave her a sultry look and she smiled. 'Great,' he lay beside her and with infinite pleasure began tracking a path across her body and under her shirt. She looked at him, large innocent eyes, as his hand moved across her flat stomach and then over her ribs, before he felt the warm softness of her chest. She moaned a little, her teeth biting down on her lower lip and he kissed her. She responded immediately and enthusiastically so emboldened he moved to the catch of her bra until her soft pliant bare flesh was in his hand. He groaned loudly and rolled on top of her, allowing his extremely hard, hard on to press against her. She moaned and arched her hips against him. Breathing heavily he broke their kiss._

_'Are you drunk?' his eyes drank in her face, every beautiful detail of it._

_'Only a little, you?' she gave him an amused frown._

_'I've had a few beers,' he nodded._

_'Why do you ask?' she kept her fingers in the short strands of his hair._

_'Just checking you're really ok with this,' he gazed at her and she rolled her eyes._

_'Pacey, I'm ok with this,' she reassured and as if to prove a point to she pushed him to one side and stripped off her top and flung her bra across the dock before laying back down. Pacey stared at her with wide eyes, her bare chest in all it's glory laid out before him. Tentatively he reached out a hand and touched her. She moaned and he put his whole palm across her breast before lowering his head and kissing her on the recently revealed skin, on every bit if it, teasing her, loving her, enjoying her._

_'Here,' she gasped at length and tugged him up her body and pressed her lips to his, her hands shoving his shirt off of him. 'Pacey...' she kissed him, her hands smoothing across the planes of his chest._

_'Yeah,' he gave her a heavy look._

_'No sex...not this quick, but everything but. Please everything but,' she took his hand and pushing it under her skirt, pressed his fingers between her legs, causing Pacey to groan._

_'Joey,' he moaned into her neck, 'you're beautiful,' the words were a bit of a growl as one finger flicked her panties aside and played across the warmth and the wetness between her legs._

_'You're...fucking...good at this,' she arched her back as his thumb hit her clit._

_'Because I want it so damn much,' he told her._

_'You should have made a move...when did you first want to make a move?' she looked at him with lust heavy eyes, those eyes were better than truth syrum._

_'Some where around the time the B&B was done,' he pressed his lips to her throat, his fingers stepping up their dance._

_'Nearly two years we could have been doing this,' she groaned loudly and her hand pushed down the back of his jeans until she squeezed his ass._

_'I'd have fucked it up I'm sure,' he pushed his fingers into her for the first time and she cried out, but it wasn't a bad cry._

_'Oh god,' she bit her lip, 'you sure aren't fucking up now,' she closed her eyes, as he continued to move his fingers in and out of her, his thumb working magic on her clit until she came, the most beautiful sound in the world. Her orgasm was fierce and she was breathing heavily when he moved his hand from inside her and smoothed down her skirt. But instead of ending things, she just looked at him for a long moment before reaching out a pressing her hand to the front of his jeans._

_'Wow Pace, I had no idea,' she smirked at him, 'maybe I should rethink the no sex,' she gave him a positively wanton look before flicking the buckle on his belt._

* * *

They hadn't slept together but they had done everything but, well nearly. They were after all only eighteen and he knew she hadn't done more than kiss a guy. He knew that because the guy was Dawson and Dawson had told him exactly what they had done. Thinking about Dawson he grabbed his phone and dialled his friends number,

'Hey Dawson it's Pacey,' Pacey grabbed a glass of water and sat down.

'Dr Witter, to what do I owe the phone call?' Dawson sounded cheerful as ever.

'Look man we should have called you a while ago. We were told not to in the end and then when we could finally call you, well things felt to weird and it's a hard conversation to have but we need to have it...'

'Pacey you're making absolutely no sense,' Dawson chuckled.

'I found Joey,' Pacey said the words and anticipated the impact. It was no secret that Joey and Dawson were a torrid affair. Joey was Dawson's go to girl when life was tough or he was lonely. The guy meant no harm by it, but this elaborate soul mate saga had sprung from the fact that they were best friends, or had been. _When Dawson found out that Pacey and Joey had hooked up in a very intimate way at his party he'd flipped, but pretty soon he recognized that he may have been over reacting and forgave the two of them. Not that either sought his forgiveness. Pacey had taken Joey back to the True Love that night and they'd awoken without any of the awkwardness and regret that he fully expected from her. Instead she'd requested some gum which she chewed long enough to freshen her breath and then she'd kissed him again, a full on her body on top of his kind of kiss. He'd teased her, some joke about little Joey Potter and the utter goddess she'd grown into and she'd laughed, and run her hands over him musing over his own godly turns. The morning had been perfect, food, papers, talking and plenty of fooling around and then Dawson had turned up, the spell was broken, she had high tailed it out of there._

_Dawson was pretty mad. Especially mad, it seemed to Pacey, that Pacey would think to start something with Joey when they were all leaving for college in a few days. That he would take her "innocence" and her "vulnerability" and use it for sex, after all Joey didn't need saving. Pacey had remained calm, told Dawson it wasn't just sex. There were real feelings involved, at least for him. Apparently Joey said something similar to Dawson because he'd returned to Pacey's boat later that night and said that he didn't like it, but he could understand, better than Pacey knew, which basically was him alluding to his never ending feelings._

_Pacey had headed straight to the B&B to find her but bumped into her on her way to find him. She'd laughed, a proper carefree laugh and given him a flirtatious smile. Somehow his hands had taken hers and she was standing on tip toes to kiss him. She kissed him, her hands raking through his hair. Then she'd taken a step back, her eyes heavy, and unbearably sexy,_

_'Thats never going to grow old,' he tugged at her hands bringing her closer but she'd put a hand to his._

_'That was a good bye kiss,' she looked up at him, under lashes like fans and his heart had dropped._

_'Goodbye?'_

_'I'm leaving for Boston in the morning. Something came up and Bodie wants to move me up there.'_

_'Well ok...I'll be there by the weekend,' Pacey gave her a meaningful look with an optimistic arched brow._

_'Hmm you will,' her hands had squeezed his._

_'So maybe I could, I don't know, take you out for some food? I mean let's face it Potter, with the way you cook..or can't cook, you're gonna need me around.'_

_'Oh I need you Pacey,' she'd said and the way she said need had meant so many different things. His heart had raced and he'd kissed her again, and again, hands roaming. 'Lets...um...rain check,' she'd attempted in a breathless voice._

_'You want to rain check making out?' He hadn't wanted to rain check anything._

_'Yeah, I want to rain check our very public and a little embarrassing grope fest.'_

_'But why?' he couldn't comprehend any reason to stop kissing her._

_'I have to pack and Bessie wants to hang with me tonight.'_

_'So am I the first or the last person on your list?' He'd asked._

_'Huh?'_

_'Did you come and see me to say goodbye first or last out of everyone?' he pressed a kiss to her neck._

_'Last...I always save the best for last.'_

That had been the phrase that took him cockily to the Worthington campus, some chocolate hearts in his bag for her, but she hadn't been there. He called Bessie for her number but there'd been no answer from the B&B. That phrase had been just about the last thing she ever said to him before she and the rest of her family disappeared. There was enough hearsay and gossip that had all of them believe that Bessie and Bodie had moved, and Joey...she just wanted to move on. For Pacey it was immensely difficult to associate her last words to him with someone who'd just wanted to move on. Maybe that's why he never had. Maybe that's why Dawson hadn't either not really.

'I'm sorry Pace, but you need to repeat that. You said you found Joey?' Dawson sounded shocked.

'Yeah...about a month ago. It's a pretty rough story. You want it over the phone?' Pacey waited through a few moments silence.

'Of course,' Dawson said, 'she was my best friend...my soul mate.'

'I want to say up front that she and I...it's still something that would upset you.'

'Just tell me the story Pacey and we'll save the fight for her affection for another time,'

'Fair enough,' Pacey sighed. 'I found her behind a dumpster on my way to work. She had a serious head injury, she'd been stabbed and raped,' he paused but there was only stunned silence on the other end of the phone. 'Jack and I got her to the hospital in an ambulance and I did surgery on her fixing a multitude of issues. It was touch and go Dawson. She'd been given a drug...it caused hallucination and when she woke up she thought she and I were married with kids, that she'd come to college, we'd dated, all of it.'

'And what was the truth?' Dawson's voice was heavy, angry and emotional. Pacey didn't blame him.

'Joey was taken into protective custody by the FBI and then recruited to infiltrate a cell her dad was working with. Bessie, Bodie and Alex were murdered by that cell. She successfully collapsed the cell but was taken by men who got away.'

'Her family are dead?' Dawson's voice echoed down the phone. 'Alex?'

'I'm afraid so Dawson.'

'But...Mike was small time...'

'He got in with the wrong people and those people had Joey. When she finally remembered it all it turns out she was held and tortured, but she also regained their trust and she had to go back in. She stayed with me for about a couple of weeks and then she put on these clothes,' Pacey's voice cracked, 'clothes that made her look sexy, but young and innocent and she went back into the cell that tortured her, back where she was raped and beaten and stabbed...' Pacey brushed at the tears.

'Pace,' Dawson said his name softly, 'she made that decision.'

'You didn't see her when I found her. You didn't see her remember it all, bit by bit. She went back in, but only because the consequence of her staying out was to bad. I'm sorry man,' he was crying fully, 'don't you get it? Little Joey, beautiful, feisty Joey, with her heart if gold, high morals and that adorable lob sided smile? They hurt her, and raped her and killed her family...'

'I'll book a flight,' Dawson stated.

'But she's gone,' Pacey managed to say.

'To come see you,' Dawson clarified his own voice choked.

* * *

Jen, Jack, Dawson, Doug and Pacey were sat around Pacey's large farmhouse style table. The large lasagne and garlic bread, courtesy of Pacey had been eaten and the five of them were drinking wine. The mood was good despite everything. The friends hadn't all been together in six months but Dawson had arrived the day after Pacey's phone call. It was a quiet friendly atmosphere with chatting and joking which faded as they moved through to the more comfortable chairs.

'So how did she seem?' Dawson asked the room at large. At their closed off faces he pushed forward, 'we have to discuss it. We need to.'

'She was a mess Dawson. Physically at least. She pulled herself together emotionally pretty quickly, within a day or so, but she was calmest around Pacey, she was even happy around him,' Jen said shooting a glance in his direction. Pacey was meditating on his wine glass. The conversation continued, Doug and Jack together on the couch, Dawson in an armchair, Pacey leaning against the base of the armchair Jen was sat in, Bubba across his legs.

'Your dog is depressed Pacey,' Doug stated at length.

'He's pining for Joey - they bonded.'

'I don't think he's the only one,' Jen ruffled Pacey's hair, taking her hand away when her cell phone buzzed. 'Hello...oh yeah...hi...yeah. Ok...well that's great...no I'll tell them...yeah... Thanks. Do you have a number?...ok...yes...ok...' She hung up, her eyes shining,

'So that was Cortez. Apparently Joey stopped this disastrous terror plot, saved millions of lives, is a complete hero. Bad guys arrested, Joey no longer undercover, and has taken a leave of absence from the FBI.'

Pacey heard everyone break into chatter, but his heart was to loud to hear what they were saying.

'So where is she?'

'Apparently she didn't tell them where she was going. She said she would check in weekly but was going to take some personal time. This is good news Pace,' Jen hugged him.

* * *

It was good news, but Dawson left three days later and the buzz from the good news faded in the wake of no contact. Pacey went about life much as he had always done. He ran, hung out with Jen, Jack and Doug, a couple of guys from work, caught up with his sisters, and worked hard. As always he hung out with Bubba a lot. But his heart wasn't in it any more. He wanted more than the work that had once possessed him. He wanted Joey back in his life because it felt empty without her. If he was honest it had always felt empty with out her, but the little taster he'd gotten had reminded him and now there was no hiding from it. He missed her. He'd gotten Cortez's number off Jen after three weeks had passed and eventually he got the guts to call.

'Cortez,' she answered abruptly.

'Hey, this is Pacey Witter, Joey Potter's doctor.'

'And her friend,' Cortez added pointedly and Pacey smiled. The woman was growing on him.

'Yeah...so you called Jen Lindley three weeks ago. You said it was all over, only none of us have heard from Joey?' Pacey rubbed Bubba's ears.

'Doctor Witter. I don't really know what to say. Joey was pretty wrecked going back in there and I guess she needed some space once she was released from medical.'

'Ok, so no one told us she'd been injured,' Pacey frowned.

'She was shot... In the arm and stomach. She made a good recovery.'

'So why didn't you tell Jen that?'

'Because I assumed Joey would. Maybe she needs some time. Maybe she needs a fresh start. I'll be honest with you Doctor. There are times when we all need a fresh start after the things we have to see and do.'

'Can you tell her I was asking after her? When she calls to check in? Please ask her to call me,' Pacey was aware he sounded like he was begging but he wasn't above it. He remembered her words, that she was better with him.

'I'll tell her Doctor Witter.'

'Thanks.' Pacey hung up and stared at his dog who stared back at him with what seemed to be optimistic eyes. 'Sorry Bub, no news yet,' he said , the words loud in his empty apartment. The dogs ears drooped and he let out a huge huff. Doug was right, his dog was depressed, and it seemed so was he. Not depressed, Pacey didn't really do depression, but he wasn't happy. Picking up his ipad, he realized even Candy crush reminded him of Joey and that was just crappy. Some stupid game and all it made him think of was her. When the loud sound of someone knocking on the door echoed through the apartment he was relieved. Looking at the clock he realized it was probably Jack as they were supposed to be playing basketball with a few other doctors. It was a relief.

'Let yourself in Jackers, I'm just going to change,' he yelled and headed to his bedroom, Bubba barking in a way that was sure to annoy the neighbours, throwing on some shorts and a t-shirt before heading back to the living room. And there she was. Sat on the floor with his dog whining and trying to get as close to her as doggily possible. Eventually he settled for collapsing half on the floor, and half on Joey. Joey was almost as bad as the dog, her face buried in his fur. Then she turned her eyes on Pacey.

'Hi Pace,' she said quietly as if no time at all had passed. 'I think your dog missed me, huh Bubs?' she scratched his ears, 'you off out with Jack?' Again like she called through everyday.

'Um...yeah...basketball,' he walked towards her and knelt beside her and Bubba. 'You came to see me?'

'Well of course Pacey,' she gave him a little frown and smiled, 'I just needed to sort myself out first.'

'Cortez said you were shot,' he looked at her with medical scrutiny and she sighed before pulling down the black hoody she was wearing and showing him a large wound at the top of her left arm. He put his hand on it, carefully, softly, knowing there was nothing he needed or could do for it, but needing to see it all the same. He couldn't seem to move his fingers though, once the wound was examined they trailed down her arm until they wrapped around her hand.

'And here,' she breathed the words out, her eyes wide as she looked at him. She lifted her top, revealing her smooth stomach with the bullet entry wound below her ribs, above the other, smaller stab wound and other marks that he simply didn't know the origin of. He moved his other hand to that second bullet wound, his fingers checking around it, his eyes taking it and her in. The marring of such beautiful skin seemed wrong to him. His fingers caressed her ribs and then drifted to her back where he felt the evidence of a much larger exit wound. Then his hand simply stayed there. For a few moments they sat in silence - Joey sat on the floor with Bubba half on and half off of her. Pacey crouched down beside them one hand on hers, the other on her side, underneath her shirt.

'Well this is...uncomfortable, for you at least I imagine,' she said at length with a smile. 'I can never sit like that for long without giving myself pins and needles.'

'Right you are Potter,' Pacey smiled and moving his hands he stood, 'come sit on the couch? Your injuries must still hurt.'

'Like hell at times,' she admitted.

'Bubba, off Joey,' Pacey stated but the large dog merely looked at him with scornful eyes and stayed put.

'Bubs, let's move it to the couch,' Joey said to the dog and lo and behold the damn animal stood and lumbered to the couch where he stood waiting for Joey.

'Need a hand?' Pacey asked and Joey nodded,

'Two please,' she held out her hands and he took them, pulling her slowly and carefully to her feet, and then he broke, his arms wrapping around her, his face buried in her neck, tears in his eyes.

'I'm so glad you're ok. I'm so sorry I said those things, I didn't mean it like it sounded I was just trying to rationalize how I was feeling, and how much I want you and then you left. I've missed you Jo,' he kissed the material of her top.

She pushed him away slightly, a weird half frown on her face.

'How much you want me?' she sounded confused.

'You have to know Joey, surely you can tell, that the big idiot sidekick fell ass backward in love with you?' his hands trailed down her arms and took hold of her hands.

'Back in school...well I know you liked me. That was obvious after the party. I loved that party...'

'Highlight of your life I'm sure,' he said a little flirtatiously and then felt guilty at the look on her face,

'Actually yeah,' she wrinkled her nose and he realized that all that happened after that party.

'Well let's just say, all those feelings...they never really went anywhere. You are the girl for me. You always have been, you always will be.'

'No,' she shook her head. 'Maybe I'm your type but trust me I'm not the girl for you,' she winced slightly and he moved her across the room, depositing her on his couch, his dog immediately taking the large space and resting his head in her lap.

'Joey...look at me,' he knelt in front of her, his hands on her knees, his eyes imploring. Eventually her large, almond eyes looked up at him, 'I realized something when you came back. I realized there was a reason I'd never really found anyone else despite trying. If there was a room full of girls, my type in terms of looks, and personality and everything, well, none of them would do because they aren't you. There's something about you Jo. But more than that, there's something about you with me and me with you. I need you Joey.'

For a long moment she looked at him, then back down at Bubba and then eventually back at him again her eyes filled with tears, that of course she managed to hold at bay. She seemed about to speak but then of course Jack burst through the door,

'Pacey man, we're late so get your butt here now...' Jack trailed off at the sight of Joey on Pacey's couch, Pacey knelt in front of her. 'I'm sorry, I'll go...' he said immediately but Joey shook her head,

'No Jack...don't go. You guys go play your game,' she attempted to stand but between Bubba and her injuries she didn't get very far. 'Help me please Pace?' she held out her hands and he took them, but though he dropped one hand when she was finally standing, he held tight to the other.

'Seriously Jo, we don't need Pacey, he's really not that good anyway, so I can just go...' Jack looked awkwardly between the two, 'though first,' he stepped forward and gave Joey a gentle hug, reading her fragility in the way she moved, 'I'm really, really glad you're ok.'

'Thanks Jack,' she looked up at him. 'I'm going to go,' she said and looked pointedly at Pacey, 'so I'll be needing my hand,' she smiled.

'No...no...' Pacey seemed incapable of coherent thought, 'I need your contact information and I need to know you're not going to just disappear.'

'Pace...I think maybe it would be for the best...' She began but he interrupted.

'No, I know I'm just incapable of controlling my verbal angst when it comes to you, but seriously Jo, there is no pressure here. Never has been, never will be. You're my friend, remember? Years of it and just because I can't seem to stop my stupid heart wanting you, doesn't mean it should get in the way of friendship, so please don't be daft and just stay. Like Jack said, I can blow off basketball and hang out with you. Which is what I want to do.'

'Ok Pace, I'd like that,' she relented.

'See you tomorrow man, and Joey, I hope we get to see you really soon. It really is nice to see you.' And then Jack was gone.

'I was a jerk Jo, I've always been bad at reading the moment, I'm not like our good friend Dawson.'

'You mean you actually take action. That's not a bad thing Pacey,' she smirked up at him.

'Yeah, and then I push before I should.'

'Its hardly the crime of the century to tell a girl you like her,' Joey looked at him and he chuckled.

'No, but you're recovering from two gunshot wounds, a head injury, being stabbed, and well everything else.'

'Which is why it means so much more than it would if you had held back and been less...less...Pacey about it all. You knew my family so you know better than anyone what it means that they're gone. You called me a Ice Queen my entire life, so you know what it means that I was raped. You found me, and you could see what I'd been through and you could hold that up against the innocent and moralistic teenager I was. And you still want me. Believe me, there is nothing you could have said that would mean more to me than that.'

'Well good,' Pacey grinned at her. 'Can I get you a drink?'

'No thanks...can we just sit and chat?' she looked towards his couch where she so loved to sit and Pacey nodded. They sat on the couch Bubba immediately retaking his place, only this time Joey shifted her body until she was up close to Pacey, pressed against him, his arm around her, much as they had sat in the couple of days before she left again. He pressed a kiss to her hair.

'So I need to go shopping,' she stated at length.

'You do huh? Well I am so not your guy, unless you want to start dressing in Hawaiian shirts or else very skimpy clothing, in which case sure, I'll help.'

'Such a pervert,' she teased. 'But seriously, I need more than just the sweats and hoodies Jen got me. Does Jen actually still have good taste or has the cop got rid of that?'

'She dresses very nicely when she's not on duty. Do you know who her partner is?'

'Of course not,' Joey shook her head.

'My very out and proud brother, deputy Dougy,' Pacey grinned especially when Joey looked up at him with a genuine smile.

'And he's dating Jack. So funny that my imaginary world matched the real world in that one way,' she took his hand, it seemed to him, without really thinking about it. 'I love that they're together, and that they're happy.'

'Me too. To be honest, I feel a little guilty about how I used to tease Doug, especially because it turned out to be true. He says that in a way it gave him the confidence to come out, you know, knowing I wouldn't be surprised, but to me it still irks that I wasn't more supportive.'

'You and Doug bonded pretty tightly there at the end of high school, and you were a kid. A smart ass, but still just a kid,' she was playing with his fingers, entwining hers through them.

'Yeah... I guess we did bond. Over you in fact.'

'Over me?' she looked up at him in surprise.

'Yeah. Funnily enough Dougy was just about the only person I could talk to about my totally forbidden love of you. Him and Jen.'

'Jen?'

'Yeah. She and Doug used to tell me to make a move.'

'You didn't listen?' she continued her exploration of his hand.

'No...not until that night at the party. Our universe was pretty fragile back then. You and me, we both relied on Dawson and his safe world. His problems were small scale, mainly because he had two parents who loved and believed in him. You and I hung onto his coat tails and for a long time I wasn't sure you could do without him. And I was pretty sure you and I together would have had a cataclysmic effect on both of our friendships with him.'

'But I wanted you. I needed you,' Joey attempted to turn in her seat but wasn't very successful.

'You know...you said things, things that made me think that. Things that gave me hope but I couldn't do it to you. I wasn't as brave as everyone thought I was. Not when it came to you. I thought that even if you did like me back, even if the world was perfect and you loved me back, well I figured that Dawson would come between us. I didn't want to make you choose and that was a seriously weak decision.'

'Hmm,' Joey seemed to be thinking, 'no weaker than I was. I wanted the same thing and I didn't go after it. I guess I was scared too..you know of having to choose. Dawson seemed so symbolic of all we didn't have. I guess it took me longer than it should to realize that he didn't symbolize what I needed. It's a fine line.'

'What is?'

'The line between want and need. I wanted Dawson's life. I really did. I wanted the security, the love, the safety, but I never needed him, not like I needed you.'

'Needed?' Pacey asked hollowly noting her past tense.

'Look at me Pace. I'm sat so close to you I'm practically on top of you and despite my insistence that I'm no good for you, I can't seem to stop touching you.'

'That is true,' he smirked a little.

'I do want you but I also need you, but...'

'No buts Joey. That's good enough for me. I just want you to know that this is equal. I need you too.'

'Ok,' she nodded and brought his hand to her lips, kissing it softly. Pacey's heart ached at the gesture. 'Shall I tell you how I was shot?' she asked.

'Yeah...if you can.'

'Whenever you're undercover, no matter how good you are, there is always that one moment, the moment when you collapse the operation, foil the plot, save the day, that moment when they look at you and realize you tricked them. That you deceived them, and in that moment of betrayal, they'll do just about anything to hurt you. Just seconds after Cortez and the others arrived and this time everyone was arrested.'

'How badly does it hurt?' Pacey asked.

'Hmm...it's weird. It hurts but there were a few seconds where I didn't really realize what had happened. Like I felt the impact and not the pain. But it hurts badly. Different to a knife wound but kind of like you can feel your life leaving you.'

'Can we try and not have you hurt for a while? Please?' Pacey turned on the couch, so he could look at her.

'I think that's a good idea. I'm not sure I can escape death again.'

'It was a close call I imagine, with where the bullet went in?'

'Yeah,' she looked up at him and he melted.

'You should have called, you know when they released you...before.'

'I didn't want to. I needed time Pace, to sort myself out. The last time I had nothing, I was so reliant on all of you and I hated that. I mean I loved being here. This apartment is probably my favourite place in the whole world but it's awful having no where to go. So this time, I've rented myself a little place. It's a couple of blocks away. It's small but it's mine. I need some clothes too, but everything I tried on makes me feel like I'm still undercover, or else still sixteen, hence I need Jen's help.'

'She'll love helping you.'

'Good. I even bought a bike. I thought about a car and maybe I will, but for now a bike was a big purchase.'

'What about furniture? I take it you got some of that?'

'Not so much. I asked Cortez to organize a bed, but that's it. I can't do any shifting. The guys in department offered to help, but I don't know...'

'You never were very good at accepting help.'

'I accepted yours,' she pointed out.

'Yeah ok, true enough.'

'I almost got a dog, but I thought Bubba here might get jealous.'

'Oh he would have been unbearable,' Pacey grinned. 'He's been pining away for you.'

'Well I'll come and see him often,' she laughed and moving her hands from Pacey's ruffled the dogs ears. He let out a contented sigh.

'You know Potter, I think you stole my dog.'

'Stole your dog?' she frowned.

'Yeah. I think he loves you more than me.'

'Only because I spent hours on the couch with him, watching tv, messing on your ipad. I got one of those too! It really pays to have your pay backdated for years and not have spent anything. I also got a fabulous bonus.'

'I'll bet,' he laughed again, taking her hand back from the dog.

'I thought about buying a place, but that seemed like to big a step right now...though I don't know. Maybe it would be nice. I don't even have a career anymore.'

'No desire to return to the FBI?' he asked.

'I don't know, I need a break, but yeah...I suppose I was good at it. Though I'd want to be desk bound. At least for a bit. I'm so not ready or willing to go back in the field.'

'Well good. I'm not ashamed to say it. If I could wrap you in cotton wool I might consider it, except of course I know you can take care of yourself.'

'Is it all my injuries that give you that impression?' she asked amused.

'Well...no...more your personality. You've always been strong and I would never try to squash that in you, though I might want to keep you safe.'

'Well you needn't worry, if I go back I'll only do desk work at first.'

'When do they want to know?'

'I have another months leave and I need it. I'm still not physically better and I need to build a life. I was thinking of taking an art class.'

'Oh you should. They run them down at the local community centre.'

'Ok,' she smiled, 'I'll look into it but I need to work out other stuff to.'

'Like?'

'Like what music I like.'

'Terrible music I'm sure if your past taste is anything to go by,' Pacey teased.

'What clothes to wear. Make some friends, find some hobbies.'

'You have friends.'

'Who I haven't really hung out with for seven years.'

'You and I do fine,' Pacey was offended but she turned and looked at him with wide eyes but winced slightly. Bubba's ears pricked up. She looked at him despite the pain,

'You and I aren't just friends though? I mean we have all this stuff between us that just isn't there with anyone else and we can't stop touching each other,' she looked at him incredulously, turning her body to relive the soreness.

'Right,' he was taken aback by her bluntness but then spurned on by it. 'So with all this "stuff" between us...I could...kiss you?'

'Yeah you could... I guess...if you wanted to...'

'Oh I want to Potter, believe me, I really want to,' he breathed the words, his eyes staring at those lips of hers, those gorgeous, plump, inviting lips, his head tilting towards Joey and then Bubba growled at him. Pacey wasn't stupid. When a soppy dog, as gentle as Bubba growls at you, you stand back.

'Bubba,' Pacey was utterly offended.

'Bubs, it's ok,' Joey soothed. 'I like Pacey, see?' Joey reached up and wrapped her good arm under his chin and around his head, her fingers snaking through his hair. Bubba growled again when Pacey pressed a kiss to Joey's hand. 'Dont touch me, let me touch you, show him it's ok,' Joey whispered and with difficulty stood, before turning and climbing onto Pacey, a knee on either side of him.

'Woah,' Pacey gazed up at her with awed, lovesick eyes.

'Sorry, can't manoeuvre proximity any other way.'

'Don't apologize, I like it,' he put his hands to her ass, but the dog growled and he removed them.

'Just stay still,' she urged and sat down, resting herself on his lap which only served to turn him on more than he already was. His desire was clearly evident and she clearly felt it because she smirked. 'I said stay still,' she teased.

'No control over that,' he teased back.

'See Bubba, I like him,' she curled up against his chest, the dog watching them. Joey pressed a kiss to Pacey's chest and the dog looked on. Pacey moved his arms to wrap them around Joey and Bubba let out a snarl. 'No Bubba,' Joey stated. 'I like it,' she turned back to Pacey and kissed his neck, her body movEd against him making him moan. Joey looked at him with wide eyes, eyes hazy with desire that he could plainly see.

'Kiss me,' he whispered, 'please...' She bent her head towards him and their lips brushed. It felt like heaven and Pacey was beginning to lose control. He had to be able to touch her. He was going to get rid of his damn, beloved dog. Joey didn't deepen the kiss, she just kissed him softly and gently, which was an unbelievable turn on. Pacey was getting desperate, and just when he thought he'd crack she sank into him, the kiss exploding into something deep and sensual and oh so wonderful. Her moan was music to his ears and at last his damn dog seemed to get it, because he jumped off the couch and headed to his bed in the corner, apparently appeased. Pacey moved without thinking, well not coherently. He laid Joey in the space vacated by his dog and moved his body over her, somehow mindful of her injuries and he kissed her, and kissed her, and put every bit of longing into the kiss. Oh it was only a kiss, but it was a kiss he could have happily continued forever. He felt like he was fifteen again and having his first sexual experience because all he was thinking about was her lips under his, her body against his. The fact that he wanted her as badly as he did, didn't seem to matter, because the fact that he was kissing her was enough. It felt a bit like a miracle after all that had happened and all the time that had passed.

'I think we got the message through to Bubba,' Joey said at length, a warm smile on her face, her lips pressing and repressing against his neck.

'Hmmm...good, I wouldn't want to have to get rid of him.'

'You'd get rid of your dog?' Joey was aghast and he laughed,

'For you I'd consider it, but no, I think I'd just take you to my room to kiss you if he'd continued.'

'Hmmm,' she agreed, her eyes hooded. 'Good. I love Bubba.'

'I love kissing you,' Pacey informed her before kissing her again.

'Kissing you makes me want to do more than kiss you,' she gave him a look, the sort of look that in their youth had turned him on more than any other look, the look that made it clear she wanted him.

'Don't say things like that when I can't act on them,' he grumbled, his lips pressing a kiss to her boob through her clothing. She groaned,

'Then don't do things like that,' she pulled his lips back to hers and kissed him.

'But you're so beautiful,' he moaned into the kiss, his hand replacing his mouth on her chest.

'I forgot how good you are at all this,' she gasped as his fingers touched her in a way that made her libido jump.

'Hmmm...I seem to remember your fantasy world having a lot of sex in it, good sex with me, or so you said.'

'But that was fantasy and this is real.'

'You said it felt real,' he pressed his hard on against her thigh and she snuck a hand under his t-shirt.

'This feels real,' she informed him and kissed him again. And then of course, banging at the door.

'Pacey,' Doug's voice through the wood of his door. Bubba barked and so Doug tried the door. Pacey pushed himself away from Joey and into a sitting position, though he kept one hand on hers and the other on her thigh. 'Wow...ok...' Doug was stood in front of them with Gretchen. Apparently they hadn't expected to find Joey there and apparently it was obvious what the two of them had been doing. 'I can see you're busy here little brother.'

'With..Joey? Is that Joey?' Gretchen stared at Joey as if seeing things. 'Didn't you disappear off the face of the planet?'

'She came back...' Doug said, 'it's complicated sis, so let's leave these two...to...'

'Its ok Doug, stay. I didn't get to catch up with you last time,' Joey was looking at his brother with such affection that Pacey didn't mind the intrusion. 'Can you help me up please Pace?' she asked and Pacey very carefully helped her roll onto her side before helping her sit up. She winced.

'What happened Joey?' Doug stared at the girl his brother had loved for so long.

'I was shot,' she stated.

'Twice,' Pacey added, 'not to forget the stab wound and the head injury.' Doug had only been given limited information about Joey's return, mainly because they'd been ordered to tell him nothing.

'What happened?' Gretchen's face was a picture of shock, and Doug's was horrified.

'Oh it's a horrible long story - your brother here saved my life though,' she looked at Pacey with a loving expression.

'Joey works with the FBI. She's been undercover for a long, long time. That's where she went,' Pacey explained and both of his siblings wore the same expression of surprise and realization. Gretchen in particular had been pretty vocal about Joey messing with Pacey's emotions after she disappeared.

'Oh...that's why everything was so top secret with your last reappearance?' Doug stared at Joey.

'Yeah. I had to go back undercover,' Joey squeezed Pacey's hand and sat down at his table. 'Whats for dinner Pace?'

'Yeah little bro, what are you doing us for dinner?' Gretchen smirked.

'I kinda forgot...'

'Cant think why,' Doug looked pointedly at Joey and her make out hair. Joey attempted to smooth it but winced. Pacey frowned and took her hair down for her before attempting to plait it. 'How long ago were you shot?' Doug asked.

'A month I guess, but I'm still very sore. The wound in my stomach doesn't get a lot of resting.'

'I can imagine,' Doug said. 'Lets order take out. What's your favourite Joey?'

'I guess pizza? Boring but you know...'

'I love pizza,' Gretchen stated grabbing a hairbrush from her bag and pushing her brother out of the way. Removing the messy plait and then brushing Joey's hair. 'So how come you haven't aged?' Gretchen demanded.

'I have,' Joey protested, 'believe me, I'm unrecognizable from the person I was before.'

'Not true,' Pacey put in, 'of course you've changed, but in essence you're still the same.'

'Really?' Joey looked sceptical.

'You did the right thing. Stabbed...and injured like you were, recovering from amnesia, you went back undercover because they needed you, because it was the right thing.'

'I guess...' Joey bit her lip.

'And you still make me laugh. You crack silly jokes, and you're just as passionate and insecure...'

'I could do without the insecure,' Joey rolled her eyes.

'And that! The way you roll your eyes at everything. Different, but still you,' Pacey pressed a kiss to her cheek and picked up the phone to call for pizza.

'There. I'm no expert at doing other peoples hair, but I think that looks better than my brothers attempt,' Gretchen sat down pleased. 'Grab some beers Dougy,' she ordered and Joey laughed.

'You're still how I remember you,' she stated.

'And how's that?'

'Sassy, smart. Kind of how I wanted to be!'

'I work at a women's magazine, sassy and smart is kind of a prerequisite!'

'Maybe you should come shopping with Jen and me,' Joey suggested, 'I'm a blank slate in need of total reform. I literally have never chosen my clothes. I wore Bessie's hand me downs for years and then the FBI basically selected a wardrobe for me, that I had to stick to. I don't think I've been in a clothing shop for nearly seven years and even then I played it safe. I'm pretty sure it was the Gap.'

'Oh I can so help,' Gretchen slurped her beer. 'Jen and I are your girls. We'll make sure that whatever we get is you, and not us. Muggins here would probably have you looking like a hooker,' she teased.

'I would not. I like Joey however she dresses,' Pacey said simply. 'Even better is when she's not dressed at all.'

'Pervert,' Joey stuck her tongue out at him.

'Prude,' he returned the gesture.

'Wow, you two haven't changed much,' Doug smirked and Joey laughed, a beautiful sound. 'So how are your family Joey? I haven't heard anything of them for years?' Doug asked it oh so innocently and Pacey could have killed himself for not speaking to Doug and Gretchen about it all earlier. Of course he wasn't supposed to and then when she didn't return immediately he'd been moping, and worrying and spilling his guts to Jack and Jen. And of course it wasn't their stuff to tell. One thing he and his friends had always tried to be good at was not gossiping about the big things. Small stuff was fair game, but Joey and all that had happened to her was big. They'd told Dawson, had to when asked point blank, but Doug - he knew better than to ask questions in certain situations.

'Oh...you don't know,' Joey faltered for only a second, 'of course you don't. Look it's not nice, so I'll say it, we can talk about it, and then we need to move on. They were all murdered. The people I worked to put away, they did it. Well my dad, he killed Bodie and I killed the son of a bitch that murdered my sister and Alex. See horrid,' she stood abruptly, as did Bubba. 'Toilet,' she stated and headed for Pacey's bathroom.

'You should have told us,' Doug hissed, his eyes watering at the thought of his friends, at the thought of his friends child.

'I told you it was complicated.'

'Pacey that's more than complicated, that's a mess,' Gretchen began.

'No listen you guys. You have to trust me on this. Joey is good. This happened years ago and just because it's news to us, and extremely difficult for her to tell, that doesn't mean she's all fucked up, the situation is, not her.'

'Its beyond fucked up,' Gretchen corrected. 'You mean she's all alone, literally all alone? How can anyone stand that?'

'She's not alone. You guys...it wasn't the same for you guys as it was for me. Dad and I...mom and I...well my friends were everything, and in many ways the same was true for Joey, so no she's not all alone.'

'For a start your dog is in love with her.'

'And me,' Pacey said simply.

'Oh come on little bro, you can't know that,' Gretchen rolled her eyes but Pacey just shrugged.

'I was in love with her in high school, I never really fell out of love with her, and then when she came and stayed with me after she was released from hospital that first time, well I fell in love with her all over again. It sounds crazy, but I know her. She knows me. Together, we just work.'

'And what about Dawson? I seem to remember he figured up pretty high on the list of reasons why you and Joey weren't together at school?' Doug gave him a look.

'To be fair, we haven't really discussed Dawson. She wants me. She wanted me then and she wants and needs me now, and I need her. So really, what's the problem.'

'As long as you're happy, no problem here,' Gretchen shrugged, 'I like the girl and to be honest it's a bit of a relief to know you're finally going to start living your great life rather than just passing through it.'

'I was not just passing through it,' Pacey defended, but there was that look from Doug again.

'Sorry but you were, Gretchen is right. I don't think any of us really knew why, but you look about five years younger just having her here.'

'I'm happy, like really fucking happy,' Pacey admitted. 'I'm going to check she's ok and leave you two to pay for the pizza.'

Pacey wondered through the apartment and found Bubba outside the guest room where Joey had slept. He knocked on the door and then went in, like he'd done before. She was sat on the edge of the bed, not crying or anything.

'You ok?' He asked and she nodded.

'Yeah, I figured you'd need some time to convince them I'm not a total fucked up screw ball. That I'm ok for their brother.'

'You convince them of that fact just fine on your own,' he reassured her.

'Thanks.'

'Come let's go eat pizza,' he held out a hand to her which she took, but instead of walking out of the room with him she kissed him, a kiss that had him moaning into her mouth. 'Who cares about pizza,' he asked rhetorically, his hands grazing the skin at her waist, his mouth kissing her neck and then her lips again.

'Get out of the room and come eat guys,' Doug ordered in his best deputy voice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Pacey arrived home from work the following day to find Joey asleep on his couch. He laughed as he went through the shower and then went to join her.

'Hey gorgeous,' he rubbed her shoulder, the good one, until she opened her eyes and looked at him.

'Hmmmm,' she grabbed at his shirt and pulled him towards her, kissing him. 'Oh I like you all wet from the shower,' she stared at him with wanton eyes, her hands dipping down the back of his sweat pants and boxers.

'I like coming home to find you asleep on my couch,' he concurred his body lying beside her. Oh how he wanted to lie on top of her, to press against her intimately, but he'd seen the bullet wound, and so instead he lay beside her, his hand splayed on the flat of her stomach just above her black leggings.

'I was lonely and I figured Bubba was lonely,' she gave him a sunny smile.

'Jen and Gretchen are planning to take you shopping tomorrow,' Pacey told her 'and they thought they would all come back here after, with Jack and Doug and do dinner.'

'Sounds great,' she squeezed his butt and his fingers twitched. He wanted badly to touch her. Experimentally he pushed his little finger under the edge of her leggings. She stared at him, with those big eyes of hers and he moved the next finger under too. Her eyes closed and then opened again, still looking at him. He moved his hand until it was completely beneath her leggings and her panties and he could feel the warmth and the wetness and lord but he wanted to rip off all her clothes and fuck her, but that was about the last thing she needed. He ran a finger along her, gently, almost pleading and she closed her eyes and moaned. It was so reminiscent of the party at Dawson's it was killing him. He'd jerked off to the fantasy of him doing this to her enough times to already feel close. His finger ran along her again and his thumb found her clit. She groaned and pulled his lips to hers for a searing kiss and so he pushed a finger inside of her. Slowly, tentative, aware of all she'd been through.

'More,' the word was breathed between them, mixed with kisses. He obliged, pushing a second finger into her and allowing them to dance there, moving his thumb in just the right way until she came, loud and beautiful. 'I really wish I wasn't injured because there are about a million things I can think of that I'd like to do to you, and they don't involve your fingers,' she pulled his hand to her mouth and swirled her tongue around the fingers that had been inside of her.

'Fucking hell Joey,' Pacey groaned loudly, embarrassed to admit it but he came in his pants. What the fuck was she doing to him that she could make him do that.

'Did you just...' she trailed off, an amused frown on her face.

'If you tell anyone I'll...'

'You'll what?' she laughed, 'to be honest Pace I'm flattered.'

'I don't normally...you know...but it's you...and this...this is a bit of a fantasy of mine...and then you...with my fingers...' he buried his face in the nook of her neck.

'Don't worry Pace, it's a total turn on to know I don't even have to touch you to make you come.'

'In my defence you were touching me, and in a very insinuating way...'

'Big defence,' she teased looking delightfully happy.

'Look Jo...if it makes you this happy, I'm more than willing to come everyday...for your pleasure that is,' he said it very seriously and was rewarded with a mega watt smile and a hug.

'You're ridiculous Witter.'

'And you're gorgeous,' he stated, 'who can blame me if the woman of my dreams sends me a little wild.'

'If that was wild, I'm disappointed.'

'Did I say wild? That was just me getting started, don't you worry missy, I'll be making you come just by looking at you soon enough,' he informed her and she laughed again.

'Oh I can't wait for that,' she beamed at him and he chuckled.

'I think I better go shower,' he stated and she nodded.

'Pace?'

'Yeah?'

'You want to go out for dinner tonight?'

'Sure,' he nodded easily and was half way to the bathroom before he turned back. 'Did you just ask me out?' he asked and she nodded,

'Yeah...see so simple that you nearly miss it.'

'So at what point do I get to call you my girlfriend?' he asked, now lying back beside her on the couch, propped up on an elbow.

'Is that you asking me to be your girlfriend?'

'Yeah...I see what you mean, really simple.'

'Sure,' she shrugged.

'Sure you're my girlfriend or sure, it's simple.'

'Both,' she clarified.

'So I don't need to worry about..well, you know, Dawson?' he asked.

'Contrary to your thoughts on the subject, you haven't had to worry about Dawson in years. I simply don't feel about him the way I feel about you.'

'It may come as a surprise to you but I have a few...insecurity issues, when it comes to Dawson,' he looked at her and watched her smile at him. It was still hard to believe she was really there with him, lying on his couch, letting him touch her in ways he'd had to fantasize about except for one magical night and an equally magical morning.

'Listen Pacey...I want to be honest with you about Dawson and I,' she looked at him and he put his hand back on her stomach, this time with innocent intentions.

'Ok,' he couldn't help but feel nervous.

'Dawson was my best friend. He was very clearly my best friend, but don't think I didn't notice you. Oh I know we bantered, but back before we acknowledged we were friends I still noticed the things you did for me.'

'Such as?' Pacey stared at her.

'Oh, drive for a couple of hours to take me to see my dad and bribe the guard. Such as dragging me from a burning building and holding me close. Such as calling me on my infatuation with Dawson. Such as goading Dawson into taking action - you were giving me what I wanted. There were other things over the years. That kiss on my cheek when my mom died, the way you thumped Ryan Thorley for saying derogatory things about me when my dad was arrested. Those were all before the B&B. Hell, even the B&B was down to you.'

'Ok...so there were one or two things,' he admitted with a wry chuckle.

'So as I was saying. I noticed you, but yes Dawson held the title of best friend. That changed. I thought I was in love with him, but he didn't make me happy. Not once life got confusing. He just kept...missing the mark and you, you kept getting it right every time. Dawson was always safe. I knew he'd always love me, and you...you seemed so full of life, I never really knew what to expect from you, though I always knew I could rely on you. Dawson as my soulmate is a myth. I don't believe any such thing exists, and if Dawson is my soulmate? Well then the definition of soulmate does not include; can't stop thinking about them, went to have sex with them, in love with them, need them, makes you happy, makes you laugh, protects you. So you see, it was always you.'

'You want to have sex with me?' he asked, clearly teasing and she thwacked him across the head.

'Obviously,' she rolled her eyes and he laughed.

'Ok, so when Dawson comes to visit I can chill out and not get all jealous?'

'I'd really appreciate it,' she grinned. 'Now go shower. I'm hungry and apparently there's a really nice Malaysian restaurant about four blocks away and I want to try it. I also want to show you my new place, so go get rid of the evidence of my skill at turning you on.'

'Yes ma'am,' Pacey headed through to his bathroom.

'Pacey?' she called a second later.

'Yes Joey?' he poked a head out of the bathroom door.

'Nevermind,' she shook her head and he went back to the shower.

* * *

Joey's place was small and very, very empty. There was literally a bed, with a duvet and a pillow and a small bag of clothes, a bag that Jen had gotten her with the clothes and her ipad. Pacey had never really thought about the literal reality of having nothing. Of losing everything and faced with it he didn't like it one bit.

'You can't stay here, Jo. This is awful,' he shook his head.

'Thanks a lot,' she scowled.

'Not the place, the lack of you in the place,' he clarified.

'Well I told you I need to go shopping.'

'Do you have to?' Pacey asked suddenly, 'I mean...could you break the lease and just live with me? You could have the spare room, we wouldn't have to share, not if you didn't want to. Start with a room. This is too big, to much space to fill.'

'You'd really want me to live with you?' She frowned and he took her hand,

'Of course I would Joey. You're not just the girl I love but one of my best friends too. Both Bubba and I want you with us as much as humanly and doggily possible.'

'Doggily?' She laughed.

'Yeah. You know when he sits on you just to be nearer.'

'Oh I know,' she looked around her small, empty apartment.

'How about I stay with you but keep this place too? You know in case you get sick of me, or I annoy you. I can be very annoying.'

'I'm well aware,' Pacey agreed.

'Plus, making you come in your underwear all the time might get old.'

'Then I suggest I forgo underwear in your company,' he smirked and she smiled,

'I kinda walked into that one,' she admitted. 'Ok...I keep this place on, you forego underwear, kick me out when I get to annoying, deal,' she stuck out her hand.

'Deal,' he shook her hand and she grinned.

* * *

Joey, Jen and Gretchen pushed their way into Pacey's apartment without knocking. It was immediately clear they'd had a good time because Jen was laughing. Pacey, Jack and Doug looked up from their card game.

'Wow...beware of girls carrying too much shopping,' Pacey whistled. 'Is this all yours Joey?'

'Well I think one bag is Gretchen's and two are Jen's, but yeah the majority are mine.'

'Girls have a lot of clothes,' Jack stared. Pacey was just pleased to see Joey only carrying the one bag.

'Please,' she frowned at them, 'I needed underwear, socks, nightclothes, shoes, jeans, coats, leggings, skirts, boots...'

'Woah there Potter,' Pacey held up a hand, before crossing the room and kissing her. 'You got skirts? I mean...yeah you wore the occasional skirt senior year but...'

'Apparently I like skirts and boots, who knew?' she shrugged easily and gave him a flirtatious smile.

'Well the cupboard in your room is empty,' he informed her. She slid a hand under his top and under his jeans coming into contact with his bare ass.

'Pleased to feel you're sticking to the deal,' she smiled.

'What deal?' Jen was instantly interested.

'Not to wear underpants if I live here,' she informed her friend.

'Ok, so now you're annoying,' Pacey flushed red.

'I did warn you,' she smirked.

'Why shouldn't he wear underpants?' Jen looked like she knew exactly why and Pacey's cheeks burned.

'Just part of the arrangement we came to,' Joey said with a shrug.

'How are you feeling?' Pacey's asked, a hand running across the wound on her stomach.

'Surprisingly good after a day shopping. Better than yesterday. I only took a couple of painkillers this morning. I'm a little stiff I suppose, my arm really,' she rolled her shoulders.

'Whats for dinner bro?' Gretchen asked.

'I made lasagne.'

'What is that, your go to meal? I thought you were meant to be a good cook?' Gretchen asked pouring the girls some wine.

'Sorry Gretch, to busy qualifying as a doctor to focus on my culinary expertise,' Pacey grumbled, 'if you don't want lasagne...'

'Didn't say that, did I?' Gretchen grinned after catching Joey's eye.

'Sit Jo, and I'll give your shoulder a rub,' Pacey said and stood to vacate his chair, she slipped into the seat next to Jen who had also sat down. Gretchen was busy turning on the oven to heat the lasagne.

'Can I play your hand?' Joey asked and Doug and Jack immediately folded at Pacey's nod. 'Hey,' she protested.

'Sorry Jo..180 IQ means we won't win,' Jack shrugged.

'Thats discrimination,' she protested with a pout.

'Actually it's smart,' Jack ruffled Joey's hair.

'Well let's play shithead. That's all about luck and not skill.'

'Sure,' Doug nodded amiably and dealt the cards. 'Who's working tomorrow?'

'You know I am Dougy,' Jen teased her partner.

'Me,' Jack piped up.

'Same,' Pacey scowled with a mournful look at Joey.

'Ok, so just the one bottle of wine Gretch.'

'Ok, deputy Doug,' Gretchen grumbled.

'Sis...you drink to much and you wallow for the morning and work late. I drink to much and I operate on the wrong leg,' Pacey chuckled.

'I forget you're a doctor,' Joey murmured.

'You forget?' Pacey was pretty proud of that accomplishment, especially given all he abuse he took on the route to academic success.

'Oh don't be offended Pace,' Joey looked up at him with large eyes, 'I just mean you sprung it on us so near the end of senior year, and well with the end of senior year it all went south for me, so I guess I just remember you as the heart on his sleeve sailor who cooked great pancakes.'

'Hmmm...I remember that guy too,' Jen gave Pacey an affectionate look.

'Then when you rescued me, well I was kind of out of it. You were more my friend than my doctor. It's not like I forget, more like it just doesn't matter.'

'Thats funny,' Pacey laughed wryly.

'What is?' Joey asked.

'I wanted to make you proud of me. I wanted to be worthy and you really don't care.'

'Like I always said,' she looked up at him over her shoulder and he bent his head to kiss her and then kissed her some more. 'Careful Pace...there are people here,' she looked pointedly at his crotch.

'Ok, you're annoying me - out,' he pointed at the door but she just laughed.

'Oh I so know why Pacey's not wearing underpants,' Jen smirked.

'Look smart arse no one else needs to know,' Pacey grumbled.

'Don't embarrass my boy,' Joey requested and Pacey beamed at the possessive.

'Your boy is pathetic,' Jen laughed.

'So you said you'd tell me about your love life when went home?'

'Not a lot to tell.'

'Shes in love with Drue Valentine,' Jack stated and Jen glared at him.

'Drue Valentine?' Joey looked like she was searching through memories before she got it, 'Drue! Wow, I did not see that one coming.'

'Neither did I,' Jen grumbled, 'and that's the problem. You see Pacey is an obvious good guy. He's sexy, he's kind, he's bat shit crazy about you. I mean what girl wouldn't go for him. He may be annoying at times, but he's pretty damn near perfect.'

'Thanks chica,' Pacey grinned.

'Never did it for me though,' she added. 'But Drue. Drue isn't a little bit annoying, he's extremely annoying. He's not that good looking, he's an investment banker for gods sake, not something noble like a doctor, or policeman, or even something passionate like a chef. But there's just something about him...' Jen trailed off.

'So are you together?' Joey asked.

'No...he's got this girlfriend Audrey. She's nice. Fun and flirty and totally into him, and so I love from a far. I did have company in the bitter club,' she gave Pacey a scathing look but then smiled, 'though I'm truly glad that's not the case any more.'

'So how often do you see Drue?' Joey asked.

'Hardly ever,' Gretchen filled in joining them at the table. 'Drue and Jen only ever see each other at the gym.'

'Which might be enough if Audrey wasn't in the picture,' Jen frowned, 'but I don't go after other girls guys.' Joey gave her a look and Jen laughed, 'well not anymore and he wasn't technically your guy.'

'I may have overreacted,' Joey admitted and Pacey kissed her head before grabbing cutlery and plates from the kitchen.

'Smells good Pace,' Doug told his brother.

'You're a lasagne nut,' Jack kissed Doug affectionately.

'Oh god all the lovey doveyness is going to drive me crazy,' Gretchen announced.

'And me,' Jen concurred.

'Are you also in the bitter club?' Joey asked Gretchen with interest and Gretchen laughed.

'Actually no. I'm just not interested in dating at the moment.'

'Been there,' Joey shrugged.

'Not there now,' Gretchen looked pointedly at her brother.

'No,' Joey looked at Pacey, her eyes softening. Pacey loved it, loved her easy admission.

'How about we kick this lot out and I take you to bed?' he whispered in her ear, pleased with the way she flushed and looked at him.

'You can do that later,' she said easily and he flushed red this time.

'Stop whispering naughty things in Joey's ear and get dinner on the table,' Jen ordered with a knowing look.

'Sure,' Pacey ambled easily back through to the kitchen.

* * *

Pacey shut the door behind his sister, always the last to leave. It was late, later than he wanted it to be. Joey was fast asleep on the couch, her head on Bubba who clearly didn't mind.

'Hey Jo,' he knelt beside her. 'Its late.'

'Oh wow, I'm tired,' she murmured as he helped her up and guided her to the bathroom before heading to his room to change. He heard her exit the bathroom so headed in to brush his teeth and wash before heading to his room. He didn't know whether he could go in and say goodnight to her in the guest room or what. As he went into his room he laughed. She was fast asleep in his bed, which was perfect. He set his alarm and then climbed in beside her, moving across the cold bit of the bed until he was next to her, his body close to hers. He snuck a hand onto her warm stomach, smoothing the soft skin under his fingers before falling asleep himself.

* * *

The alarm shrilled loudly and he hit it with his hand turning it off, before flicking the bedside lamp on. Then he snuggled back down next to Joey. He really didn't want to get up.

'Hey Pace,' she pressed a kiss to his chest. Pacey grinned and opening his bedside drawer pulled out some mints and ate one. She grabbed one and then they were kissing, and oh it was nice to kiss her in bed. Her hands roamed his body and she tugged at him until he was lying on top of her, his hard on pressed against her through their thin pyjamas. 'That feels really good,' she moaned and slipped her hands under the waist band if his pj bottoms.

'Oh god Joey...I have to go,' his hand was sliding up under her top and grasping at her bare chest, his fingers rolling her nipple, as his hips bucked against hers.

'No...you don't,' she raised her hips against him moaning loudly.

'I have to walk the dog...shower and get to work,' he pushed off her top, kissing her exposed skin.

'I'll walk your dog,' she bit her lip and snuck a hand between their bodies and gave his cock a gentle squeeze.

'Fuck,' Pacey groaned. 'Other dog.'

'I'll walk that one too,' she grinned and pushed at his bottoms sliding them over his hips and using her foot to push them off him.

'Theres not a lot between us now Jo,' Pacey pushed his body against hers.

'Make it less,' Joey ordered and he pushed at her bottoms, his fingers running over her, into her, as he removed her clothes. He paused for a second and looked at her, naked in front of him for the first time. The scars themselves didn't bother him, didn't detract from her beauty, but how they got there, that made him mad. He wanted to love her abused body. He bent his head and kissed the bullet wound. Joey hissed but not from pain. Pacey moved his lips down her body and kissed the scar from where she was stabbed. 'Pacey,' Joey protested and tugged him up her body until he was lying between her legs. 'Put on a condom...please.'

'Are you sure?'

'Pacey,' she pleaded so endearingly that he reached into the drawer beside his bed and pulled out a condom sitting up to put it on. Joey stared at him, looking at all of him.

'Thats a little nerve wracking,' he told her and she bit her lip.

'You're very nice to look at,' she pushed herself up with a little difficulty and touched him. Pacey groaned. 'Will it fit?' she asked her hand moving up and down him, her eyes wide.

'Yes,' he pushed her back on the bed and moved back beside her, his fingers back between her legs, his mouth on hers. Then he shifted so he was between her legs. 'Are you sure?' he kissed her chin.

'Oh so sure,' she tugged at his butt, moving him up her body until he was there. He moved, just a little bit at first, using his hand to tilt her hips. He moved a little further until he was in her, his whole body poised on the edge of exploding. But he didn't move because her eyes filled with tears, tears that began to spill from the corners.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he made to move away from her but she held onto him.

'No, don't move,' she begged swiping at the tears. 'I..I was always going to cry...I should have warned you,' she took hold of his face, 'please don't stop,' she kissed him and then kissed him again, harder, willing him to respond and he did. He should have worked out that this act would be the one that brought back memories of something she didn't want to remember, that would unwittingly take her through that ordeal again. They should have waited longer, and yet she wanted it. She asked for it. Maybe it would help her heal, and so he moved just a bit, softly, slowly deliberately, at total odds to what his body wanted to do, which was claim her as his. Joey stopped kissing him and looked at him as he moved, angling his body to cause friction on her clit and she closed her eyes, a soft whisper of a moan on her lips. So he did it again, watching her teeth dig into that plump bottom lip. He lowered his mouth to her neck and kissed it, his hand moving under he ass and squeezing the soft flesh. She groaned,

'More,' she whispered the word and bit his ear, so he moved again, again creating that friction her body so wanted and this time her hips rose to meet him. He panicked slightly, realizing he might come before her, apparently slow and steady had a lot going for it. He moved again, rolling his hips a little and she cried out, her teeth sinking into his shoulder, her breathing erratic, all of which was enough for him as he let out a cry of his own. He breathed heavily, his head resting on her chest, before leaning on his elbows to look at her. He brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, leant forward and kissed the tear trails. She looked at him with those eyes of hers and he couldn't bare to move from the wonderful intimacy of being inside her. 'Thank you,' she said and he chuckled.

'My...er...very obvious pleasure?' he said and she rolled her eyes and smiled,

'For going slow, for being gentle with me.'

'Slow is actually very, very nice,' he stated.

'Nice?' she arched an eyebrow.

'Exceedingly.'

'I concur,' she said easily.

'You are really ok that we did that?' Pacey felt uneasy.

'I initiated it Pacey.'

'Its not been long since...'

'Its been long enough,' she looked away from him and he realized it was crappy to talk about her being raped when he was still effectively inside her. He kissed her.

'Really I should be saying thank you to you.'

'Really?' she looked at him again.

'You basically just made a dream come true.'

'It was a dream of yours to have sex with me?' she frowned and he grinned,

'Um yeah. Total dream, fantasy more like...'

'Well then...my rather obvious pleasure,' she stole his joke and he laughed.

'I mean it Jo...I'll admit I didn't exactly do my...best...or most prolonged work there...but literally a dream come true...'

'Pacey,' she blushed and kissed him. 'Can I be honest with you?'

'Of course,' Pacey frowned that she even asked. She bit her lip and looked down, the tinge of red still on her cheeks.

'That was my...first time,' she said and then frowned, 'voluntarily,' she added unnecessarily.

'Really?' Pacey wasn't really sure what else to say what else was there to say except of course, 'I'm sorry...I just assumed...'

'Relax there,' she put a hand on his chest, 'in what way would that have gone any differently if you had known?'

'If I'd known I was taking your virginity I might not have squeezed you in before a shower and work,' he stated and she laughed softly.

'Oh I don't think there's anyway that could have gone better for me. At least I now don't have to sit around blushing all day,' she smiled and locked her eyes with his.

'Well there is that,' he agreed.

'And I can look forward all day to a repeat - apparently anticipation is good.'

'True,' Pacey nodded, 'though I'd rather not wait. I mean have you looked at yourself lately?'

'Right back at you Witter,' she pulled him to her and kissed him. 'Now get to work and know that, however that just went...in your great experience, for me it was perfect.'

'Right back at you Potter,' he kissed her again and then gently separated his body from hers. 'Just in case, I don't know, the memo didn't get through, or somehow it all got lost in the sheer number of words I seem to speak when I'm around you, should there be any doubt, or miscommunication, I love you. Just so that's clear.'

'Its clear Pace,' she smiled at him, 'now go shower.'

'Ai ai ma'am,' he saluted her and headed out, Bubba ambling in and taking his place on the bed, only gently chided by Joey.

* * *

Pacey was literally aching to see Joey. The day was never ending. It wasn't a great day as far as being a doctor went. A patient died on the table, not through any fault he made, just one of those things. He'd had a minor disagreement with another doctor, a friend of his, over how to do another procedure. A scheduling conflict made by an admin person meant one person didn't get the operation as planned. It was just a bit of a crappy day in terms of work, but none of it could really touch him. Not after the morning with Joey. Not with her giving herself to him in the way that she had. He knew, better than he liked, what it meant for her to have sex with him. Not only was she a virgin in spirit, but she'd been raped. The fact that she'd been a virgin made her rape seem all the more horrific. Not that it should, he knew - all rape was horrific, it just made her seem more vulnerable. The thought that really made him smile was that she could look past that experience and see her first time as with him. And it had been so different to all his other sexual experiences, and so wonderfully at odds with how much passion and want he'd had. It hadn't lasted long, it hadn't been wild, or adventurous but it was probably his favourite all time experience. It had felt oh so good and it had been with her.

His bad day and all his thoughts about Joey had contributed to this dull, physical ache inside of him to be near her and he nearly shouted with glee when he finally left the building, Jack jogging along side him to keep up.

'Keen to get home or something?' Jack smiled, only to aware of why.

'Yep,' Pacey kept on walking.

'So I said I'd meet Doug at yours...' Jack began but Pacey shot him a fiery look.

'No can do,' he shook his head.

'But we arranged...'

'Nope,' Pacey reiterated.

'You know what, I get the impression you want to be alone at home with a certain girl...'

'I do,' Pacey confirmed.

'Badly,' Jack teased.

'Lets just say...this morning...things...progressed.'

'You dog,' Jack punched him in the shoulder.

'Thats the thing Jack,' Pacey stopped abruptly and caught his friend by the arm, 'I wasn't. Not at all. It was totally low key...I mean she was, you know...and before that there hadn't been anyone... But god...'

'Single best moment of your life?' Jack guessed and Pacey nodded,

'I'm a total mush monster.'

'You love the girl, what's not to be mushy about? That she wanted to do that with you, after everything...that's like the biggest compliment in the world. She must love you a lot.'

'But she didn't say it,' the niggle ripped from him.

'Huh?' Jack looked at him confused.

'I told her I loved her. Like made it really clear, didn't just talk around it, but said it and she didn't.'

'She loves you,' Jack reassured him.

'Then why not just say it?'

'Maybe she was over come with emotion? Apparently you're good with the women.'

'Please,' Pacey rolled his eyes.

'Ok being serious, maybe she was over come with emotion. She has sex for what is her first consensual time, for the first time after being raped, with this guy that she had a dream world with, after being shot twice, and stabbed, oh and forced back undercover to save the world from some huge disaster, and you tell her you love her. And knowing you, you asked for a ton of reassurance about the sexual experience never mind the fact that you've done it tons.'

'You make a valid point,' Pacey nodded. 'So I'll get some flowers, some ice cream and chocolate! Chocolate is always good,' he turned and walked away and Jack laughed.

'I'll see you tomorrow Pace. I'll call Doug and get him to meet me here.'

'Thanks Jack,' Pacey raised a hand but didn't look back.

* * *

Pacey entered his apartment with enthusiasm, his witty hello he'd been working on since the store falling from his lips at the wonderful feeling of coming home to an apartment where Joey was. She was playing music, too loud for his hello to be heard, something old school, must have been mid nineties and she was singing along with gusto in the kitchen where she was chopping something, he couldn't see what, Bubba watching her every move.

'Joey,' he yelled over the music and she looked up, her face breaking into a beautiful smile. Whilst she didn't quite run at him, she crossed the room and threw herself into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist and her lips fusing with his. Oh that kiss was what he'd needed since leaving her that morning and he just dropped the flowers he was holding, dropped the wine which thankfully didn't break, and held onto her, his hands just everywhere, as he stumbled to the couch and practically fell onto it, only just managing to control the fall so as not to hurt her.

'Pleased to see me?' he teased between kisses.

'Well I know you are,' she arched herself closer to his extremely evident desire.

'Always,' he groaned into her neck as she pushed off his coat, and threw his hat across the room, his clothes literally being removed by the girl of his dreams the second he walked through the door, evaporated all stress and pretty much all thought from him. 'You look gorgeous,' he pawed at her new top and her skirt, 'you are gorgeous,' he trailed his hands up her bare thighs as she pushed his scrubs off of him.

'I want you,' she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling his now naked body against her.

'You're wearing to many clothes,' he complained as he attempted to tug her panties off.

'Here,' she lifted her ass and let him peel them off her,

'Thats totally sexy,' he marvelled.

'I went to the doctor and got a...you know...' she moaned as his fingers found the newly naked flesh.

'Hmmm,' he was equally distracted,

'That injection...to stop babies...you know...'

'You did,' he stopped abruptly totally touched for some reason.

'Yeah...was that ok?' she looked suddenly worried.

'So sweet,' he kissed her, 'and a total fucking turn on,' he kissed her with renewed enthusiasm, his fingers beginning their skilled movements once again, her breathing getting erratic, until she came, oh so beautifully and then he moved his hand and pushed himself inside her, no barriers just him and her and she cried out but it was that good sound he remembered from high school,

'Hmmm,' was all she said and so he rolled them over, putting her on top, giving her some power.

'Oh,' she let out a gasp of surprise, her hair falling around her face above him. It was the most beautiful sight, especially when she experimented, his shy Joey, moving on him in the most glorious ways, pleasuring herself with him. He knew he better stop that line of thought before she thought he couldn't go longer than three minutes without coming. 'Is this right?' she asked biting down on the lobe of his ear.

'Very,' he groaned as she moved a little faster, took him in a little deeper, and continued to do so, until her whole body shuddered, 'Pacey,' his name a lament that was more than what he needed, bucking his hips up into her,

'Fuck,' he managed to growl as he came ridiculously hard, the curse at odds to the sentimental urge to cry. She lay on him, her lips pressed into his chest, her eyes finally opening to look at him.

'That was fun,' she said in monotone and he laughed.

'Wow, can you muster any more enthusiasm there Jo?'

'You made me come twice in ten minutes... Nope,' she closed her eyes again.

'Hmmm,' he closed his eyes.

'Food...I was making food,' she said at length and rolled off of him and carefully onto the floor.

'No,' he protested the loss of contact but she was smiling at him whilst smoothing down her skirt.

'I think I like you naked,' her eyes roved up and down him, and he felt his cock harden. 'So you like it when I look at you?' she stared some more.

'With that look in your eyes, yeah,' he admitted and stood up. 'I got you something,' he stated and kissed her before pulling away. She looked disappointed. 'Later,' he promised with a grin. 'Um...I didn't hurt you did I? Your stomach is ok?'

'I'm fine,' she reassured, 'a small twinge but that was all. The pleasure outweighed any pain there, trust me. So what did you get me?' she frowned.

'One sec,' he walked to his room naked, feeling her eyes on him the whole way, pulled on some sweats and returned to find her stood in the same place. Walking to her he took her hand, and led her to the door. 'Lilies,' he said and bent to retrieve the flowers.

'You remembered?' she looked utterly touched.

'And chocolate,' he handed her a bag of chocolate, foil covered hearts. He'd found them at the check out and remembered he'd never gotten to give her the ones he'd bought back when he went to find her at Worthington. She held them to her.

'Thank you,' she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, pressing him up against the door to kiss him more thoroughly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Three weeks later Pacey arrived home from work late, Jack, Jen and Doug all on his heels as he unlocked the apartment door. Bubba whined his hellos, sniffed them all and went back to lie in his bed.

'Time was your dog used to like me,' Jen mused.

'I guess Joey's not in,' Pacey felt himself pout and quickly altered his expression before anyone noticed.

'Busted lover boy,' Jen grinned walloping his head lightly.

'Police abuse,' Pacey defended.

'As if,' Jen sniffed dismissively and grabbing some beers from Pacey's fridge sat down on the soft seating with Jack and Doug.

'I'm gonna check her room,' Pacey headed out of the room only just catching Doug's,

'Still calling it that then...'

It was true. Joey hadn't actually used her room. She slept with him, in his room, in his bed, which was what he wanted. Her room was more of a place to store her stuff. She went in there sometimes, to do he didn't know what, and kept her clothes in there. He knocked and looked in, but it was empty. Somewhat indulgently he opened the cupboard and looked at her new clothes hanging there, saw his chocolate hearts on her dresser untouched. She wouldn't let him eat them, not that she was eating them herself. Other little traces of Joey had snuck in. A bottle of perfume, and a lipstick, a hairbrush and a small mirror. Little things, but big all the same.

'She's not here,' he told everyone as he wondered back over to them.

'Really?' Jen's sarcasm was heavy as she looked over at Bubba who was lying by the front door looking pitiful.

'And you're not much better,' Doug teased.

'Ha ha,' Pacey flopped down onto the couch and opened his beer. 'Man, tough day.'

'To true,' Doug agreed and the four of them reflected on the street shooting they'd all been involved in - Pacey and Jack at the hospital and Doug and Jen on the streets. For a few minutes they drank in silence.

'So I have news...Drue and Audrey broke up,' Jen went for a change of subject.

'Did they now?' Pacey grinned.

'Hmmm...he told me all about it this morning on our side by side treadmills.'

'So are you going to make a move?' Jack asked.

'Actually no...Joey said that if I was in love with the guy I shouldn't become rebound girl. I actually think she's right. He was bouncing all over the shop.'

'I'm hurt,' Jack frowned, 'you spoke to Joey before me?' Jack was faking so Jen merely rolled her eyes.

'Yeah I do that a lot now,' Jen narrowed her eyes and then smiled, 'I called her...she's a girl...she's impartial.'

'I forget sometimes... You know that you're a girl,' Jack teased but Jen merely tossed a cushion at him, as Bubba jumped to his feet and whined at the door. A second later Joey appeared, trailed by a tall man.

'Hey Pace, hey everyone,' she smiled but looked a little uncertain.

'Joey...and a strange man,' Jen looked at the man and smiled, he was after all attractive.

'Jerry?' Pacey stood up as Joey wrapped her arms around him.

'Hey Pacey,' Jerry nodded. 'I'll be outside Joey.' He put a hand on Joey's back but at Bubba's growl removed it before he headed back outside.

'Jerry's outside?' it was a question and Joey nodded, sitting down on the couch and pulling Pacey beside her maneuvering herself as close as possible to him.

'So...well...the FBI, they lost one of my guys. How the hell it happened is still a bit of a mystery. Apparently some information was leaked. I have my suspicions, but no evidence which I'm working on of course. Anyway, this guy got out so they called me.'

'You went in?' Pacey frowned.

'Well yeah. I'm probably target number one for this guy, I'd like to catch him as soon as possible. Plus I know him, how he thinks, all the usual...' She looked to Doug and Jen who nodded. 'So we track the bastard down and as I get there, he just starts shooting up this street, bastard didn't care what he hit, just that he caused chaos...'

'You were there? We treated people from there. You went back in the field?' Pacey had turned pale.

'This guy shot a kid Pace...I have to help them get him. Surely you can understand that?'

'But you said, after everything, that you weren't going to do that?' Pacey couldn't help himself, it just seemed so wrong.

'And what was I supposed to do, just sit around and wait for someone else to catch the guy? Just not help?'

'You could help, but from the office,' Pacey couldn't seem to stop himself persisting with this line of thought.

'It just doesn't work like that Pacey. I know this guy and I know how he thinks and thus how to get him. It was because this idiot Kimber decided to proceed before I got there that the mess that happened did.'

'But you were shot. You're still recovering and you're putting yourself right back in danger.'

'I came home to tell you, not be chastised by you,' she looked furious.

'Joey, what my idiot brother is trying to say is that he's worried,' Doug interrupted.

'No, I'm trying to say she should stay here,' Pacey glared at his brother.

'Pace, it's her job,' Jen tried to help but Pacey glared at her too.

'They hauled her into that crap when she'd just turned 18, and what now she can just never leave because the rest of them are to stupid to function without her?' Pacey realized he might be having a panic attack. His heart was racing and it felt literally painful to breathe.

'I'm not eighteen anymore,' it was Joey's turn to glare as she stood up from the couch, her hands on her hips, 'and I haven't had a dad since I was thirteen so you don't need to try and be one.'

'I'm not acting like your dad,' Pacey baulked at the notion.

'So what would you have me do?' she raised her hands in frustration, 'just pretend like the last seven years never happened? Be innocent little Joey Potter with big aspirations and limited life experience, whom you can long for from afar? I'm not sixteen anymore Pacey. I've had a life, a life independent of you for seven years. I've given time and blood to seeing these men locked away. You truly expect me to walk away now?' she was beautiful in her anger, Pacey had to admit that. Would admit that if he could only think over the pounding anger. Anger not at her, but at the possibility of losing her.

'You have to accept that when you make a decision to put yourself in the line of fire it effects me to. I love you, and those people nearly killed you twice and all those other things that happened, you can't expect me to rejoice that you're out there actively pursuing them. You said yourself they'll want to kill you. What did you say - in the moment of betrayal they'll do anything to hurt you?'

'Doug is in the line of fire, so is Jen. Hell, you and Jack are to an extent. This man is a mad man. What about all the innocent lives he might take? What about the lives he did take today?'

'At least they weren't you,' it slipped out and she stared at him.

'You can't mean that,' she shook her head, clearly at a loss, 'you can't think that.'

'To me, you're more important than anyone,' he rubbed his head making his hair stand on end, 'don't you get it? Can't somebody else do it?'

'That somebody else you're talking about...they mean to someone what I mean to you. It's not right for me to put someone less well equipped into the line of fire,' she frowned, 'I mean what if next time the cop that's shot is Jen or Doug...or if the innocent bystander is Gretchen. We're all in the line of fire Pace.'

'Don't you get it?' he repeated as he breathed in and out, slowly, methodically, willing his heart to slow, 'you said yourself you can't survive a third time. You died on me once, hell I bet you came damn close that second time...what if you actually die this time? What will I do?' he looked at her and she softened, approaching him and wrapping her still too thin frame around him.

'I'm going to be fine Pacey,' she kissed the space over his heart.

'But I'm not,' his breath was ragged. 'What if you walk out the door and that's it, the last time I ever see you? Don't you get it Joey? I can't imagine a life without you in it. I don't just love you, I need you. Me without you makes no sense. There just isn't anyone else.'

'I get it Pacey, believe me I get it. But I still have to walk out that door and you have to let me.'

'I really don't want to,' his arms were a vice around her, his lips pressed to her head. For several minutes they stood there, until she pushed him gently.

'I have to go,' she kissed that space again, the one his heart beat furiously against and then she smiled at her friends, an awkward, sad smile with an echo of goodbye, and squeezing Pacey's hand she was gone.

* * *

'What the hell happened?' Pacey looked at his friends and they all gave him annoyingly sympathetic looks. 'Is she always going to be leaving me? Am I always going to be worrying that she's dead?'

'Pace...' Doug began and Pacey stared at him, 'her job is dangerous.'

'I know that! So what?'

'I think what Doug means is, she is who she is. You fell in love with her and you wanted her, and after seven years, that's a huge part of who she is. Her entire adult life is this one operation. You said you fell in love with her all over again. If that's true then you shouldn't be trying to change her,' Jen watched the emotions flit across his face.

'You're right. It...it just feels too soon. I find her stabbed and raped and she fucking flatlines on me. I...I have her for two weeks and suddenly she's gone, reappearing with two major gunshot wounds...it's just too soon. I'm so...so...proud of her. That sounds ridiculous right? But to go in the first time took guts. To be tortured, raped and stabbed and to then go back in still recovering, to protect people who don't even know, that's fucking awe inspiring...this time? It just feels deadly. And I'm still proud that she would rather it was her and no one else but...'

'You just wish it was anybody else,' Jen filled in and he nodded.

'So do we,' Jack said, 'but in honesty, I feel a little safer knowing that she's out there trying to sort this. I understand more than you think. Doug is on the front line, Jen is...and yeah they've been pretty lucky but every time we get a report at the hospital of a cop coming in I feel sick.'

'Yeah...I bet you do, I do too,' Pacey looked at him and then stood squeezing his friends shoulder. 'I'm sorry, god I wish I hadn't yelled at her like that...'

'She knows why,' Jen dismissed his concern. 'It shows you care.'

'Still, I threw a bit of a tantrum.'

'Looked more like a panic attack from here,' Jack mused.

'I just don't know what I do now? Like, just carry on and wait again? I fucking hate waiting,' Pacey started plumping his cushions with slightly too vicious thumps.

'Yeah, you do. Look Pace, it's been a fucking shitty day without all this, so let's finish our beer, watch the game with takeout and wait together?'Doug suggested. 'Jack and I will stay here tonight. We can use the spare room.'

'It's Joey's room,' Pacey defended.

'And has she ever slept in the bed? No. Jen can take the couch and we'll be here with you, at least until work tomorrow. Trust me, she'll call you as soon as she can.'

'Ok,' Pacey nodded. 'And thanks.'

* * *

It felt like he'd only just fallen asleep. For hours he'd lain awake listening for the door, but all he heard were the occasional whines from Bubba who was waiting for Joey, just like him. At first he wondered what had woken him in the confusion of sleepiness until he realized it was his cell phone buzzing on the table. Sitting up he put it to his ear,

'Hello,' he sounded like hell.

'Pace?' she sounded far away and if he sounded like hell, she sounded worse.

'Joey, are you ok?' the words came out in a rush.

'Hmmm...yeah...so we caught him,' she still sounded funny.

'Thats good, ok great, so you can come back, and you're ok?' he clutched at the phone.

'It all got more complicated...' he could barely hear her.

'What do you mean "more complicated?"' he was pacing the room now but keeping his voice soft.

'They nearly lost him again. He... Um...well he contacted this other cell. I'd said there was a connection but I had no proof...I found...evidence...that they had access to materials...you know...' she trailed off.

'So what happened?' Pacey was kicking off his pyjamas and pulling on his clothes.

'I'm ok,' she said it again and his blood pounded through his body.

'Just tell me what happened Joey,' he sat on the edge of the bed, not even acknowledging Jen who was looking in at the door now.

'I found the guy...I tracked him to the rendezvous point. I had a team with me...but again someone didn't listen. These guys never seem to listen. He read the situation wrong... And well I got the materials...so that's good.'

'Joey, what happened to you sweetheart?' Pacey ignored Bubba who was now sat on his feet.

'There was a little while there when it was just me and them...' she trailed off.

'How long?'

'Maybe twenty minutes, just before Cortez could reorganize and get in there.'

'Ok...'

'They...weren't happy with me Pace...this one guy...you see...I think maybe we should talk in person,' she said the latter abruptly.

'Where are you?' he asked, but he kind of already knew.

'I'm in medical...at headquarters.'

'Joey...'

'I'll be ok...' she said, 'just please come in,' and she gave him the address.

* * *

Pacey arrived at the FBI headquarters just after five in the morning. He was scanned, fingerprinted and issued a visitor badge and finally Cortez appeared and led him down a network of corridors, before the familiar medical stench hit him. She was in a room by herself, small in the ridiculously large bed. She had a drip, and was clearly being given a blood transfusion, but he couldn't really see what was wrong with her besides a nasty bruise on her left cheekbone and a patch of gauze on her neck. He didn't like to think how she had got a cut there but unfortunately he could imagine. The image did nothing to quell the nausea in his stomach.

'Hey Potter,' he moved next to the bed and took her hand, then leaned forward and kissed her several times.

'Pacey,' her whole face lit up.

'Tell me why you're here,' he begged.

'Let me just look at you a second,' she stared at him for a few long moments. 'I'm sorry. Sorry I went back in. I had to...I mean I really had to, but they're dead now...so really...really it's over...'

'I shouldn't have had a go at you...I understand I do, I just panicked. I pretty much had a panic attack.'

'I'm glad you care. It makes it harder, but it feels better.'

'What happened?'

'You're a doctor, look at my chart Pace,' she flushed. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why are you sorry? You didn't do this.'

'You said I'd get hurt and I did. I don't like putting you through this. I understand if it's just too much. I do...'

'Joey, I love you. I'm not just going to walk away. Jen made a very valid point and I think it kind of proves how much I love you.'

'I'm listening,' she looked at him and he kissed her quickly.

'Back in high school, I was in love with you. It was obvious to just about everyone except maybe Dawson and you. Then you disappeared, just after it appeared you might feel sort of the same. Seven years is a long time and there were other girls. I'm not going to lie Joey. I dated and slept with other girls. I even told a couple I loved them. And I did feel for them. I did, in my own limited way, love them. The thing was, I never quite let go of you. I never loved them quite as I had loved you. I mean, you were gone. I wasn't in love with you, but I wasn't out of love with you either. I thought about you more than I should have. I thought about you when I was with those other girls. For the last couple of years I've stopped seeing the other girls, didn't really seem fair to keep dating when I really wasn't able to commit. Then I found you. And at first I was mad, and I wanted to hate you because I thought you left me, that you just hadn't wanted me. You were hurt though, and at the same time as being mad, it was just killing me to see you that way. And I couldn't stay away. You needed me, hell you thought you were married to me, and it was just wonderful and terrible and confusing.

Having you at my place, those few days, just felt so damn right. My dog loves you, and I just let my heart become yours all over again... If it ever really left in the first place. I knew what you'd been through, I knew some of who you had been for seven years. I knew what you had lost, and I fell in love with you all over again because of who you are. And this job you do, the risks you take, that is part of who you are now, so you don't ever have to be sorry, just know that sometimes I'll get mad and unreasonable but it's only because I love you, and it just kills me to think of you hurting,' he trailed off, his eyes still holding hers.

'I guess now is a good time to let you know, in case there's been any miscommunication or misunderstanding, or you know it's not been made clear, that I love you?' she was telling him she loved him and making fun of him all at the same time. Despite the fact that she was in a hospital bed Pacey laughed and gave her a huge smile.

'Good,' he smiled again, kissing her softly.

'So why I'm in here...the chart is at the end of the bed.'

'I'd rather you tell me.'

'They severed my femoral artery...you know so I would bleed out. They hit me about a bit, they um...well they cracked a rib or three, but the artery was the main problem. Cortez made it in time...I'm ok, just you know.'

'I do know,' he agreed, moving the covers away from her body and using his hands to reassure himself, assessing the bruises, gently looking at her ribs as there was no need to touch them, he could see the bruising and breaks, examining split skin and finally looking at her leg, another scar to add to her number. 'So you'll be in here a while?' he knew he must look devastated.

'Hmmm...I asked if they could transfer me to Boston General, so I'm near you and Jack. They said they'd probably be able to move me tomorrow. I hope that was ok?'

'That was ok, very ok,' he pressed his face into the crook of her neck, a little ashamed at the tears that suddenly began leaking from his eyes. He kissed her but didn't move, kissed the small undamaged part of her.

'It really is over Pacey,' she reassured holding him as tight as she could and pressing kisses to his head. 'I promise. I don't know what's ahead but for the time being it should be peaceful.'

'I'm sorry,' he looked up at her with wet eyes, 'I'm a mess. You're the one who was beaten up, who nearly died, and I'm the one in tears.'

'I know, better than most, that it's easier to die than be left behind,' she said it so calmly that for a few moments there was silence, then he nodded.

'I can see that,' and suddenly he could. Joey had been left behind by everyone. First her mother, then her father, then each member of her family followed one by one. He realized he had no clue if her father was alive or dead. Whether she'd ever had a funeral for her sister, Bodie and Alex. Joey had been left by everyone and it didn't seem so strange that she be willing to leave herself.

'I won't leave you,' he said it, testing the words really, but she looked at him with wide eyes. 'No matter what...I mean, you can leave, you can run away, but how I feel about you the fact that I'm here for you - that will always be true. In fact...I um...well I had a present for you.'

'A present?' she had a queer little frown on her face.

'Yeah, you know a gift?'

'You do?' She smiled, one of her really beautiful smiles that made her eyes shine. 'I haven't been given a gift since the wall.'

'The wall was the last gift you ever got?'

'Well that and my chocolate hearts,' she smiled sweetly and he suddenly got why she wouldn't eat them.

'This gift isn't a wall and it's not perishable,' he smiled.

'Wow,' she bit her lip. 'So hand it over.'

'You sure?' he asked, his voice teasing.

'Yes.'

'Ok. Now you won't freak out, right? This is a nice gift and I know you tend to panic in the face of kindness.'

'Ha ha,' she grinned.

'If you're sure,' he gave an exaggerated sigh and dug in his bag. He pulled out a box and looked at her. 'You're sure you want it?'

'I'm sure,' she gave him a menacing frown, so he gave her the box, which she took and opened. He watched her carefully as she stared down at the beautiful ring. It was a simple, thin gold band with a diamond shape, made up of tiny diamonds. It was beautiful like her. 'Its a ring?' she looked at him with questions in her eyes.

'Theres a chain in the box too,' he said simply.

'A ring and a chain?' she frowned slightly so Pacey took her hand.

'That ring there is a ring that says I want to marry you. I don't know whether you're ready for marriage, whether you even believe in marriage, or if you even want to marry me, but...well you're the only girl I would ever or could ever marry and I do want to marry you. The chain is because I want to let you know that but not put any pressure on you. The ring is yours because it will never be anyone else's. You wear it round your neck until you're ready to wear it on your finger. And if you're never ready to wear it on your finger? Well at least you know that there is one person who won't leave you.'

Joey stared at him and then looked at the ring. She picked it up out of the box and examined it, then she found the chain and strung it through the ring.

'Would you put it on for me?' she asked and he nodded, his steady surgeons hands fumbling with the catch as she lifted her hair and he fastened it around her neck.

'There,' his voice was gruff as he smoothed down her hair and she leant back against the bed. She picked up the ring and looked at it again. 'You...um...you like it?' he could hear the insecurity.

'I love it,' she looked up and him and dropping the ring took his hand. 'It is the best, most perfect, thoughtful gift I have ever got. Ever Pacey. I love you for getting it for me. I love you in general. And I hope...that one day it will be on my finger...not on this chain.'

'Good,' he nodded once and kissed her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It was a couple of weeks before Pacey was allowed to bring Joey home. The knife used on her leg had been dirty and her wound became infected, resulting in intravenous antibiotics and the extended hospital stay. It was a relief that she was in his hospital as both he and Jack could call through and see her regularly. It was also near Jen and Doug's regular beat. Even Gretchen took to calling through, which thrilled Pacey somehow. The more entwined Joey became with his family and their friends, the more secure it all felt and the less likely it felt that she might disappear again.

Pacey and Doug helped Joey up the stairs. She was pretty weak and her leg was still painful, as well as her ribs. As if smelling her Bubba began to howl on the other side of the door and when Pacey opened it he nearly knocked him flying. However, instead of jumping on Joey like Pacey feared, the dog, perhaps sensing Joey's fragility, just pressed himself firmly against her, licking her hand and whining.

'Hey Bubs,' she stroked his ears, 'miss me much?'

'Total pine fest,' Doug stated and Joey laughed,

'Wow, that's quite the description!'

'He and Pace here were as bad as each other,' Doug teased his brother who just whacked him on the head.

'You know Dougy, I'm not embarrassed about how much I missed Joey, because she is innately missable and I love her. And I do recall stupid amounts of moaning from you when Jack went to that conference in LA.'

'We weren't talking about me,' Doug shrugged.

'Pacey I missed you too,' Joey held his hand. 'I sleep much better with you.'

'And I with you missy,' he kissed her head.

'I'm going to leave you lovebirds to it, but I got you something Joey,' Doug rummaged in his backpack and handed her a gift bag.

'Thank you Doug,' Joey blushed as Pacey sat her on the couch, Bubba immediately monopolizing most of the available space.

'When I came here to pick up some clothes for you I noticed you were lacking any...' Doug explained as Joey pulled out a couple of picture frames. The first was a picture of her and Pacey which must have been taken a few weeks earlier. They were sat together, and Pacey was looking at her with utter adoration. Her eyes were downcast but she looked happy.

'I love it,' she smiled, 'I really love it and I love that look on his face when he looks at me.'

'I hope the other one is ok and doesn't upset you,' Doug spoke plainly as she looked at a framed photo of Bessie, Bodie, Alexander and her, taken one Christmas in Capeside. It was probably the last Christmas.

'Oh wow,' she stared at it in silence for a long time, the brothers looking on somewhat anxiously. 'I...um...remember you taking this...you drove Pacey over, your dad was drunk and being mean, and...Bessie, she asked you to take a photo of us all...then Pacey told you to take one with your camera... I remember it...' she went quiet for a moment, 'I don't have any photos of them...I don't know what happened to any of our stuff. Thank you Doug,' she stood with considerable effort and put her arms around Doug. Pacey watched Joey embrace his brother and smiled. Dougy was a good man. He walked his brother to the door a couple of minutes later and gave him a spontaneous hug,

'Thanks man.'

'No need to get sentimental on me little brother,' Doug chided.

'You did a nice thing.'

'Don't think I didn't notice that ring you've put round her neck Pacey. She's family, simple as that.'

'Thanks Doug,' Pacey said again and shut the door. He walked through the apartment and sat down next to Joey, wrapping his arm about her and pulling a throw over them. Joey sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

'That was kind of Doug.'

'He likes you...a lot,' Pacey said.

'Hmmm. What do you think happened to our stuff? I wonder if we could find out. The FBI must know something.'

'Lets get them to look into it.'

'I'd like that,' she picked up his ring and looked at it, then wrapped her hand around it. 'I miss them,' she looked at him, 'normally Bes and I would make pancakes and dissect you giving me this ring. She'd goad me, ask questions and then occasionally give me answers, though usually she'd make me work those out on my own. Alex would be ten now. I can't even imagine what he'd be like.'

'I wish things were different,' Pacey sighed.

'I do to. Not this,' she gestured between them, 'not you and me, but yeah the rest of it.'

'You remember when I found you...when you woke up and you thought we were married?'

'Yeah, I remember, not like it was reality anymore, but I remember feeling that way,' she gave him a smile.

'I kind of think that's what would have happened. If none of the other stuff had. If your dad hadn't been released, all of that. I think we'd have dated, got engaged and gotten married.'

'Yeah...I kind of think it might have too.'

'Just remember Jo, you're twenty five. You can have any life you choose. You're young, you're beautiful and you're smart, and kind, and I truly believe you can do anything.'

'Do you know what I'd really like to do?' Joey looked at him with bright eyes.

'I couldn't even hazard a guess,' Pacey smiled at her and she laughed,

'Actually you probably could. Think about me as a teenager and the answer is right there.'

'A writer!' Pacey grinned, 'that's perfect.'

'Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure what I would write...'

'Crime?' he suggested.

'Never,' she laughed, 'probably something that evidences my superior intelligence appropriately.'

'Something high brow and snobby,' Pacey chuckled.

'Terribly, I'm sure.'

'Cant wait to read it,' he threaded his fingers through hers.

'You'll be waiting a while, I can barely breathe at the moment,' she sighed only exaggerating slightly.

'I'll wait,' he shrugged, 'now what do you want for dinner? You're so thin you could actually see your rib fractures.'

'What I really want is you, but I'll settle for Thai food. If that suits you?'

'Well I'd rather you have me for dinner as well, but I guess Thai is ok.'

'Sorry I can't really do that for a while,' she blushed as she said it.

'Joey, sex with you is truly, truly fantastic, but just being with you is also truly, truly fantastic.'

'Ditto.'

'It's very nice to have you home,' he kissed her.

'Nice to be here. Now what tv show can you recommend that came out whilst I was elsewhere? Comedy please.'

'Yes ma'am,' Pacey flicked on the tv and turned it to Netflix. 'Hmmm...Raising Hope?'

'Never heard of it.'

'It's good, you start and I'll order food.'

* * *

'Hey Jo, hey Bubs,' Pacey practically skipped into his apartment the next day after a long shift at the hospital. Just knowing Joey would be there made life thoroughly good.

'Pacey,' Joey moved to the door from the kitchen where she was making a drink and wrapped her arms around him, her lips finding his.

'I got you a gift,' he practically sang. 'And it's really awesome.'

'You can't keep buying me gifts,' she chastised, but smiled all the same.

'Pish posh, I can buy you whatever I like. I love you, I have money that I work hard for. I like to spend it on you.'

'So what is it?'

'You want to write? I got you a computer to write on,' he grinned and held up the new laptop.

'Pacey,' she said is name like a term of endearment - he loved it.

'I know you might not be ready to start writing yet, but when you are, this will be here. I thought we'd get a proper desk for the spare...I mean your room, and...'

'Shut up Pace,' Joey grinned and kissed him good and proper, her hands resting on the sliver of skin between his jeans and t-shirt. 'You can call it the spare room if you want.'

'Good,' he laughed, 'so shall we go set this thing up?'

'Yes please.'

* * *

'Wow, I should never have bought you that thing. Yesterday you're greeting me with hugs and kisses at the door and today I have to search for you,' Pacey teased from the doorway of the spare room.

'Ha, ha,' she hit save and turned around in her chair. She held out a hand and he helped her up, which resulted in a kiss. He didn't think he'd ever grow tired of kissing her.

'Writing go well?'

'Actually it did. Turns out you're something of a muse for me.'

'Because our conversations are so stimulating?'

'Hmmm, yeah that,' she rolled her eyes. 'How was work for you?'

'Fairly routine today. I didn't work on any emergencies just the normal stuff.'

'You know, I find it wildly sexy that you're a surgeon?'

'That was one of the factors in choosing which field to specialize in - which I thought you'd find sexiest.'

'Ha ha.'

'True story Potter,' Pacey grinned and ran a hand under her skirt and up her thigh.

'Oh I'd love to Pace, but I'm already about to fall.'

'There's a bed right there?' he arched a brow in question.

'Hmm, good point,' she smiled and moved to the bed and lay down, 'I'm ready to be loved,' she stated and he laughed before lying on the bed beside her.

'You are, are you?'

'Yep, but totally selfishly,' she looked at him.

'Oh there's nothing selfish about loving you,' he trailed his fingers up her bare leg, but down again before he touched her between her legs. She stared at him then leaned a little further towards him and kissed him, a totally soft kiss, that just threw him. It was strange, he wanted her so badly, he always did, but when she was kissing him like that his fingers just made their own way up her thigh until he was flicking the material of her panties out the way and touching her. He wanted her underwear gone but he knew he might hurt her leg pulling them off, so he worked around the issue, pressing his thumb to her clit, doing to her with his fingers what he wanted to do with other parts of his body, and it was enough, it was absolutely enough. It was the truth, there was nothing selfish in letting him touch her. He was hard as rock, and utterly fucking happy to hear the way she moaned and the way she cried his name as she came.

Her hand touched him so suddenly, and took him by surprise that within seconds he came too, kissing her fiercely.

'That was supposed to be selfish,' he breathed.

'You better not be wearing underpants,' she snuck a hand down the back of his pants and smiled her approval.

'You know this underpants rule? I was thinking we aught to make it a household rule. I mean, I'm following it, Bubba's following it, as far as I can make out...it's only your underwear getting in the way.'

'I'll think about it.'

* * *

'Hey little miss,' Pacey trundled into the apartment stamping snow for his feet. 'How are you?'

'All the better for seeing you,' she shrugged easily and gave him a kiss.

'You seem like you're feeling better?'

'I am. My leg hasn't hurt today and my ribs only twinged when I exercised.'

'You exercised?' he looked horrified.

'If it makes you feel any better I was planning for us to have sex later?'

'You were?' he looked kind of stunned.

'Hmmm...I think you've put too many nights solo work in, though I will admit your tongue work is fantastic.'

'It is?'

'Extremely,' she gave him a flirtatious smile.

'So why later?' his hands dipped down the back of her leggings. 'Wow,' he breathed out, 'you took the house rule to heart?'

'For today,' she smiled.

'Thats seriously hot,' he pressed warm open mouthed kisses to her neck, his hands running softly up her ribs, his fingers flicking over her bare chest. 'Seriously hot,' he repeated at her lack of bra. She moaned softly as he pressed against her, more than ready to take up her offer.

'I said later Pace,' she protested with a soft groan.

'Later is over rated,' he moaned into a heated kiss.

'But I have something for you,' she protested her hands pushing off his coat, his hat, his sweater, his t-shirt.

'And I, frauline, have something for you,' he waggled his brows and moved his hands under her leggings to her bare ass.

'So I see,' she murmured as she unbuckled his jeans and pushed them down. He kicked off his shoes and his jeans.

'You have too many clothes,' he grumbled and carefully manoeuvred her leggings down her body, kissing her as he did so. She grabbed at his hair and pulled him up to her,

'I said your tongue was taking a break,' she sat on the arm of the couch and pulled him to her, pulling his body between her legs and pressing his butt against her, so he slid blissfully inside of her.

'Fucking hell Jo,' Pacey gasped and without thinking clearly bucked against her. She bit her lip and he saw the pain flash across her face. 'Shit I'm sorry,' he stood still.

'Don't be,' she held him inside her with her feet. 'Again, please...' she looked at him with those lust heavy eyes of hers and so he moved again, more carefully and she groaned, and again, and again, unable to stop himself, it felt to damn good, and those eyes, and the way she was gripping at him with her legs, fuck, but he was a gonna.

'Joey,' he moaned her name and thrust into her again, but she somehow lost her balance and fell back onto the couch taking him with her. It took him a second to realize she was laughing.

'Oh I'm so sexy,' she giggled.

'You are,' he insisted, this new position creating a whole new friction that had her gasping in moments, as she urged him ever closer.

'Harder Pace,' she begged. He complied and within minutes she cried out and bucked up into him as she came, which was such a turn on he followed her down the path of oblivion. 'Oh I've missed that,' she sighed into his shoulder, 'and I cannot wait until I'm actually well and can experiment. I bet you're fun to experiment with.'

'I love this sexually confident and gloriously naked Joey Potter,' Pacey kissed her, still holding her close.

'You can take some credit for her creation,' she informed him.

'I can?'

'Well yeah. I think I always had the potential but you...even holding back like I know you are, you're really, really good at making me feel really, really good. It's kind of addictive. You make me feel beautiful.'

'You are beautiful,' he stated.

'But I only feel that way around you.'

'Then you better stay as close to me as possible, always and forever,' he suggested easily and she grinned, her hand leaving his back and holding onto the ring around her neck.

'Hmmm,' she smiled. 'So as I was saying I have something for you...'

'Well as I've now given you the something I've been carrying around all day, I think we can move on.'

'So kind, Witter.'

'Kind is my middle name.'

'Sure it is,' she smirked. 'Um Pace...you're actually gonna have to move from on top of me.'

'But I like it here,' he lay his head on her boob.

'Cant think why,' she used her inner muscles to grip his cock and he groaned.

'You do make a delightful pillow.'

'Get off me Witter, I can't breathe,' she thwacked his head and he chuckled, rolling himself off of her and onto the floor.

'How are the ribs,' he looked down at her and then crouched down running a hand across them.

'Ok, just my leg hurt that one time when you let loose.'

'Forgot to be careful, I'm sorry.'

'I'm glad you're not entirely in control when you're with me - that would be boring.'

'Believe me, when I know I won't hurt you, it won't be boring.'

'I do believe that you know!' she grinned. 'Not that it is now of course.'

'Now I'm gonna put my clothes on - you said something about a gift?' he looked at her optimistically.

'And I thought you'd forgotten?' she smiled at him sitting up, still completely naked.

'Ok...um...clothes...' his eyes were running tracks over her body over all that skin, those hips, the short dark hair between her legs, the curve of her breasts.

'Pacey,' she chastised.

'I can't help it...you're there...naked...and...god...you're you...I wanted to see you like this for so long...and...' he leant forward and touched her, groaning loudly at how wet she was. 'I could...just...you know...for a second...' his eyes zeroed in between her legs.

'I'm sure you could,' she looked pointedly at his once again hard cock.

'Joey,' he pleaded his hands running down her thighs, then up again, one finger and then two plunging inside of her. He moved his body forward, tugging her legs until she was sat on the edge of the couch, on his knees he was just the right height. He brushed against her with his cock. 'Please,' he pushed his fingers into her again and she moaned and nodded, then his fingers were gone and he pushed into her, long, deep, hard strokes that went on and on and had her groaning and scratching at the skin on his back.

'Fuck Pacey,' she cried as she came, but he didn't stop, he kept moving, harder, deeper until she began to tremble.

'Don't stop,' she begged, and so he held on, desperate until she tugged at his hair, pulling his lips to hers and cried out again, even louder than before. With one last deep movement he came, biting down on the bit of skin where her shoulder became her neck and then kissing it.

'Thanks Jo,' he smirked at her post sex daze, as she laid back amongst the cushions, a soft smile on her face.

'Hmmm, my obvious pleasure...' She loved that line.

'Now about my gift?'

'Put your damn clothes on Pace and pass me mine before the others get here.'

'Oh, I forgot they were coming, something to do with your lack of undies I'm sure.'

'Oh I'm sure,' she smiled as she pulled on her leggings and a black t-shirt. 'I should change...'

'No, you look gorgeous as always,' he told her honestly looking at her dark brown hair, and her happy face. 'You need to eat more though,' he told her but she frowned.

'I eat what I can,' she stuck out her bottom lip.

'Sweetheart, you're perfect to me because you're you. Fat or thin or any which way. I love you. I just...I know you're thinner than that first time and you were underweight then...'

'This is not a great conversation to have just before our friends get here and when I still haven't given you your gift.'

'Seems it's never a good conversation to have,' Pacey frowned.

'Look...you see...I do try but I just feel sick when I eat to much and I'm just used to...you know...not really eating...and...'

'And?'

'I'll try Pace. It's just since the shot to my stomach...It just...well it hurts when I eat more than a small amount.'

'It hurts?' he frowned. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I didn't want you to worry. I know they saved my life, I don't expect things to be perfect. I've been messed up considerably.'

'But you shouldn't be in pain,' he sat beside her and ran his doctor hands across her stomach. It was always so different when he touched her as a doctor and not a lover. Still gentle and with just a hint of something more that wasn't there with other patients. He pressed her stomach gently around the wounds, both the bullet and the stab wound. She winced. 'When did you last eat?' he asked with clear blue eyes.

'A few hours a go,' she shrugged. 'I had an apple and some cheese.'

'Hmmm... And this hurts?' he pressed again and she winced.

'A lot...'

'You need to come in tomorrow morning. I'll get Lucy to fit you in for an ultrasound before I go into theatre and regular appointments start.'

'What do you think it is?' she frowned.

'It could be scar tissue, or maybe they closed you up and your small intestine has got a blockage. I don't really know.'

'I don't want to,' she sighed tears filling her eyes. 'I just really don't want to.'

'But Joey?' he didn't understand.

'No. I want to get better, be normal. It just never ends Pacey.'

'Oh Joey, I get that, I do, but you need to be well. You need to be able to eat.'

'I know...I just...'

'I get it I do,' he kissed her softly.

'Pace...' her voice was soft.

'Hmmm?'

'When Lucy does the ultrasound...could she um...'

'Could she what?' he encouraged, threading his fingers through hers.

'Just um...check the rest of me...you know other bits in the abdomen?'

'Would you like her to check your reproductive stuff?'

'Yeah...not that I'm saying that's what I want, but I don't want to get to wanting it if it turns out I can't have it... And with you? I get the feeling I might one day want it.'

'She can check for you Jo, but both the stab wound and bullet shouldn't have effected any of that,' Pacey wrapped an arm around her.

'But there were other things...you know, other times I was hurt and then when...when Flax raped me...' she trailed off, 'when he did that, he really hurt me. It felt like he damaged me,' she explained. The blood pounding round his body was unexpected, but he grew hot and stressed at the words. Knowing that guy had hurt her infuriated him.

'Then we'll check,' he managed to sound calm.

'Thanks,' she kissed him. 'Now can we stop talking about the depressing stuff and let me give you this gift that's going to be blown all out of proportion soon?'

'I'm ready, hand it over,' he gave her a cheeky grin flopping down beside her wearing just his jeans.

'Hmmm,' she eyed him appreciatively. 'Now I know you looked good in high school, but I don't remember you being quite so well defined,' she ran a hand over his muscles.

'Healthier lifestyle now,' he shrugged. 'Ok, seriously Potter, I'll put my shirt on, you're drooling,' he smirked, clearly chuffed.

'To quote you earlier...hmmm...god...but you're...um..'

'Oh shut up,' he whacked her with his t-shirt and then pulled it on. 'Better?'

'Much,' she used him as leverage to stand. 'Be back in a sec,' she headed off up the hall and returned a couple of minutes later carrying a box. She handed it to him and stood looking at him a little nervously, shifting from foot to foot.

'Shall I open it?'

'Please,' she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Opening the box he was surprised to see a set of keys.

'Keys?' he frowned.

'Well..I bought you...um a house. Well us a house. I saw you'd been looking at it...when I was snooping...and well...I wanted to get you something...and I didn't know what...so...um...'

'You bought us a house?' Pacey stared up at her.

'It was that house, you know near the hospital, still near your brother and Jack, Jen and Gretchen. That one with the tree in the garden and the front porch. The really pretty one. On that road opposite the park where you run sometimes. You know?' she bit her lip.

'Yeah, quiet street, beautiful wooden floors. I know the house Jo,' he stared at her.

'Did I do the wrong thing? I'm not so good at these etiquette things. I'm sorry, I can always sell it again...but...'

'A house?' Pacey was still staring at her completely uncertain what to say or do or think.

'I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. It's just you...you've done so much for me, made me feel so...so happy and, well never mind, I'll just,' she reached over and went to take the keys from him but he hung on.

'Now just a second there Potter,' he narrowed his eyes, 'you can't go giving a gift and then just take it back, that's really bad etiquette,' he tugged until she was a little nearer and then took her hand, pulling her down on his lap. 'You bought me a house sweetheart. You bought us a house?'

'It has a yard, a really nice yard for Bubba and...'

'Oh Joey honey, I love the house. I have looked and looked at that house ever since it came up for sale.'

'So you like the house. What did I do wrong?' she frowned, tears in her eyes.

'Wrong? You didn't do anything wrong you daft girl. I'm a little speechless right now. The girl of my dreams just bought us my dream house and just casually handed it over, like, here you go Pace.'

'Well it's yours really. I wouldn't want to be there without you. It's a home not a little apartment. It would be too big without you.'

'Look at me Jo,' Pacey requested and she looked at him, her eyes still teary. 'I love that you bought me a house. I love it. Don't mistake my silence and awe struck stupidity for a lack of gratitude or a lack of wanting the gift. I want it. So badly. I want a house with you, a home with you. I want my ring on your finger, that's how badly I want it. So thank you,' he kissed her, a long, hard kiss and hugged her tight. 'So when do we get to move in?'

'I snooped. Your lease is up for renewal in December and we should be able to get any work we want done by then, so I say then. If you're sure.'

'I'm so fucking sure baby. How though? That house was out of my budget. I just wanted it a lot. I decided it was just too big a risk.'

'Huge payout. They give you a lot when you give a lot,' she said simply. 'No mortgage, just ours.'

'Wow, god I love you...and not just for your financial stability of course,' he teased, 'though a Lamborghini in the garage...'

'In your dreams Witter,' she chuckled as there was a knock at the door.

'Gretchen I bet. Always first here and last to leave.'

'Hey I love your sister,' Joey admonished.

'And I want to love you,' Pacey dipped hands down the back of her leggings.

'You said later was overrated. I tried to give you gift first and then loving...'

'Well...who's a smarty pants,' he grumbled.

'You two are ridiculous. You actually need to answer the door when invited family members arrive,' Gretchen whacked Pacey around the back of the head.

'You have to just give a loud warning knock and walk in these days,' Jen appeared trailed by Doug and Jack. They all flopped onto Pacey's furniture.

'Seriously though. Do you guys just sit around entwined the whole time?' Gretchen asked kicking off her shoes and curling up in the armchair.

'No,' Joey said at the same time as Pacey answered,

'Pretty much.'

'Well...touching him makes me feel...you know grounded after the last crazy few years, so yeah we're touching but we're not just you know...'

'Doing it?' Jen filled in looking amused.

'No..of course we haven't been able to do that, not for ages...'

'Sure sounded like it when I called through the other day,' Jack rolled his eyes.

'How is our sex life up for discussion?' Joey looked at them all with wide eyes, 'sex does not always mean sex. I've already said we like to touch. And as I was trying to say, we talk a lot.'

'Actually we were talking about something extremely interesting when you burst in Gretch.'

'Are we finally allowed to acknowledge the ring?' Jen teased looking excited, even Gretchen sat up. Joey shot Jen a look.

'Who said you aren't allowed to acknowledge my beautiful ring?' she asked with a delicate little shrug.

'It's on a chain around your neck and tucked in your shirt,' Gretchen said pointedly but with a smile.

'But it's not hidden,' Joey said equally pointedly, 'and you're all free to acknowledge it.'

'So Joey, you have a very beautiful ring around your neck that Pacey gave you,' Jen stated.

'I know - it is lovely,' Joey mused.

'You know, it looks like an engagement ring,' Jack mused.

'Thats because it is an engagement ring,' Pacey rolled his eyes. His siblings and friends were so obvious.

'So if Pacey gave you an engagement ring...' Jen implied still looking at her friend. Joey shuffled on Pacey's lap mindful of her leg, until she was facing the room at large.

'So I'm going to tell you about him giving me this ring. It was the single most romantic moment of my life.'

'Do share,' Gretchen leaned forward, in fact they all did.

'I'll go get dinner started,' Pacey grumbled and shifted her to the seat beside him, standing and walking away, but then he turned to watch, everyone leaning forward to hear Joey.

'He said that the ring was mine, that it would only ever be mine because I'm the only girl he ever could or would ever want to marry. He said it was mine so I would know he would never leave me and that he wants to marry me,' she held the ring in her hand tight. Everyone flopped back in their seats,

'Wow, I have to say I did not know my brother could be so romantic,' Gretchen looked up and caught Pacey still stood there, 'good on you little bro.'

'Yeah I'm impressed,' Doug turned and looked at him as well.

'Yeah, where's your romance gene?' Jack looked at Doug.

'Wow,' Jen mused. 'Thats...that's perfect,' she too looked at Pacey. 'So why is it around your neck Joey? It's not like you don't love him, that's obvious,' Jen persisted and everyone leaned back in as Joey blushed.

'Well, when Pacey gave this to me...it was that night, when I was still in FBI medical. I'd lost just about as much blood as you can lose and still be alive, I'd been beaten and had my ribs cracked one by one with pliers,' Joey explained and when everyone winced, visibly, she flushed, 'sorry...sometimes it just comes out. Well anyway, Pacey comes in and it's just the nicest thing in the world that he's there after...well yeah, after. And he gives me the ring and my chain because he said the ring is mine whether I choose to ever wear it or not. That it's always mine and he'll never leave me, not like, well everyone else. But he said he didn't know it I wanted to marry him, or could, or anything...and so I have the chain. When I'm ready I move it to my hand.'

'And do you want to marry my brother?' Gretchen asked making Pacey wince. Gretchen sure was forthright.

'Hmmm,' Joey looked thoughtful and then rolled her eyes and smiled, 'of course,' everyone grinned, Pacey waited though because he knew there was more. 'I just...' she looked down and her eyes filled with tears which she blinked back, 'I don't know whether it's right to marry Pacey. I still have to decide if I can be...happy and normal enough for him. Around him I...I feel happy and I feel normal, but a whole life together? For him? With someone who can't barely leave the apartment now it's cold because I was practically frozen to death? When I see a knife, do you know what I think? I think about where knives have been used to hurt me. What it feels like when they cut you, or worse push it into you. I can be normal, but can I be normal enough. He's the nicest, kindest man in the world. I have to be worthy of him.'

'You know what Joey, you work on those things,' Doug said softly.

'It takes time. A lot of time, there's even a name for it.'

'Post traumatic stress syndrome, yeah I know,' Joey pushed her eyes into her hands. 'I have counselling three times a week at headquarters.'

'So you see Joey, you're already working on it. That makes you worthy, not that you wouldn't be if you weren't,' Jen stated, 'what makes you worthy is the fact that he loves you. I told you that before. If he loves you, you're worth it.'

'You are Jo,' Pacey slipped back into the seat behind her and wrapped his arms around her. 'You've always been worth it and I meant what I said, there is no pressure. That ring is yours to wear, however you want to wear it, or to not wear at all. You have to know that I'm happy. Totally happy with how things are between you and I. You don't have to conform, change or alter in any way to make me happier. Yeah, we'll work on your happiness, because that's extremely important, but you are so fucking worthy.'

'Thanks Pace,' she turned and pressed her lips to his chest, 'I don't know how come I get to have you, it doesn't make any sense, but god I'll take it,' she smiled up at him.

'Ok, so I'm beginning to think i don't know you at all,' Gretchen stared at her brother. 'You are truly good at this stuff.'

'Kids and women,' Joey smirked.

'Huh?'

'Back in school you said Pace was good with kids and women. Animals too,' Joey grinned.

'Well yeah, he's really good at it,' Gretchen arched her brows.

'I have to say dude, I like your style,' Jack smiled at Pacey.

'I aim to please you Jackers,' Pacey chuckled, as Doug stared at his brother clearly thinking. 'Anyway, before I do dinner, which is tough because the conversation in here is interesting, we did actually have news.'

'I thought it was the ring,' Jen frowned.

'We never said it was the ring,' Pacey smirked.

'Ok, we're listening,' Doug nodded.

'We're moving,' Pacey gave them a broad smile.

'Moving?' from Jen and Jack.

'What?'

'When?'

'Where?'

'December,' Pacey stated.

'Ok..spill more info and faster,' Gretchen ordered.

'Joey bought me a house,' Pacey stated proudly. 'Its just a few blocks away, near the hospital, opposite the park...'

'Large porch, wooden floors - you bought him his dream house?' Gretchen stared at Joey with a slack jaw, 'good lord Joey but you are perfect for him.'

'A house? As in a whole house?' Jen stared at them.

'The whole thing,' Pacey gave her a smug look.

'Oh I hate you,' she scowled. 'That perfect house? How jealous am I?'

'Hey I had nothing to do with it. She handed me the keys just like that,' Pacey shrugged.

'You can be my girlfriend Joey,' Jen suggested, 'the sex would be different but I can be just as sweet,' she smiled engagingly.

'I'm sure, but I'm gonna stick with this guy,' Joey flushed red.

'So Christmas at your place then,' Jack grinned. 'How relieved am I that I don't have to go home? You don't have to go home do you?' he turned to Doug.

'Well now, if I visit home between Christmas and new year we should be good.'

'I'm in,' Gretchen grinned.

'Me too, where else am I going to go?' Jen shrugged.

'Now, now...impetuous friends and siblings...I think I missed the whole invitation bit,' Pacey was cavalier.

'You're turning us away?' Gretchen placed a shocked hand on her chest, her jaw dropping, 'I'm hurt.'

'Yeah, where's the love?' Jen glared.

'And after I let you stay during school,' Doug feigned hurt.

'Of course you can all stay,' Joey punched Pacey's shoulder, 'honestly.'

'You said it's my house,' he looked at her with puppy dog eyes, 'maybe I wanted just you and me and very little clothing.'

'You're ridiculous,' she laughed and hugged him.

'So missy here says you're all invited, so I guess you're all invited, though I'm not doing all the cooking.'

'Sure you're not,' Jack laughed dismissively.

'I can have a nice word with Maria, tell her you're happy to work the holidays.'

'As if you would,' Jack glared at him.

'So now we're all having Christmas in our new place,' he loved the sound of that, 'do you guys actually have Christmas off?'

'Yep,' Jen looked at Doug. 'We arranged for Christmas off and said we'd work thanksgiving as Dawson can only make it Christmas. Remember?'

'Ok. So Dawson as well, I forgot. Good job there are four bedrooms. Wow, we have a four bedroom house,' Pacey looked at Joey who simply nodded.

'Apparently we need it.'

* * *

'Hi Joey, I'm Lucy,' the small red head with a nice face shook Joey's hand.

'Hi,' Joey shifted nervously from foot to foot and held onto Pacey's hand.

'Pacey said you're having pain in your stomach following a previous surgery. What was the surgery for?' Pacey watched Lucy appraise his girlfriend, her eyes absorbing her beautiful face, zeroing in on the ring on the chain, and ending up at her slim body.

'I was shot,' Joey never was one to mince words. 'And stabbed. The injuries are close together. I was fine before I was shot but since I um... I can't seem to eat a lot and when I do eat it hurts.'

'Going to the toilet is ok?' Lucy's eyes had widened and she'd frowned.

'Fine,' Joey shrugged but flushed a little.

'Ok, well lie on the bed and we'll take a look. Pacey asked if I could look at the whole of your abdomen?'

'I'd appreciate that. I was...um...ah...raped and I just...you know...check...'

'Of course,' Lucy said simply, looking at Pacey in surprise, a lot of questions there. Pacey stared back not really sure what Lucy was thinking.

'If you pull your t-shirt up above your bra,' she said and then as Joey did so she let out audible gasp. For a second Pacey saw Joey through professional eyes. She was covered in scars and was painfully thin. The bullet wound was small, but the stab scar was jagged and brutal. 'I'm sorry...' Lucy trailed off and then swallowed, 'ok so I think you need a gown on. I'll give you a second to change. Dr Witter can I just speak to you...I need your opinion on a scan I did yesterday and as you're here...'

'You ok?' Pacey asked Joey.

'I've put on a gown before,' she stated with a roll of her eyes and so he followed Lucy out. His friend and colleague rounded on him,

'What the hell Pacey?' she stared at him. 'You ask me to scan your girlfriend. I thought I don't know...something routine. You should have warned me...' Lucy breathed in and out, and for the second time Pacey realized that though Joey was perfect to him, perhaps others only saw the scars, the evidence of brutality, emphasized by her natural beauty.

'I'm sorry Luce...I guess, I don't see it...I didn't think.'

'What the hell happened to her?'

'She works with the FBI. She was undercover.'

'She's the girl...the one you found a few months back?'

'Yeah,' Pacey said simply.

'You knew her as kids?' Lucy looked at him. Pacey sighed. It was no real secret that Lucy had had a crush on him, but he answered her question.

'Yeah. Love of my life,' he said simply. Lucy stared at him for a moment and then nodded,

'So let's go check her out,' she pushed into the room after a quick knock. Joey was on the bed wearing a gown.

'I kept my underwear on.'

'Thats fine,' Lucy lifted up the gown and Pacey was relieved she kept a straight face. 'Ok so I'll put some gel on and we'll get started. Doctor Witter will look at the ultrasound with me and we'll see if we can work out what's causing the pain.'

'Thanks,' Joey murmured but her hand snuck out and took Pacey's.

For a few minutes the room was silent as Lucy looked through Joey's abdomen and then Pacey spoke,

'There, just back a bit...it looks like a bit of metal, maybe from the bullet,' he frowned and Lucy took pictures.

'I think you're right,' she pointed at the screen.

'Press a little harder,' he said to Lucy, 'sorry baby,' to Joey. 'Now how the hell did the FBI meds miss that?' the latter furious.

'I don't know, but we've found what's causing your pain, probably a lot of pain.'

'Jack can sort you,' Pacey kissed her, 'it'll be an operation and I know you don't want that, but that can't stay in there.'

'I trust you Pace,' she nodded. 'And Jack.'

'So I'll check everything else for you now Joey,' Lucy moved the equipment lower and again there was silence, Pacey holding her hand tighter than he had been. Lucy frowned at the screen and Joey turned her head into Pacey's stomach.

'Well what kind of mother would I have been anyway,' she whispered into Pacey's stomach. Pacey's heart was racing and he felt sick.

'Hey,' Lucy took her hand, 'not so fast,' she said softly. 'There is some damage to your left ovary. I can't really see in enough detail and I don't want to do an internal scan unless you want me to. Look, your womb, and the right ovary and Fallopian tube, they're all good. In fact perfect. So there is no reason that I can see that you can't have a child when you want to.' Pacey let out a laugh, then horrified he put a hand over his mouth,

'I'm sorry,' he brushed the hair from Joey's face and pressed a kiss to her lips, 'I guess the thought of you having my baby was a little more um...pleasing than I expected,' he kissed her again. 'I shouldn't have laughed though.'

'You're a doofus,' she muttered and kissed him back. 'Let me point out I'm not having your baby.'

'But you could and that is fucking brilliant,' he kissed her again. 'I love you.'

'So you want kids?' Joey frowned the question.

'With you, hell yeah. I happen to think you'll be an amazing mom. I mean look at your mom. I mean look at you with me, look at you with Bubba. I'm happy with just you though, if you don't want kids, but I'm not gonna lie - the idea thrills me.'

'You're really really nice,' Joey pressed her nose to his.

'Nice?' he didn't know whether to be offended or not.

'Exceedingly so,' she smirked and he remembered their first time together and grinned.

'So Joey,' Lucy interrupted again hanging up the office phone and staring at Pacey, and looking between he and Joey. 'I just spoke to Jack. He said he'll stay late and get you sorted today if you want.'

'Thank you,' Joey stared at Lucy.

'You knew Jack as well then?' Lucy asked.

'Yeah. I was his girlfriend when he came out actually,' Joey smiled.

'Wow. That's a long time then.'

'Yeah.'

'Ok, so I recommend you go home, don't eat and come back in at three. Jack has a operating room free at five.'

'Ok and thank you,' Joey smiled shyly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It was five days before Joey could go home and nearly every second was unbearable for Pacey. Jack had done a good job, as Pacey knew he would, but for some reason Joey hadn't responded well to the anesthetic, and despite the problem being fixed she had kept being sick. They only were allowing her home because she lived with Pacey who could keep an eye on her.

'Don't look so worried Pace, I feel fine,' Joey sat on his couch and smiled at him. 'I'm still in pain but it's the sort of pain that will get better, you know.'

'So why do you keep being sick?'

'I don't know, you're the doctor,' she smirked and he rolled his eyes.

'Fine,' he grumbled.

* * *

'How's it going Joey?' Gretchen sat down beside Joey deliberately taking Pacey's usual spot.

'Hmmm so, so,' Joey took the hot chocolate she was handed.

'You look like hell,' Gretchen was as blunt as ever.

'I feel like hell. I don't know what the anesthesiologist put in my anesthetic but I'm clearly allergic.'

'Surely it should have left your system by now?' Gretchen put her feet up on the coffee table.

'I don't know. Pacey thinks it's toxicity. After the blood poisoning, the intravenous antibiotics, and the various other drugs I've been on, and so on... I'm sure I'll be better soon.'

'Jacks meant to be good,' Gretchen shrugged.

'So I've heard,' Joey smiled.

'You in pain?'

'Yeah, but post surgical pain, not like I was before.'

'Good.'

'So I met this guy,' Gretchen turned in her seat. 'He's totally not my type but I just can't stop thinking about him.'

'My cue to leave,' Pacey grinned and headed to the spare room to catch up on some work absolutely loving that his sister was seeking out his girlfriend for that kind of conversation.

* * *

'Pacey,' Joey murmured. They were cuddling on the couch together a few weeks later, altogether naked except for one of his large blankets.

'What's up?' he kissed her shoulder.

'So...Cortez rang me this morning. She wants me to go in. Apparently they need me to help them find evidence for a new case they feel may be connected to the case I worked on. What should I do?'

'What's your gut feeling?' Pacey sat up properly and looked at her reminding himself not to overreact like last time, to stay calm.

'I want to help, but in all honesty I'm a little bit scared.'

'I'm not surprised Joey.'

'But I'm good at overcoming fear. With your help at times. I mean I'm scared of the cold so you got me the worlds warmest coat and I go out now. I have issues Pace, I know that, but really who wouldn't? I have problems with all sorts of things and you help me, and I'd like to do what I'm good at and help others, only what if someone hurts me again? I'm so done with being hurt.'

'No one would blame you if you never went back again, there are other ways to help, but it's got to be your decision.'

'I like writing. I love it. And I love my art class. And I love living with you, after all I love you. Hanging out with our friends is great. But...' she trailed off a small frown on her face.

'But?' Pacey suddenly felt worried.

'I don't know. I feel like I'm not quite meeting my potential. Like something is missing and I think it's doing something I love.'

'But you love writing?'

'I write for myself Pace. I would die if anyone read it. I mean...I'm 25. What am I going to do with my life?'

'Spend it loving me?' he suggested a little glibly. She gave him as stern look but then smiled,

'Well that goes without saying,' she actually giggled and ran a hand across his bare chest, 'but you work long hours Pace. That's a lot of time that I could be using my brain for the power of good. Which I guess means I want to go back, at least try it. If they promise I will be restricted to the office.'

'Well sweetheart, that's your decision and I support you one hundred percent. I might occasionally get a little angsty, throw the odd panic attack but that's because I love you not because I don't support you.'

'You really have a very nice way with words,' she kissed him.

'You really have a very nice...body,' he smirked and she whacked him with a laugh.

'We should put some clothes on and pack,' Joey looked around the half packed apartment.

'Jo, you have like three things and I don't have much more. We really are gonna have to buy some stuff.'

'I thought that might be fun,' she smiled.

'You have a strange idea of fun,' he gave her a scowl.

'Look you big baby...what shop has the nicest stuff, you know all in one place?'

'Um ikea?' he made a guess.

'But we have to construct all that,' she pouted.

'I don't mind some building.'

'Well ok, so I'll put some stuff together online from Ikea and where else, somewhere with nice stuff? I love your table, the farmhouse thing will totally work, but a dresser, you know like we had at the B&B, and I want a rocking chair. I don't care how old that makes me sound, after the last few years I want to be able to rock by the fire. Ooh we totally need a sex rug in front of the fire place.'

'You Potter, are a whirlwind. From a rocking chair to a sex rug, no wonder I love you.'

'You don't want a sex rug?'

'I want a sex rug,' Pacey confirmed, 'now I have some money but I can't just buy everything and anything we want from Pottery Barn.'

'We're going to a Pottery Barn? Bessie used to get their catalogue and then we'd hunt through thrift stores and markets to find similar stuff. It was fun. Less fun than going to pottery barn and just buying what we want.'

'Joey, honey, I want to buy you the world but I have a ton of college debt, which is going but...'

'Pacey I have so much money I don't know what to do with it and they're still paying me. We could buy the whole of Pottery Barn and I would still have money.'

'But what if you decide going back doesn't work? I don't want to eat into your savings. We can buy stuff bit by bit.'

'Pacey...I've invested a lot of money. I've had nothing else to do but check out the markets and I've put a lot of money into what seem to be fairly successful ventures. Apparently I have an aptitude for the markets because I just keep on making money.'

'Nothing to do with that IQ of yours,' Pacey chuckled, 'you know it's a damn shame you didn't have any money to invest when you were younger.'

'So true,' she sighed.

'So I have a day off on Saturday. Let's go do this shop then. But within reason. Get the basics and let the other stuff build up naturally.'

'Sure,' she grinned. 'I like that. It's nice to find an eclectic mix of stuff. I want a sleigh bed for us, an absolutely massive sleigh bed to go in that huge bedroom at the front of the house.'

'I'm so on board with that plan,' Pacey snuck a hand up her ribs and ran a finger across the underside of her boob.

'Pacey,' she protested.

'What can I say, I'm easily distracted,' he kissed her neck.

'Mheh,' she shrugged and tilted her head.

* * *

Shopping had turned out to be exceedingly good fun, but then he found lots of things were much funner when you did them with the girl you love. They didn't go crazy. Joey ordered spare beds and mattresses from ikea. Two doubles and two singles. She was going to order a desk but Pacey took her to a small store with antique furniture and bought her the desk he'd always pictured her writing at. Didn't hurt that she loved it. Pottery Barn had been expensive but exceedingly good fun. She got her rocking chair, some extra blankets, boy was the girl crazy about blankets. And they found the perfect sex rug which they'd both agreed on instantly. Joey surprised him by opting for the slightly old fashioned bed spreads rather than the ikea funky ones, but he was fine with that. As long as she was in the bed with him, he couldn't care less what was on the bedspread. They were in complete agreement about the sleigh bed and even he could see it would be fun to sleep in and fun to have fun in. He even allowed himself to picture a couple of kids opening stockings in that bed with them. That was a dangerous line of thought though. He knew that. They shopped until the car was full of bedding and bits and pieces. Things that Joey fell in love with. It was great to see her be so indulgent with herself and he could understand why. She had nothing. The fact that she was willing to buy things with him, things that were theirs and made their home, well it was huge. He felt a step closer to seeing the ring on her finger, although he still meant what he'd said. It was still enough to be with her. He wanted it, badly, but it didn't really matter, to in the scheme of things.

They got hot chocolates and sat in a little coffee shop.

'Can I tell you a secret?' Pacey entwined his fingers with hers, looking at the snowy street and then back at Joey, her eyes bright, her cheeks rosy from the cold. She had finally stopped being sick and was trying to eat more. He couldn't say she'd put on weight, but she hadn't lost any more. And she wasn't in pain, which was more important.

'You can tell me anything,' she smiled at him. God she was beautiful.

'I'm not sure how you're going to react to this.'

'I'll try to stay calm,' she mused wryly.

'I called Dawson when you came back, you know to tell him you were safe. He wanted to speak to you but you were sleeping and well...you need sleep. The thing is he's called a few times and by chance you were never there and well he wants to speak to you Jo, and I've let some petty high school insecurity get in the way of you being in touch with someone who loves you.'

'Pacey,' she frowned at him, 'why on earth wouldn't you just tell me? It's not up to you to decide who I do and don't talk to. You should have given him my cell number or just told me to ring him.'

'But you never asked about him, about calling him. In all of the talking we've done and we've done a lot, you never asked.'

'I spoke to Jen about him.'

'Well there you go...you see my mind is asking, why speak to Jen? Why not ask me? What am I missing?'

'You're so predictable Pacey. You promised me no petty misplaced jealousy about Dawson, you said you wouldn't put me through that and here you are, reading into something that just isn't there. I love you. I want you. I need you. I spoke to Jen about Dawson because you always get so uptight about him. About he and I. And I didn't even ask a lot. I asked if he was ok, if he was happy and whether or not I'd see him any time soon.'

'I can't seem to have shake this feeling that he'll always mean more to you.'

'You're an idiot then, to trust that stupid unfounded feeling and not me. Of course I'd like to see him. I actually do not want to speak to him on the phone, not at all. That would be too strange after all that's happened and all the time that has passed and it will be really strange to see him, but seven years ago I wanted you and now I want you.'

'But what if...what if when you see him...there's something there...that spark that connected you two for all those years?' he stared out at the snowy scene and not at her, his hands wringing together. God he felt like he was sixteen and in love with her.

'Again you're an idiot.'

'Please stop calling me an idiot,' he turned hurt eyes to her.

'Then please, please, stop acting like one. I lost my family in an horrifically brutal way. I was beaten, tortured and raped over a seven year period. None of that shook my feelings for you. When I saw you again, that moment in the hospital, despite that dream world my head had built, god it was a moment of sheer, utter, heart stopping relief. If after all of that it's you, why would seeing Dawson change it?'

'I don't know,' he looked down, shame burning inside of him, 'but I can't seem to shake the insecurity.'

'Then let's be one hundred percent honest. I will tell you exactly how I feel about Dawson, about seeing him, do you want to know what I'm looking forward to most about seeing Dawson?'

'Tell me,' Pacey leant back in his chair.

'The nostalgia. I'm looking forward to the nostalgia of a time before all that happened happened. Dawson is kind to me. Just like all of you, you give me the security of knowing me before and liking me after. I'm interested to find out who he is now. But there is one thing that I'm clear about. I do not want Dawson. Let's be clear I haven't wanted him since I was fifteen and I only dated him for four months. That's crazy.'

'The thing is Jo... The thing that scares me, is that he wants you. There are things he's said, that suggest he wants you.'

'Surely you're not scared of the competition? I mean surely you know there is no competition?' her jaw had dropped and she took his hand.

'If it was anyone but Dawson...' he looked down.

'Pacey look at me,' she squeezed his hand and he looked at her. For a second they stared at one another and then she let go of his hand. His heart ached but then he saw her fiddle at the back of her neck under her pony tail. He saw his ring and the necklace in her hand and he just knew she was giving it back. She'd asked him not to put her through the jealousy and he'd done just that even though she had given him no reason to worry. Tears sprang to his eyes and his body shook. She frowned slightly as his expression. 'Oh Pacey, no,' she cupped his cheek for a second and then took her hand back and pulled the ring off the chain and handed it to him. Then she held out her left hand. 'I want you to put it on me, please,' she gave him a smile, a smile he felt she reserved just for him, it was sweet and kind and loving.

'You want me to put it on you?' he echoed, the ring small in his fingers, her hand in his other hand.

'Yes I do. You have to know I want to marry you, that I want to be with you forever? I bought you a house. I wanted to make sure I could have children, to make sure I could give you what I'm sure you want. What I want when I'm with you. I only hesitated to make sure I was ok, not because I ever doubted you, that I would be happy with you, that I love you. So yes, please put that ring on my finger. Every little thing you do for me means so much, so so much and you do so many little things,' she looked at him expectantly and waggled her ring finger. With a soft, sentimental smile he pushed the ring onto her finger.

'You make me so happy,' he took her hand and kissed it. 'And it's so easy.'

'You know not every thing in life needs to be difficult or hard, sometimes it can be simple and wonderful. You taught me that. That looks a lot better,' she smiled whilst looking at her finger. Then she looked at his face. He was pretty sure he had the biggest sentimental, indulgent, happy smile on his face. 'That looks better too,' she touched his cheek. 'Now let's go look at our new house.'

'Yeah,' he still found words hard to come by. He stood dropping a twenty on the table and took her hand, her left hand so he could feel the ring, his ring, on her finger. Inside his heart thrummed, a steady happy beat. He wasn't sure he'd ever been happier.

* * *

'So in all your yearning for this place did you ever actually look around?' Joey was holding his hand and was almost walking backward in an effort to look at him as they walked up the front steps.

'Just once. I felt like a complete fraud and the lady showing it was a little taken aback - I guess I looked a bit too fresh faced for the place. It was only the doctor thing that got me through the door.'

'Well now it's your own key getting you through the door,' she handed him the key and he opened the door.

'Wow,' he murmured, 'it's as perfect as I remember.

'Its better than I remember,' Joey agreed looking at the large entry way with it's coat and shoe closet, the eclectic antique door knobs and the pale blue walls. 'Its the kitchen I love,' Joey mused as they walked into the large open plan kitchen diner.

'You who doesn't cook, loves the kitchen?' Pacey chuckled.

'I think you'd look very nice in here, cooking for me,' she smirked. 'Hmm, especially naked I think,' she pulled him toward her by his belt and began to unbuckle it, ' I think we should see how that looks.'

'How what looks?' Pacey smiled.

'You in the kitchen naked,' she answered and pushed off his jeans.

'Shoes are kinda in the way there Jo,' Pacey teased.

'Then take them off,' she told him bossily so he kicked them off and his jeans. 'Better,' she licked her lips and Pacey knew he was definitely standing to attention. She was fucking hot when she was bossy. 'Get your coat off,' she ordered and so he threw it to the floor as she pushed at his sweater and t-shirt. Then she took a step back and stared at him, all wide eyes roving up and down him. 'Looks good,' she nodded. 'You want to know what would look better?' she stared at him some more. He nodded gulping at the look in her eyes. 'You fucking me against the counter.'

'Come here then,' he could be bossy too. She stared and then shook her head and began to peel off her clothing, bit by erotic bit. By the time she was wiggling out of her panties Pacey was about ready to explode. 'Please...' the word slipped from him, more of a moan than a word and she smirked.

'Come here,' she waggled a finger and he stepped towards her. She took his hand and pushed it between her legs, plunging his finger up inside of her. She was wet and she was a total turn on. Pacey groaned,

'Oh I want you Joey,' he growled the words and then took her by the hips and turned her around kissing her neck from behind her. 'But I want you like this,' he pressed her against the counter, hearing her gasp as the cold tile touched her nipples. He raked a hand along her side and down to her hip where it snuck around the front of her and into her. 'Please,' he repeated.

'Pacey,' she moaned and so he removed his hand and pushed himself inside of her. 'Oh,' she groaned and it was awesome. She was awesome, and gorgeous and hotter than a dessert on the Fourth of July.

'This is definitely making the kitchen look a lot better,' he moved in and out of her aware that for the first time they were fucking, which was what she'd wanted, which meant she finally felt well enough to experiment. Oh he was looking forward to that. Apparently Joey had a kinky side.

'Harder Pacey,' she moaned and so he did as he was told, moving his hand to her clit and pressing kisses to her back, until he couldn't kiss her, couldn't think, couldn't do anything except listen to the sounds coming from her mouth and thrust into her harder and faster until she cried out and her body clenched around him. With one final thrust he came hard, grabbing at her hips.

'Fucking hell Joey,' he growled trailing a hand up her side, moving her away from the kitchen counter and cupping her boob. 'You're so fucking hot,' he kissed her neck and she turned to look at him, a sultry look,

'I told you the kitchen was perfect,' she smiled.

'That you did,' he agreed reluctantly separating their bodies and spinning her around, pressing her against the counter. He lowered his head and kissed her chest. 'You know what Potter, there are a ton of other rooms and I think we really aught to go see how...perfect...they are.'

'Hmmm...I think you're right. Lounge or my study first?'

'Study...you lead the way,' he smirked and pinched her ass as she walked past enjoying the sway of her hips and her beautiful butt as she walked up the stairs.

* * *

'Can we please, please go inside, it's freezing,' Jen stomped her feet beside Gretchen, Doug and Jack.

'Pacey needs a minute,' Joey grinned as they all stood on the front porch, bubba sat at Joey's feet.

'To do what?' Gretchen complained, 'you're out here, what else takes him this frickin' long?' At that moment the house lit up with hundreds of white Christmas lights.

'This,' Joey grinned as her friends gasped. Pacey grinned as he stepped onto the porch. The effect was magical in the dark frosty night.

'Wow, little brother...with all the crap you must have to sort out inside you wasted your time on this?' Doug teased.

'Cynic,' Joey scorned, 'I came home to this and it was quite the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.' Pacey smirked. That night they'd used the sex rug, oh what a good buy that was.

'Well it is beautiful I'll admit, but I'm cold now and I want to see the inside of your beautiful house and eat some of Pacey's beautiful food,' Jen wrapped her coat a little tighter.

'Pacey hasn't made any food,' Pacey grumbled.

'Then I want to eat some of the beautiful take out you must be planning to order,' Jen amended with a dazzling smile. Joey laughed.

'In then,' she ushered them all inside. Pacey knew it looked good. It looked grown up, for sure, but fresh and funky in a shabby chic kind of way. He loved it, Joey loved it and on their third night actually sleeping there they were going to tell their friends they were actually planning to get married. It was scary and grown up but it felt very right. It was grown up but it didn't feel old and he realized that at times grown up was synonymous with serious but at other times it was extremely fun.

* * *

'Well I have to say I love it. When can I move in?' Gretchen teased a little later when they were all sat in the lounge, the log fire lit, take out eaten and beers drunk.

'Dibs on the double guest room at the front for Christmas,' Doug stuck his tongue out at Gretchen.

'Is Dawson staying here?' Jen asked and Pacey nodded,

'I guess.'

'Does Dawson even know there is a here?' Jen asked and Joey snickered.

'He knows I've moved,' Pacey stated.

'In with Joey?' Jack queried.

'Yes,' Pacey defended.

'I bet that went down well,' Jen gave a frown and then a grin.

'Not as well as the ring on her finger,' Pacey quipped and then realizing what he'd done slapped his hands over his mouth, but when he looked at Joey she was laughing.

'So the ring made it to your finger,' Jen grinned at her friend and gave her a hug, 'about time too,' she added.

'Oh my god, does that mean my little brother is getting married before me? Oh I hate you Pacey,' Gretchen hugged him.

'I love you too,' he smiled.

'And you, thank god you're going to marry him. He's honestly a lot more bearable with you,' she hugged Joey and then everyone was hugging everyone, and what meant the most to Pacey was it was genuine. Just like he and Joey cared about all the little things in all of their lives, they genuinely cared about he and Joey. Jack had tears in his eyes and Doug, he had said he was proud of him. It was kind of perfect.

'Oh man, you're gonna have to tell mom and dad,' Gretchen gave him a pitying look.

'Thats going to go well,' Doug chuckled.

'I get that your parents are a little off kilter with the whole praise thing but surely they want you happy?' Jen asked.

'Hmmm...not so much,' Pacey frowned.

'Put it this way, our father puts a lot of stock in the family reputation,' Gretchen scowled.

'You mean because I'm the daughter of a con, he won't approve?' Joey's jaw dropped and to Pacey's surprise she laughed, 'how wonderfully Romeo and Juliet. I think we'll sway him with the whole FBI and saving of the world huh Pace?'

'He shouldn't have to be swayed, you're wonderful,' Pacey pulled her close to him, 'but yeah that will probably do it.'

'God, I'm gonna have to marry the president or I'll never maintain my position as favourite,' Gretchen joked.

'I'm favourite,' Doug protested.

'No I am,' Gretchen insisted.

'Actually I think your dad loves me the most,' Jack put in helpfully and the argument died which Pacey knew was because it was true.

'So when is this wedding going to be and do I get to be bridesmaid?' Jen asked and battered her lashes at Joey.

'Probably next fall, and yes, you too Gretchen, if you want. Oh...if Gretchen is a bridesmaid should I ask your other sisters? I have no idea about protocal.'

'Um I don't know?' Pacey shrugged.

'Yes,' Jack answered.

'Really?'

'When it comes to family members you have to ask, always or risk the wrath for years to come.'

'But you have three sisters and two nieces. I am not having six bridesmaids.'

'Sorry hon, we have a big family and the weddings are always ridiculously huge,' Gretchen gave her a shrug.

'Oh man. Well whilst I digest the idea of a ridiculously huge wedding how about Jen fesses up.'

'Fesses up to what?' Jack looked at his best friend who was blushing fuchsia.

'Nothing...nothing at all. Definitely not a third date with Drue.'

'So what happened to waiting?' Jack asked.

'I waited, he rebounded, I was a friend and then he asked me out,' she smiled.

'And he so loves her,' Joey added and when the others stared at her, 'I bumped into them at the gym and he can't stop looking at her. He's all of a fumble around her. He even spilled off the treadmill. It was hysterical.'

'It was hysterical,' Jen confirmed again flushing.

* * *

'Joey,' Pacey called when he came home but when Bubba plodded mournfully towards him he knew she wasn't home. 'Where is she Bubs?' Walking into his very own home never grew old. Flicking on lights it immediately felt warm and inviting, especially with the large Christmas tree he and Joey had set up the previous day.

'Lets go run Bubs, then she'll probably be home.' It was Joey's first day back at work and Pacey hated to admit that he felt sick about it. He'd been on edge all day, snapping at a nurse which resulted in Jack taking him out for lunch and words. He found it hard to control the anxiety though, and the fact that she wasn't waiting for him at home, which he knew was a totally 1950s fantasy, well he was even more worried. But he desperately wanted to show her he could deal with it so aside from a text to say he hoped it was going well he swallowed back the urge to call.

He and Bubba ran a few times around the frosty park before he jogged back up to their house, now thankfully lit up rather beautifully.

'Hey gorgeous,' he grinned at her as he arrived home. She was in the entrance way, clearly she'd just got in and switched on the lights as she was hanging up her coat. He snuck his cold hands up her shirt, evidently competing with Bubba for her attention as the dog was in the way when she yelped at the cold hands on his ribs.

'Give me room boys,' she turned and glared at them. 'You especially,' she waggled a finger at Pacey, 'how are you cold and sweaty at the same time?'

'But I've missed you,' he complained, but she ignored him and lavished affection on Bubba, that dog staring at Pacey with bragging eyes.

'Joey,' he complained and she looked up at him with those eyes of hers, her engagement ring twinkling on her finger and smiled. 'How was work? How are you?'

'Go shower, I'll start a fire and dinner and then we can talk,' she smirked and looked at him expectantly. When he didn't move she repeated, 'go,' and waved her hand at him.

He showered and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before heading downstairs. He had to admit his life was pretty damn perfect. His dog, well the dog was lying on their sex rug (less than ideal) in front of a beautiful log fire and the Christmas tree with it's twinkling lights. Walking past the lounge he found Joey in the kitchen wearing a skirt and top combo with some leggings underneath, her boots discarded at the door as per the house rule. She'd put out beers for both of them and was chopping vegetables and then tossing them into a frying pan.

'What are we making?' He asked leaning against the door jam and smiling.

'Hmm...lots of vegetables tossed in a pan with...pasta?' she arched her brows and he laughed.

'Sure, why not,' he said easily.

'Sit,' she gestured to a stool at the breakfast bar where one beer was.

'No,' he shook his head, 'I want to hug you first,' and he padded across with bare feet and wrapped his arms around her as she continued to chop. He would have been offended but she looked over her shoulder and kissed him.

'Now sit,' she ordered. He sat and watched her.

'So first day back? How was it?' he asked and she stopped chopping.

'It was ok I guess. It was nice to work with Cortez. It was a lot of data analyzing and monitoring chatter. It wasn't what I'm used to particularly but I'm pretty good at it. I found a credible link between this new threat and the last one which is good and bad.'

'Good and bad?' he felt sick again.

'Well good that I've moved things forward but I'm not crazy about the notion of people working towards a similar end goal as the enterprise I just thwarted. Thwarting it wasn't pleasant.'

'Can I ask you a question? It is and it isn't work related.'

'Of course, ask away,' she resumed chopping.

'Where's your dad?'

'My father?' she stopped chopping and looked at him again, 'that's a good question Pacey,' she bit her bottom lip for a moment, 'my dad, he's in jail until the day he dies. I haven't seen him in four years and I have no desire to ever see him again.'

'Ok,' Pacey nodded. 'You don't mind that I asked?' she shook her head, 'you and I always shared the dad thing, we even bonded over it a time or two.'

'I never mind you asking anything. I don't always enjoy answering. My dad and I used to have a good relationship. He used to be an ok person. Crappy dad in the sense that he got himself incarcerated, but I remember you telling me you thought my dad was twice the father that your dad was. And back then that was kind of true. But going away that second time changed him, for the worse obviously. His cell mate got him involved in stuff way bigger than my dad.'

'Did he come see you when he was released?' Pacey stared at her, trying to read her facial expressions but her face was blank.

'He'd been to see Bodie and Bessie. You remember Bodie wanted to get me to Boston earlier than expected, it was to avoid dad getting to me. Didn't exactly work.'

'Was he surprised to see you? You know when you made contact? Once you were undercover?'

'Oh yeah,' she smiled a little bit, 'he tried to talk me out of it, but I was making offers to good for him to refuse and then when I saved him...well that did it, I was his new best friend. Of course by then I knew about my family, what had happened to them. I guess anger fuelled my betrayal,' she shrugged.

'You seem less angry now?'

'Vengeance was mine Pace. Those that tried to kill me I killed - in self-defence don't get me wrong, and those I could arrest I did. Justice was done.'

'Sometimes it doesn't really seem that justice is enough,' Pacey stared at his beer then looked up, surprised to find her leaning across the breakfast bar toward him.

'Pace, justice has to be enough otherwise you end up as bad as them. I know today was hard for you, harder for you than me even. I know you're putting a lot of trust in a system you don't really trust, and a lot of faith where faith has been mostly destroyed, but it will get easier. The anger you feel, well when justice is done it fades. Justice has been done and your anger will go and with it your fear, but it takes time.'

'I felt sick all day,' he admitted.

'You can't control the situation Pace, you can't protect me and you've always tried to protect me. It must drive you crazy, especially given how badly things went for me. But this time is different. I refuse to go undercover, I refuse to do field work. I am probably safer than you.'

'I know,' he grumbled and stood up, walking around the breakfast bar until he could wrap his arms around her, 'i love you. Can we eat, have sex, watch some tv and cuddle?'

'You're pathetic Witter,' she teased.

'So that's a yeah?' he looked at her optimistically.

'Sounds like a great plan,' she grinned.

* * *

'Joey, where the hell did you put my phone?' Pacey grumbled coming into the bedroom.

'_I_ didn't put your phone anywhere,' she stated dismissively and continued to read.

'Correct me if I'm wrong but last night _you_ texted Jack from my phone because _you_ couldn't find your phone, and now _I'm_ late for work and _I_ can't find my phone anywhere.'

'I gave it back to you, when you were sat staring moodily at the fire and being grumpy, and if I'm not very much mistaken you're still grumpy.'

_'I_ am not grumpy, _I'm_ late and _you_ didn't give me my phone.'

'I did. I know I did because I remember that my phone was upstairs and so I borrowed yours. I didn't borrow it because I'd lost mine. I then handed it straight back. I bet if you just look by the fireplace it will be there.'

'I've looked by the _damn_ fireplace and it isn't there,' he couldn't shake the grumpiness that had set in a day or two earlier. He knew he was being a bastard, about just about everything, but he felt moodier than he had as a teenager. And just like when he was a teenager it was Dawson's damn fault.

'You want me to look for you?' Joey flicked back the covers a little impatiently and slipped on her slippers, Pacey gulped though because she was wearing just her panties and nothing else. Glaring at him, as if daring him to make a move she belted her dressing gown up tighter than Fort Knox. Grabbing his hand she marched him down the stairs and pointed to the woodpile next to where he'd been sitting the day before. Of course his damn phone was there. She looked at him, lips pursed and hands on hips. 'Now quit being so moody,' she turned on heel.

'I am not being moody,' he yelled at her retreating form and she rounded on him.

'Oh _you're_ not being moody?' she took a step closer, 'forgive me if I don't think your stoic silence, snapping over every little thing I say and do, and keeping a stupid amount of distance from me even when I'm wearing this,' she whipped open her gown and he couldn't help his eyes roving greedily over her, 'is completely normal. If I've done something wrong then tell me, don't bitch at me and make me feel like a fool for thinking this might all be real. That you and I together are really as good as I think we are,' tears sprung to her eyes and he hated himself. So Pacey did what he always did when he felt really, really bad about himself,

'I've got to go,' he ran away, heading out of the door and hearing the loud bang it made.

* * *

Jack caught up to him mid morning.

'What the hell is your problem man? You have everyone running scared.'

'Why does everyone think I have a problem?' Pacey glared at his friend.

'Because you're being a shit,' Jack told him bluntly. 'And it's not only the staff here who say so, Joey is in pieces. '

'What?' Pacey frowned.

'She rang me this morning. She hated doing it, hated being vulnerable and you did that to her. She's vulnerable because she loves you and you have her believing at long last that you love her.'

'Why do I have to fuck up?' Pacey sank to a chair.

'What are you fucking up?' Jack sat beside him.

'Its like I'm consumed...literally consumed by this fear that something is going to happen to her. I'm terrified that something is going to take her away from me.'

'You mean at work?'

'Yeah...or Dawson. It's so good with her. It's everything I've ever, ever wanted and life is just so much fun. I can't help thinking I don't deserve this, this isn't my life. I was always the underdog, the sidekick. How come I end up with the girl?'

'Geez Pace, you're not sixteen anymore and you're certainly not the underdog. If anything you're an over achiever,' Pacey frowned, 'yeah I said it. And do you know why you're such a success?' Jack looked at his best friend.

'Why?'

'Because you're a nice guy, because you care.'

'So why does Dawson amplify every fear I have about losing her?' Pacey stared at his friend and for a few moments Jack thought about it,

'I think Dawson simply makes you feel sixteen again, or seventeen, or even thirteen. Back before you took your longing for Joey and turned it toward academic success, back when you were to an extent the sidekick, well in your mind. Funnily enough I don't think Joey ever saw you that way. I didn't, Jen didn't and I know Andie didn't. Dawson, sure in the Joey and Dawson saga, you were the sidekick, but you never seem to get it through your thick skull that even back then she wanted you. Back before academic success, back when you used to joke about being a gas attended, she wanted you. The Dawson and Joey saga is one of friendship with an experimentation in dating. The saga of Pacey and Joey? Well that's an epic love story.' Jack stopped talking and leant back in his chair. Pacey breathed deep a view times, trying to kill the guilt as he let Jack's words sink in.

'I don't think I've ever thought about it quite like that.'

'Well you should. Look I'll cover rounds for you. You should go home and see your girl. She's pretty upset.'

'I'm an idiot.'

'You are an idiot, but luckily she loves you. She didn't put that ring on her finger lightly. She spent a lot of time thinking it over, talking to the rest of us. Look at me  
Pace,' Jack touched his friends shoulder and he looked up at him, 'she loves you. Now go. Quick as you can.'

'Thanks,' Pacey grabbed Jack and gave him a squeeze before pelting out into the snow wearing just his scrubs, heck it was only seven blocks which at a run would take him five minutes tops. He sprinted as fast as he good until he reached the park and turned up their street. Slowing to a jog he breathed great lungfuls of air in. Jogging up the steps he threw open the door. Joey was sat on the bottom step, pretty much where he'd left her a couple of hours earlier. She looked up as he whirlwinded into the house and then stood, uncertainly. She was biting her lip, her eyes not quite looking at him and so he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder, her neck and finally her lips.

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry, so sorry. I love you and I'm sorry,' he breathed between kisses.

'Its ok,' she was comforting him. He'd been a shit and her arms were holding him, her hands smoothing his hair, his back, her words soft.

'I'm such an ass. I was taking my stress, and my insecurity out on you, on everyone instead of dealing with it...and I'm sorry. God, you should never be treated like that, never be left wondering what you did, and I should never ignore you dressed like this,' he slipped a hand inside her dressing gown, running it up from her hip to her chest and back down again.

'Whats going on Pacey? Please talk to me. If this is all to much, if you and I are going to fast...if the house or the ring are too much...'

'No Joey, no don't say that, don't think that. God, please don't ever take that ring off or think that I don't want you or this because I do. If I could marry you tomorrow I would, like I really would, in a heartbeat. In fact let's do that. This weekend, book city hall, and get married, nice clothes, you and I, our friends, and family. No bridesmaids, no pomp, just you and I?'

'Tell me what's been bothering you,' she insisted and so he sat on the step pulling her onto his lap.

'I'm trying really hard Jo, but I can't shake this fear that I'm going to lose you. To work, to Dawson...I know it's stupid. I know it's irrational and teenage of me, but I still just can't quite believe this is all real.'

'Pace, you're not the only one. Believe me. I'm scare of losing this too.'

'You are?' he looked at her with wide eyes and she nodded,

'You know that. You have to know what this life we have together means? Truly means to me?'

'Then why does it feel so fragile?'

'Because we know life is fragile. All the certainties for both of us evaporated when I went off the grid. Think about how close we were, how close we all were. I mean we knew college would bring some separation but not that complete severing of all contact. My family,' she shrugged, 'my treatment over the last few years, I died with you stood right beside me sweetheart, none of that helps either of us feel secure.'

'No. Can I be honest?'

'Always.'

'Dawson arriving on Friday. Arriving right when everyone, but you, is at work. It just seemed so typical. I kept picturing arriving home. You and he on the couch together, him in my spot and both of you laughing, you know like you used to. I'm a selfish person Jo. I've had you all to myself. I haven't had to share and I love that. I don't want to share your heart with anyone.'

'Oh Pacey,' she laughed softly, 'that's crazy. You don't share someone's heart. You have my whole heart, of course you do, romantically speaking. But there's still more love - for Jen, Jack, your family, for Bubba even. Think about when we have kids? I'm not going to love you any less but I'm sure not going to hold back on loving them.'

'Ok,' he chuckled slightly, 'I can see how the selfish thing may only apply to Dawson. I'll admit it. We said we'd be honest.'

'I like Dawson. I do. He's a nice guy and he's a childhood friend. If you like I will make sure not to give him any of my heart. You can be selfish in that one respect. I think you deserve to be happy in that one respect. We'll be friends, distant friends. I don't love quite as easily as I once did, nor do I trust as easily. Dawson and I didn't part on great terms. I am more than happy to hold that against him,' she gave him a little smile and he laughed.

'Ok, ok, I'm a ridiculous fool,' he kissed her. 'And I'm going to do better. I'm going to do a lot better.'

'I wasn't being sarcastic Pacey,' she clarified.

'I know, which is why I'm going to get over this. I'm going to get over this right now. First, we're going upstairs to have fucking fantastic sex, and then I'm going to ask you again to marry me this weekend.'

'Pacey, if there's somewhere we can get married, the weekend before Christmas,' she rolled her eyes, 'then I'm there. I will ring around and let you know.'

'Really?' he knew he was grinning a huge grin because his cheeks hurt.

'Yes.'

'Oh I love you,' he mumbled into kisses.

'Now the fucking, fantastic sex please,' she ordered with a grin.

'Lead the way,' he pushed her off his lap and she stood to walk upstairs. 'Without this I think,' he pushed the robe off her shoulders and smirked.

'You're such a horn dog,' she shook her head but turned and walked up the steps in front of him anyway.

'You love it,' he informed her his hands sneaking out to appreciate her ass.

* * *

'Do it,' Joey ordered.

'I really have to?' he turned puppy dog eyes on her.

'I'll do it,' she shrugged, 'they're your parents Pace. If Jen and Jack are going to be there, your siblings are going to be there, we have to invite your parents.'

'Ok, ok...I'll do it.'

'I'll reward you,' she promised with a smile.

'Ok,' he grinned and then dialled.

'Hello,' his dad sounded grumpy.

'Hi dad it's Pacey.'

'Pacey,' was all his dad said.

'So Pops, I've got some news,' he began.

'I'm listening,' as always his dad sounded guarded, as if waiting for his kids to fail.

'Is mom there?'

'She's out. I can pass anything on.'

'Ok...well you remember Joey Potter?'

'Course I do. I arrested Mike Potter twice, kind of hard to forget the poor girls left behind.'

'Ok,' Pacey wasn't really sure what to say to that.

'Not to mention you moping about in love with her through high school.'

'So you knew about that?'

'Didn't everyone?' the line went silent. Clearly his dad had switched off the tv which meant Pacey had his attention.

'Um...' Pacey looked at Joey.

'Its ok, say it, just like it happened,' she reassured him and she stood and left the room, as they'd agreed.

'You know she and her family kind of disappeared?'

'Upped sticks when Mike Potter was released that second time,' his dad was interested. Pacey could picture him sat forward on his chair.

'Well... I found her, one day on my way to the hospital.'

'What do you mean, found her?'

'Here it is dad. Joey was recruited by the FBI after her father was released and began mixing with some rather unsavoury individuals. She infiltrated a terrorist cell connected with the group her father was involved in. She managed to bring them all to justice about four years ago. Only a couple of them escaped...'

'What do you mean escaped?'

'They took her...and well they did things to her. Bad things. But she swung it around. Only this guy...he came in and he...he tried to kill her, amongst other things. That's when I found her.'

'Tell me Pacey,' his father was bossy, Pacey could even picture him taking notes.

'She'd been raped dad, stabbed and she had a severe head injury which resulted in some amnesia.'

'She ok?' his dad's voice was gruff. If Pacey didn't know him so well he might have missed that he cared.

'She got better, but she remembered more and so she went back undercover. She was shot twice, but she got everyone arrested. They lost one of her guys though a few weeks later and she went back in to help find him. Her team messed up and she was alone with a group of them...within twenty minutes of being alone with them they'd cracked three of her ribs with pliers and severed her femoral artery.'

'What the hell kind of idiots are working at the FBI that they're letting that crap happen to a kid, a young girl?' his dad was angry.

'Dad...it's ok. Joey is really, really good at her job, but she's beautiful and she's a girl and so she's vulnerable. What she did was to protect America. Alone, she pretty much saved our country from two severe terrorist attacks.'

'Ok,' a note of awe.

'So I was calling because since I found her last June, well...I've been as in love with her as ever and she's been living with me. Turns out she loves me as madly as I love her. I asked her to marry me.'

'Well now Pacey,' his dad seemed stunned. 'She said yes?'

'Yeah dad, she said yes,' Pacey rolled his eyes.

'Well..that's...I guess.. I mean that's good news son.'

'We decided yesterday to get married this weekend. We want a small ceremony. You see Joey's entire family was murdered by the terrorist cell and well, with her dad serving life..we just want our friends, my brother and sisters and well you guys?'

'When?'

'This Saturday at 4pm. Everyone is coming back to our new house after that.'

'You moved?'

'About three weeks ago. Joey kinda bought me a house.'

'Well Pacey, your mom and I would be proud to be at your wedding.'

'Thanks dad, it's at City hall, but come to Doug and Jack's before hand if you want. I'm getting ready there. Not coattail and top hats obviously, but a suit.'

'To see you in a suit and tie - we'll be there early Pace.'

'Thanks dad.'

* * *

Pacey was edgy but not for the reasons he expected to be edgy for. It was D-day. Dawson and Joey reunited without a chaperoning soul in sight and he expected to feel like a nervous wreak. Instead he felt horny, which was going to be a huge problem considering he couldn't just go home and have his way with Joey because Dawson, and then everyone else were going to be there. And he was horny because Joey, knowing how he wasn't looking forward to Dawson's arrival, had taken it upon herself to send him dirty text messages all day, including a couple of extremely graphic photos. So as he pushed through the door he wasn't really thinking about Dawson but about how he might extract himself and Joey from Dawson's company long enough to relieve a little tension. Bubba bounded up to Pacey howling from joy as Pacey kicked off his shoes and managed to walk at a restrained place into the living room where Dawson was sat on the couch as predicted. Only Joey was sat across the coffee table on her rocking chair.

'Dawson man,' Pacey smiled as Dawson stood and the two of them hugged.

'Pacey this place is just awesome,' Dawson said as he sat down again.

'I'm a lucky guy,' he shrugged, 'and I have an awesome girl,' he winked at Joey and crossed the room, bending over to kiss her good and proper. At a cough from across the room he stopped and looked at his friend a little sheepishly. 'Sorry..long day.' Joey just smirked.

'Let me get you a drink Pace, so you and Dawson can catch up. Then we can tell him out news,' she stood up and hugged him quickly before heading to the kitchen.

'So Dawson man, how was the flight?' Pacey took Joey's seat.

'It was ok, good,' Dawson was withholding, Pacey could tell. He wasn't being unfriendly he just clearly had something on his chest.

'So you like the house. Romantic girl Joey. She likes to snoop, a lot. Found out I liked this house and bought it for me,' Pacey was babbling, he knew that but it was covering the slightly awkward silence.

'You asked her to marry you,' Dawson said at length, eyes appraising Pacey.

'She said yes,' Pacey shrugged, 'I love her. I have loved her for years.'

'She's been through a lot. She was telling me...you know the awful basics. She said you saved her life.'

'Yeah,' Pacey nodded, 'she was in a pretty bad way when I found her. She flatlined and I did the surgery, so I suppose in a way.'

'Its funny because the way she tells it, she means emotionally. That you literally saved her from something like hell,' Dawson had his appraising eyes on. Pacey felt like he'd been slapped, but in a good way. He gaped at Dawson.

'She did?' a slow smile crossed his face.

'She did,' Dawson nodded.

'Dawson...are we ok? Because I really can't tell here, and I'm feeling a little freaked out. I want us to be ok. I do.'

'We're ok Pace,' Dawson said but it still didn't really feel ok. 'Whats Joey doing?'

'Giving us time, you know to be ok,' Pacey said and Dawson shook his head,

'You know her pretty well?'

'Yeah I guess I do.'

'She's very different - you know, to the Joey I remember.'

'Well of course,' Pacey stated, 'but she's achingly the same as well.'

'Was it really bad? It sounds like it was really bad,' Dawson looked nervous.

'It was worse,' Pacey stated simply, 'but she's working on the damage left behind and she's just as funny and opinionated as she ever was.'

'Ok,' Dawson nodded.

'Be honest man, is this going to come between us?'

'Pacey that's a really hard question to answer right now. I haven't seen Joey in seven and a half years and you know what she meant to me, what she's always meant to me. I want her to be happy and if you make her happy, I guess that's ok.'

'That has to be ok,' Joey spoke from the door. 'Sorry I was listening in, I blame it on the FBI.'

'Back to blaming the FBI?' Pacey teased.

'For all my flaws, yeah,' she moved in and sat at Pacey's feet. 'So our news Dawson,' Joey dove right on in. Pacey rubbed her shoulder.

'Yeah?'

'Well we're getting married tomorrow,' Pacey grinned somewhat hopefully at his oldest friend.

'You're what?' Dawson spluttered.

'He said we're getting married tomorrow.'

'But that's so soon,' Dawson stared at them in open shock.

'Not to us,' Joey said simply.

'But how come you're only letting people know now? I mean...'

'We only decided a couple of days ago,' Joey smiled, 'not to get married but to do it like this.'

'Like what?'

'Small and low key,' Pacey filled in. 'We were going to wait until next fall, do something big, you know the whole bit, but we decided this was better.'

'How? I mean what about waiting to make sure? You've only been together six months. And after everything, doesn't Joey deserve more than a quicky wedding?'

'Dawson!' Joey protested.

'Well really,' Dawson rolled his eyes, 'you're worth more than a city hall wedding with a handful of people.'

'Actually a city hall wedding with a handful of people is exactly what I need. You think I want a big wedding that screams of what's missing?'

'And what's missing? If something's missing that's exactly why you should wait.'

'She's talking about her family dude,' Pacey stated quietly and Dawson flushed.

'Oh my god, I'm so sorry,' he ran a hand through his hair.

'Its ok Dawson. You know you're not the only one who still seems to think there's a competition for my affections, so let me set this straight right now. I'm Pacey's and Pacey is mine. Dawson you're an old friend. It would be great to have you as a current one, but listen when I say that if you do or say anything that in anyway suggests to either Pacey or I that we aren't right for one another then our friendship is over. All we have Dawson is right now. I can't predict the future but I can tell you I love Pacey and I need him and I can't see that changing any time soon. So are we clear?'

'We're clear,' Dawson nodded.

'Now, we would like you there, provided you're there to support us.'

'I'll be there. I'm sorry.'

'No worries man,' Pacey shrugged. 'Now Dawson, let's move on to lighter subjects. I need a favour from you.'

'Anything?'

'Could you please excuse Joey and I? We need to go sign a couple of papers the lawyer wanted. Jen and Doug should be here really soon and I'm worried if we don't get them done now, then they just won't get done with everything this weekend and then Christmas.'

'Sure of course, I'll make a start on dinner. Still doing lasagnes for big meals?' Dawson asked wryly.

'Of course,' Pacey grinned and standing up pulled Joey to her feet. Taking her hand he led her up the stairs and to her study.

'What papers Pacey?' she frowned as he shut the door behind them. He didn't bother answering just pressed her against the door and kissed her, and then kissed her some more.

'You can't expect to send me those dirty little messages all day,' he ground himself against her, 'and it not have an effect,' she moaned as his hand roughly caught her boob, his other hand trailing up her skirt and pressing between her legs despite her layers of clothes.

'Just letting you know what I was thinking about,' she moaned as he gripped the top of her leggings and pushed them down taking her panties with them.

'And then you say those things to Dawson, such a fucking turn on,' his fingers now returned to her naked flesh, playing a rhythm that had her groaning against his shoulder.

'We don't have time for this, get your clothes off,' she mumbled her hands tugging at his belt. He pushed her hands aside and unbuckled his belt and then she was pushing down his pants and he was pressing naked flesh against naked flesh. She gripped onto his shoulders and wrapped her legs around him until he was beautifully, blissfully inside her, thrusting into her, totally oblivious to the sound of her back against the door.

'You're so gorgeous,' he growled and moaned as she bit the skin on his shoulder.

'Harder Pace, closer,' she angled him with her feet and let out a strangled cry, 'oh my god, don't stop.' He moved at her command until she scratched at his back, a long cry on her lips. It was beautiful, and hot and he came with one last thrust into her.

'Oh god, I needed that,' he kissed her cheeks, her lips, her forehead.

'Mmmmm,' she responded eloquently.

'We have to go down,' he moaned into her ear.

'You can go down, fine by me,' she made to push him to his knees in front of her and he laughed,

'Later baby.'

'Promises, promises!'

'And totally naked,' he added, 'well maybe you can wear that bra..you know the new one...'

'Maybe,' she grinned and pulled up her panties and leggings.

'Clothes on,' she ordered and he pulled up his pants and buckled his belt.

'I loved what you said to him by the way.'

'I meant it,' she shrugged.

'Did he try anything? You can be honest?'

'Actually he tried to give me a hug but Bubba nearly took his leg off. It was pretty funny.'

'Love that dog.'

'Come on,' she took his hand and led him downstairs to the kitchen where Jen and Doug were now sitting talking to Dawson.

'Wow, get your papers signed?' Jen asked in an extremely patronizing voice.

'Yep,' Pacey gave her a shit eating grin.

'Took you a while,' Jen gave Joey a pointed look that flicked to her skirt that was tucked in at the side. Joey quickly untucked it.

'Whats the subtext here I'm missing?' Dawson looked at Jen.

'They were having sex. Whenever they want to have sex they say they have papers to sign.'

'Dude,' Pacey glared at his brother.

'Its kinda obvious,' Doug shrugged easily. 'Jack and I pretend to have an argument. Works like a dream.'

'Oh wow...that's a good one,' Jen looked at her partner with admiration.

'Undoes all and any suspicion, people think we're fighting but we're not.'

'I'm sorry Dawson, but this girl...she's been leading me on all day,' Pacey decided to lay all blame on Joey.

'She's been with me all day,' Dawson laughed.

'But the text messages man,' Pacey shrugged helplessly as Joey rolled her eyes.

'Come on guys, get this lasagne done!' she said instead. 'I'm actually hungry and I want an early night because I'm getting married tomorrow.'

'Wait a second, are you actually planning to stay here?' Doug and Jen looked horrified. 'With Pacey?'

'Well yeah,' Joey frowned. 'I was.'

'Nope. Either you stay with me or Pacey does,' Jen stated.

'I'll stay with you then,' Joey said easily, 'then Doug and Jack can take one of the spare rooms. Your parents are getting here at noon, so be long as you're at Doug's place by then. And I'll come back here with Jen and Gretchen get ready here.'

'But you made some promises about later?' Pacey pouted, the words whispered in her ear.

'Actually you promised,' she pointed out.

'Joey,' he complained.

'Tomorrow,' she chuckled. 'I got a new bra especially,' whispered in his ear.

'Ok,' he conceded.

After half an hour Jack made it and then they all ate before heading to the living room where Pacey lit a fire.

'I have to hand it to you guys, this house is really magical,' Dawson smiled at Joey and Pacey who were sat back on the couch with Bubba at their feet.

'I don't know, I have a fondness for Pacey's old place,' Joey mused staring into the flames.

'You couldn't have a party like you're planning tomorrow in the old place,' Jen pointed out, tilting her beer towards them.

'You know this is like your rehearsal dinner,' Doug grinned. 'Wow, can we expect lasagne tomorrow night as well?'

'Don't give him any ideas you lasagne nut,' Jack elbowed him.

'I happen to think this is the perfect rehearsal dinner,' Joey announced. 'You guys are it. My whole world in one room. I don't mind that it's not formal, or even that Pacey cooked lasagne, I just like us all being together.'

'Here here,' Jen said softly and tilted her glass, the others following suit.

'So all joking aside, what is the plan for tomorrow? You guys are way to relaxed,' Gretchen stared at them.

'Well when the boys leave at say 11.30 we can come back here to change or whatever. I'll let the cleaning crew in. We found this really nice place to cater for us and they're providing a couple if people to serve drinks and stuff. It's really all sorted.'

'How on such short notice did you manage that? And before Christmas?' Jen stared at Joey suspiciously.

'I may have used some FBI resources to find a catering company that could do it and of course that was well recommended.'

'Wow, that's a flagrant abuse of power,' Doug shook his head, 'but so long as the food is good I'm not complaining.'

'Ha ha,' Pacey reached across and punched his brothers shoulder.

'So will all Witter's be in attendance?' Dawson asked.

'The whole damn clan. Mom's bought a new dress,' Pacey began.

'Heaven help us,' Doug rolled his eyes

'Carrie, and her kids are coming, Anna and her husband Tom and their two kids, and these guys. That's it. Joey's got a few people from work, and I have a few buddies from work. About forty people I guess.'

* * *

As the evening drew to a close everyone stood to clear bottles, cups and dishes, Doug and Jack letting Bubba out whilst Jen, Pacey and Gretchen cleared. Pacey left them filling the dishwasher and was about to reenter the living room when he heard Dawson and Joey talking.

'So Joey, I know it's City Hall, but as one of your oldest friends I'd be honoured if you let me walk you down the aisle?' Dawson was being nice, Pacey knew that but it irked a little.

'Dawson that's a really lovely idea and I really appreciate the idea. Jack and Dug both offered...'

'Thats fine, no worries, I understand,' Dawson was quick to say and Pacey could hear the hurt.

'No, Dawson, I said to them what I'm saying to you. I want to walk myself up the aisle. No one is giving me away, I'm my own person and I'm joining Pacey in a life together. It's a little smultzy but I like to think of it like that.'

'You really love him? Back in school I wasn't quite as deluded as everyone thought. I saw hints of something more between you both. Now it's unavoidable!' He laughed. 'You're doing the right thing walking yourself up the aisle and you're doing the right thing marrying Pacey.'

'Agreed.'

'Thanks for letting me be part of it.'

'You're our oldest friend, of course you're part of it,' she smiled at him.

* * *

'I'll see you tomorrow Jo,' Pacey kissed her, 'you have everything you need right?'

'Well I have blue, new and borrowed, a little harder to come by old.'

'Well I can help. My mom sent me my grandmas old locket for you,' he handed her the gift box. 'Now I know it's tradition to give each other gifts so I was sure to put my photo inside,' he smiled and she chuckled, opening the box to reveal a small, simple, pale gold locket.

'I love it. Thank you Pace,' she whispered.

'This is also from me,' he handed her a book. 'Its a first edition. Not her own personal copy but...'

'Its perfect, thank you,' she kissed him, holding the copy of Little Womem against her chest. 'I got you something too,' she told him shyly.

'Thanks.'

'You don't know what it is.'

'I'll love it,' he stated and she rolled her eyes. 'Here,' she pulled a small packet out of her pocket which he opened.

'I don't understand?' he stared at a cheque made payable to her.

'Its an advance cheque for a book I wrote. Apparently I'm pretty good at the whole writing thing. So I quit the FBI and I'm going to write for a living, if that's ok with you? I will help them in an advisory role if they need it, but I'm off payroll.'

'You didn't do that for me did you?' he was overwhelmed.

'I did it for both of us. I wasn't happy there, it was fun in a way but I felt the same fear you did. And well...I now have my dream job.'

'I can't believe you did that,' he felt tears prick his eyes. He knew she was being honest and it wasn't just for him, but still, his feelings must have played some part in her decision.

'Thank you,' he hugged her tightly. 'That is really good news.'

'So I'll see you tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow,' they kissed.

'Ok, cut it out. Joey you're all ours. Boys - look after him,' Gretchen grabbed Joey, but let go at Bubba's growl. 'Chill out dog,' she glared at the dog who moved to stand in front of Joey.

'Bubba, chill out,' Joey ordered, and the dog dropped to the floor. Grabbing her bag Joey headed out with Gretchen and Jen.

* * *

The ceremony had been simple. Doug had been Pacey's best man, it was simplest otherwise he'd have had three. Joey walked up the aisle, gave herself away. They used the traditional civil words and after slipping on simple gold bands and a kiss, they signed the register and everything was legal. Pacey wasn't surprised he cried. Joey was wearing a simple knee length white dress and a simple veil and she looked utterly beautiful. And she was his and he was hers.

Afterwards the entire group headed back to Joey and Pacey's. The whole house was lit by fairy lights on the outside and the inside, with real Holly and mistletoe around the place. With a log fire burning and the smell of delicious food, champagne, beer and wine it was the perfect party.

Pacey's parents cornered he and Joey in the kitchen,

'You look beautiful Joey,' his dad said. 'It was a beautiful ceremony and this..it's a beautiful house and a great party.'

'Thanks Mr Witter.'

'John,' his dad clarified.

'Thanks John,' Joey smiled and turned to his mom, 'thank you for the locket. It's just beautiful. I love it.'

'Thats my pleasure. It looks wonderful on you. Thank you for having us here.'

'I hope we see you here lots,' Joey said sincerely.

'Yeah pops. I've got season tickets to the Bruins with Jack. When Jack can't make it, you should come up to a game.'

'I'd like that,' his dad smiled. 'Pacey, I know we never said it enough but we're really proud of you. You've made a lot of really good decisions, the decision to marry this one included, and we couldn't be more proud.'

'Thanks dad,' Pacey was surprised at the tears as his dad hugged him.

'Now enjoy your party,' his mom smiled, but took Joey's hand, 'I'm sorry. For everything that happened. We can't replace what you've lost but we're your family now.'

'Thank you,' Joey hugged his mother.

* * *

It was 2 in the morning as Pacey shut the door behind Gretchen after watching her into her cab. Joey was sat on the couch, the fire now embers.

'So Potter,' he sat beside her.

'Witter,' she smiled.

'Yeah?'

'No I meant that I'm changing it to Witter. It goes against all my inner beliefs but I really want to have that connection to others. I feel a little lonely being the only Potter left. Does that make sense?'

'Actually it does. But it would make sense for you to keep it too. I mean I know you, and I think I'm as attached to Josephine Potter as you. You know that you said your name was Josephine Potter, always had been, always would be when I first found you.'

'Yeah, I do remember. And I still feel like that but like I said, I need back up and there are an awful lot of you Witter's. Feels kind of nice to be part of something big and solid, with back up and clout.'

'You make us sound like the mafia,' Pacey chuckled.

'With Doug and your dad at the helm? I don't think so!' she grinned.

'So today went well.'

'Really well,' she nodded, 'I'm glad we did it this way. I don't think anything could have worked better,' she held up her hand and looked at her rings. 'Stuck with me now Witter.'

'Likewise Witter,' he said and then shook his head, 'that's gonna take getting used to.'

'You can still call me Potter, or I don't know, my given name.'

'What Josephine?' he laughed.

'I walked into that one. Obviously I meant Joey.'

'Nah, far to mundane lassie,' he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head. 'Now, it's been pretty full on since you walked up that aisle, but I feel the need to tell you again how utterly, heart-stoppingly gorgeous you look in that dress.'

'What, this little old thing?' she teased.

'Yeah,' he ran a hand up her leg and swallowed. 'Joey...'

'Yes Pacey,' she smiled.

'Are you um...wearing...suspenders?'

'I'm every Pacey's wet dream,' she breathed and smiled again.

'That you are,' he agreed grinning at her joke.

'You know Pacey our rug over there is empty and I've still got a little energy left,' she shrugged.

'That sounds romantic,' he laughed.

'We're married now, the romance is gone,' she sniffed.

'In that case, take off your dress and march your beautiful behind over to the rug.'

'Wow, the romance really is dead,' she teased and turned her back to him. 'Zipper please,' she murmured. Pacey was surprised to find his hand shaking.

'You know you love me,' he pressed a kiss to the skin he exposed.

'I know you bug me,' she turned her head a caught his lips in a kiss.


End file.
